Motion Court Order

[Dad1985]

Hello Everybody,

First some background.

I took my ex to court for shared custody of our daughter, who at the time was a newborn and through the process roughly 2 years old. We were dealing with the issues out of the Kitchener court house. Ultimately, the mother received sole custody after OCL was involved and her age played part in the decision. My final access in the court order is Friday 2:30 PM daycare pick up - Monday morning 10 AM day care drop off and every Friday 2:30 PM day care pick up to drop off with mother at 8 PM (my daughter usually ends up staying over as well and dropped of with mom in the morning).

My daughter is now 4 and will be starting school in September where her mother will be dropping her off at 6:30 AM and ill be taking her to school every morning. In the summer, she will be coming over from 8 Am - 3 PM daily monday to friday with my regular weekend access as well. I work nights Mon - Thur from 4 PM - 3 AM which allows me the time during the day, also support from family members.

I also have 2 weeks vacation with my daughter (work has bumped me to 4) and selected holidays.


In the Final court order there is a point which says the terms of this order and any subsequent order can be reviewed Nov 2019 without having to provide material change in circumstances.

Would i have a case for shared custody given the amount of time ill be getting to?

[Selfrepmom]

I would say even without the November 2019 clause in your original order, you have a case to change the access schedule (child starting school is a change in circumstance, as original schedule will no longer work with new school hours, and you have also been spending more time with kid)

Why was sole custody originally ordered? How have you and mom got along in the past year? Is this something you could talk to her about? It sounds like she’s been pretty flexible about increasing your time recently, would she be willing to just sign a consent order?

Getting a new order for increased parenting time shouldn’t be too difficult considering everything you’ve mentioned. Might be harder to get the custody changed from sole to joint though

[Dad1985]

Why was sole custody originally ordered? How have you and mom got along in the past year? Is this something you could talk to her about? It sounds like she’s been pretty flexible about increasing your time recently, would she be willing to just sign a consent order?

Sole custody was originally ordered as my daughter was so young at the time. I started the process when my daughter was 1 and it finished when she was about 2. My ex used my past anxiety/depression which is not at all relevant anymore. OCL was involved as well who said they see a foundation for shared in the future although not right now.

The Mother and i get along fine now and more so when things are going her way so i dont really put up much of a fuss. This was the time all in the originally court order minus taking her to school.

Considering the amount of time i will have my daughter, id also be looking to have support reduced

[Selfrepmom]

Forget about changing CS orders right now. Walk before you run. Telling your ex you want to decrease CS as a result of increased parenting time is probably the quickest way to derail this delicate status quo you are building.

Play nice. Consistently ask ex for extra time/offer to take child during times she is busy. Get every single extra minute of parenting time agreed to over email and then document it in your own journal/schedule. For school in September perhaps talk to your ex about overnights throughout the week. She is going to get tired of the 6:30am drop off every single morning. Offer to take daughter for overnights once school begins once a week on top of regular schedule so she doesn’t always have to have daughter up and ready that early.

Go to doctors appointments. Volunteer in your kid’s kindergarten class/school trips/etc. Make sure your kid’s teacher is familiar with you and realizes you are an active and involved father. Go to parent/teacher meetings. Give the teacher your contact info and ask what the best arrangement is to keep you in the loop regarding school matters (my daughter’s kindergarten class uses an app called SeeSaw). Email your ex To coordinate who will be at appointments, make offers to help, etc- all in a respectful and pleasant tone.

Document the shit out of everything. Then, once you pass the November date, start thinking about how you will proceed (if ex is agreeable or if court is necessary) Do not think about CS right now. Focus entirely on moving to 50/50. Once that occurs, a change in CS can be easily argued. But don’t make yourself sound like the countless parents who’s main motivation to change access is based around CS

[Dad1985]

i work a night shift so the overnights during the week arent possible. the mother starts work early which is the reason she will be dropping her off at the time and me driving her to school.

Understandably, night shift leaves a sour taste once brought up although we work off each others schedule given that her mom works to early to drop off and i work too late to pick up. Also im only working 4 days a week which leaves every friday open for pick up and drop off.

The child support is not the main motivation here but it is a factor. Agreed though it should not be brought up at this time.

[Selfrepmom]

So if mom were to call you up tomorrow and say “I’ve had a change of heart, let’s do 50/50”, what would your ideal parenting schedule look like? How or would you adjust your work schedule to accommodate your daughter coming to live with you 50%?

[arabian]

yep sounds like $$ is the deal... new family/financial pressure?

[Dad1985]

Considering my regular weekend access and school drop offs the hours would work out based on a two week schedule

100 Hours - Dad Mon - Fri 6 Am - 9 AM, Fri 6 AM - 9 AM, pick up school at 3 till monday morning drop off at 9 am. every other fri 6 am - 9 am pick up at school 3, drop off with mom at 8-9.
166 hours - Mom
70 - Hours 3rd party (school)

This would make it an exact 60/40 split

In the summer my hours increase as ill look after my daughter during the day from 8 am - 3 pm. friday all day going into my all weekend access every other weekend.

at this point for summer based on two weeks

170 Dad
166 Mom

[Dad1985]

yep sounds like $$ is the deal... new family/financial pressure?

This was intended to be my plan regardless of finances. No financial pressures. New family for Ex although not a driving factor.

The intention is that any moneys is to be spent on my time with daughter and education fund which i already contribute too.

Call me selfish if i want to spend my own money on my daughter

[arabian]

you work nights.. when do you sleep?

[Dad1985]

you work nights.. when do you sleep?

during school year
3 Am - 6 Am.

Drop off daughter at school for 9 AM. Back to sleep.

During summer ill have the support of multiple family members as well.

[arabian]

I'm not calling you any names. Just trying to figure out your motive is all.
Too many people on here are dishonest but judge figures that out in the end.

[arabian]

"multiple family members" will be looking after your child? Are these people that your ex would approve of?

[Dad1985]

Understood. Just trying to be active in my daughters life.

[Dad1985]

"multiple family members" will be looking after your child? Are these people that your ex would approve of?

Yes.

Parents and siblings