Motion after Case Conference

[LovingDad1234]

I will focus on criminal instead - which is a year away

I think you need to do much more than just focus on criminal stuff if you want a shot at 50/50.

In Family Court, anything goes, no matter how ludicrous. What I mean by this is mental health allegations. Anyone can fling their opinions in briefs to say “I think the other parent has mental health issues” despite the party having no clue about the topic. Is your ex a psychiatrist who can provide an educated opinion? My guess would be no. But still, Family Court gives everyone a licence and the ability to fling allegations and then your job is to dismay them. Do you fling back? No, because judges want to see you keep calm and take the high road. I would suggest to start seeing a counsellor who specializes in mental health and build a relationship. See that person OFTEN, to the point that they KNOW you well and gave no issue vouching for you. Do it proper, get an actual mental health counsellor. She alleges mental health issues? You have a witness in the professional field to discard her allegations. Then she will be the one who looks silly and shoot herself in foot for slinging mud.

Also, remember to be a star at your supervised access visits. They take excellent notes of each visit, and that will be evidence in your favour. Make it do that they shot themselves in foot for insisting on supervised access.

[Abba435]

Dear all,

Thank you for all your feedback. I admit I did act out on emotion. I wanted to help my kids to be with me when their mom was gone for 4 nights a month and leaving them with a babysitter.

It goes against every hair on my body, but I will trust all your advice and let this one go. I will focus on criminal instead - which is a year away

thanks again.

Family law treated like civil litigation is like using adult criminal justice for kids.
So many examples of where a truly collaborative, child centred and multi disciplinary approach would actually improve lives.
Leaving people to twist in the wind, figuring it out even with expensive legal advocacy and learning the hard way is inhuman.
But it ain't changing.
The lesson here is get a good therapist if you can and listen to them.
I hope you did learn that anger is the worst thing for you adn your kids and for anyone.
It can definitely come down to what the Judge had for lunch.
Pissing them off on top of that is legal suicide

[rvalentines]

Dear all,

Thank you for all your feedback. I admit I did act out on emotion. I wanted to help my kids to be with me when their mom was gone for 4 nights a month and leaving them with a babysitter.

It goes against every hair on my body, but I will trust all your advice and let this one go. I will focus on criminal instead - which is a year away

thanks again.

[standing on the sidelines]

Dear all,

Thank you for your inputs.

I lost sight of the fact that I have criminal charges and I was angry that she was using the charges to limit my access to the children. I saw my children upset when they had to go back to Mom's house and I told myself I need to do something. It was not a smart decision in hindsight and I learned that Family Law gives judges too much discretion to make decisions which are not based AT ALL on the best interest of the children.

Nevertheless, I hear that everyone is saying do NOT bring an appeal. This is a VERY hard pill for me to swallow because I know my children have been wronged by this 80-year old judge. A lawyer also told me to not appeal as it's just not worth it despite the error in law.

The Lawyer told me to get good notes from access center and go through it for 3-5 months until we can try and go back to the previous schedule (alternating weekends).

try not to react out of anger. I know it is hard but you need to look at the end game and not the short pass. What I mean is focus on the result you want after all this and let some things slide. Most kids would probably get upset at transition time due to a number of factors like age and different parenting styles are just two that come to mind. You need to just reassure that both parents love and want to spend time with them.

You shot yourself in the foot with this one and now have less then you had before. Next time it could be worse so let the anger subside before acting.

[Janus]

How can I dig a deeper hole with bringing an appeal?

The court system keeps track of the number of times you lose. Judges see "oh, this guy brings cases that he keeps on losing, he is probably a crackpot", and they start off assuming that you are still a crackpot.

You have no chance of winning an appeal.

What kind of system do we have that it depends on the "Judges mood". Unfortunately I have learned the hard way.

Unfortunately, I think you learned the wrong lesson. It was not that you got a judge in a bad mood, it is that your case was hopeless from the start.

Deal with the criminal charges first, attend all possible access. Nothing you do will work until then.

If you get convicted of criminal charges, expect to lose your kids.

[rockscan]

Motion after Case Conference

In order to appeal you have to demonstrate the judge erred on the law. He didn’t. Just because you disagree doesn’t mean he was wrong.

Get something through your head—you are not right. You have criminal charges against you. The prosecutor believes they have enough to convict you. Now a judge doesn’t think you are safe to be around your own children. Do you not see what a gigantic bonehead move it was to file a motion AFTER AN AGREEMENT? And then after LOSING that motion you want to appeal?

Why are you bothering to come here for advice? You clearly do your own thing and could care less about what we have to say. Many of the people who gave you that advice you sought have been through the process and educated themselves on the process. You insult them with this.

[Kinso]

How can I dig a deeper hole with bringing an appeal?

Depending on your global strategy is may show the concerns expressed by the motions Judge are not taken seriously by you. This clear by your posts, but may be at odds the recommended approach in your case. Hard to know without all the details.

I'm not saying the Judge was correct in their decision or process, but I also believe there is more to the story than what you're posting.

[rvalentines]

How can I dig a deeper hole with bringing an appeal? My understanding is that I would have to incur further costs if I lose.
What kind of system do we have that it depends on the "Judges mood". Unfortunately I have learned the hard way.

[rvalentines]

Dear all,

Thank you for your inputs.

I lost sight of the fact that I have criminal charges and I was angry that she was using the charges to limit my access to the children. I saw my children upset when they had to go back to Mom's house and I told myself I need to do something. It was not a smart decision in hindsight and I learned that Family Law gives judges too much discretion to make decisions which are not based AT ALL on the best interest of the children.

Nevertheless, I hear that everyone is saying do NOT bring an appeal. This is a VERY hard pill for me to swallow because I know my children have been wronged by this 80-year old judge. A lawyer also told me to not appeal as it's just not worth it despite the error in law.

The Lawyer told me to get good notes from access center and go through it for 3-5 months until we can try and go back to the previous schedule (alternating weekends).

[Abba435]

Appealing a temporary order requires leave (permission) of the appellant court. This is not a simple self-rep friendly process.

It does sound like an error in law to make an order without notice, but it’s also a temporary order, which has a very high standard for overturning.

You should get proper legal advice before you make things worse.

What Kinso said. Great advice.

[Kinso]

Yes - I screwed up because my kids wanted to see me more. I admit.

No, you screwed up because you brought an ill-advised motion. Calling the Judge incompetent affirms to me that you do not accept your own role in this situation.

Absent an accurate picture of your situation, you will not be equipped to move forward in a way consistent with your goals.

[LovingDad1234]

I empathize, I really do. But you had decent access considering you have criminal charges pending resolution. Some of us have terrible access and are being patient to better days. You should have just kept your head down pending resolution of your criminal case and hopefully settled your Family Law case.

You are clearly in an acrimonious situation with your ex, where you are now fending off vindictive mental health assertions. Dirty tactic but you will have to work hard to dismiss that allegation. Go start seeing a mental health counsellor and build a relationship with them, as you may need a witness in the field at a trial. Supervised Access centres take notes on your visits. Arrive early, never miss a visit, being snacks, gifts, spend quality time. The Notes can be used to your favour.

But honestly, you had access agreed to on consent pending resolution of your case, whether it be via final settlement on consent or imposed through trial. Why on earth did you bring a motion for such small things? You are open game at motions and trials.

Appeal decision of judge? In my view, that’s a Hail Mary. Either you succeed or seriously shoot yourself in the foot and dig a deeper hole.

Lesson to those out there: Pick your battles for motions. Anything can happen at motions or trials, all depends on the judges mood.

[Kinso]

Appealing a temporary order requires leave (permission) of the appellant court. This is not a simple self-rep friendly process.

It does sound like an error in law to make an order without notice, but it’s also a temporary order, which has a very high standard for overturning.

You should get proper legal advice before you make things worse.

[Abba435]

Yes - I screwed up because my kids wanted to see me more. I admit.

What are your thoughts on appealing?

Let this lie until criminal matter is resolved.
You are making things much worse.
This is not the hill to die on.
You WILL die on it.

[rvalentines]

Yes - I screwed up because my kids wanted to see me more. I admit.

What are your thoughts on appealing?