Hello all,
Looking for some advice on our situation. Sorry in advance for the novel.
My partner and his ex wife separated in 2015 and entered a separation agreement in 2016.
While married, they were both equal caregivers. My partner was even a stay at home dad with the oldest son for 6 months while his ex wife went back to work. My partner agreed to let her stay in the matrimonial home as their "primary residence" with one additional access day for his ex than him so she has 4 days (1 additional week night), he has 3 days and holidays are equally shared.
At the time, he was agreeable to this as he wanted them to have consistency in their lives but him and his ex "verbally" agreed that if she moved, access and support would go to 50/50. He should have known better...verbal agreements mean nothing.
He did send an email to her lawyer (we added proof of this email in our conference brief) before signing requesting their 50/50 agreement upon moving be added but her lawyer failed to add this and he signed it anyways unaware of how hard it would be to change this.
He did not obtain a lawyer prior to signing the agreement and she continually threatened full table amount and that getting a lawyer wouldn't change his outcome. He wasn't aware that the access he had was considered shared access and that the off set amount should have been utilized. Something his lawyer would have told him had he gotten one.
As for support, her lawyer drafted the agreement up that he should be paying $1000 (agreed upon them at the time based on their incomes) despite full table calling for $1210 at the time based on his income of $84,000 (she was making $64k). They made it look like they were doing him a service by shaving off $200 dollars and he had no idea that the off set amount should have been used in their situation which would have called for HUNDREDS of dollars less in support.
He also agreed to shared all extra ordinary expenses of course.
From there, they agreed (verbally again) that he would add an additional $200 to cover special expenses as opposed to her sending receipts every month.
This $1200 was to be inclusive of support AND special expenses regardless of the way the agreement was worded for special expenses.
She asked one time for more money towards "sports" (ironically before she went to New York for the weekend...) but he said no. That he wasn't open to giving her more.
Again, he did not have a lawyer (which he's realized was a terrible mistake).
She moved from the matrimonial home in 2017 and he brought up to her that he was hoping to move to the 50/50 access and support they agreed upon prior to the agreement which she completely thwarted despite what she told him. We even have a text of her saying she's open to allowing him 50/50 IF he keeps paying her what he has been which in my opinion, suggests that he's a completely capable father but she just wants the monthly pay checks. We recorded this text in a recent case conference brief.
***Side note, this is a woman who's admitted to several family members that she has a shopping problem, has always lived heavily in consumer debt, spent a home equity loan in implants amongst other things and had thousands of dollars on hidden credit cards during their marriage so it's obvious why she would want to continue receiving this money despite our access already being OVER the 40% threshold.
She's also taken 7 vacations (all 5 days or longer) WITHOUT her children and we gladly cared for them each time.
She's now making $85k and my partner $95K calling for an offset amount of approx. $104 in support a month (plus shared expenses of course). He's tried numerous times to sort this out personally and via counsel with numerous offers.
He's offered her $300 a month in support over the $104, allowing that she keeps the $500 a month child tax benefit she's been receiving and that he will never claim it and that they split all expenses in proportion to their income. She will NOT budge.
He also offered to continue paying her the $1200 for 6 more months so she can get financially organized and then it would move to the off set. Again, no budging from her.
We've now motioned for a change in access to 50/50 (2 additional days a month for my partner) and for the offset support amount to be utilized as it always should have been.
She's now served back denying his claims as well as motioning for retro on support and special expenses. Trying to dispute why he shouldn't have 50/50 access now that we served her. She's saying he doesn't attend doctor's apps or parent teacher meetings amongst other things which isn't true (we have numerous texts of the kids at appointments or of him saying he'll take them).
She's also listed a few things suggesting he favours his own schedule over time with the boys because he golfs and plays hockey sometimes which never effects his time with the kids? She does things on her own time as well?
She's saying that because she lives closer to the school and they can walk from her house next year, that they should stay with her more even though we only live 8 driving minutes from their school.
She's also trying to get retroactive payment on support (saying he should have shown his income yearly - which he did and we have an email of it) as well as retro special expenses even though they verbally agreed to $200 being enough AS well as trying to get her legal costs covered. It's SO sad thinking that she would try to basically bankrupt the boy's father when both boys are so close with him. The standard of living would change drastically here if she got everything she asked for.
They have their first case conference this upcoming Tuesday which will most likely amount to nothing. She's denied or ignored each reasonable offer and is still going for everything she originally asked for.
That said, my partner's lawyer is motioning for an interim order the day afterwards assuming she won't settle (and she won't) for the off set to be utilized until the case is fully heard.
Based on the above, what are the chances of the separation agreement being put aside as he didn't have a lawyer and his chances of getting 50/50 fully (already having %43 or more access) as well as the court granting an interim OR final order for reduction in child support to the off set amount and access?
Is there a chance she could win retro and costs?
Thank you.
Looking for some advice on our situation. Sorry in advance for the novel.
My partner and his ex wife separated in 2015 and entered a separation agreement in 2016.
While married, they were both equal caregivers. My partner was even a stay at home dad with the oldest son for 6 months while his ex wife went back to work. My partner agreed to let her stay in the matrimonial home as their "primary residence" with one additional access day for his ex than him so she has 4 days (1 additional week night), he has 3 days and holidays are equally shared.
At the time, he was agreeable to this as he wanted them to have consistency in their lives but him and his ex "verbally" agreed that if she moved, access and support would go to 50/50. He should have known better...verbal agreements mean nothing.
He did send an email to her lawyer (we added proof of this email in our conference brief) before signing requesting their 50/50 agreement upon moving be added but her lawyer failed to add this and he signed it anyways unaware of how hard it would be to change this.
He did not obtain a lawyer prior to signing the agreement and she continually threatened full table amount and that getting a lawyer wouldn't change his outcome. He wasn't aware that the access he had was considered shared access and that the off set amount should have been utilized. Something his lawyer would have told him had he gotten one.
As for support, her lawyer drafted the agreement up that he should be paying $1000 (agreed upon them at the time based on their incomes) despite full table calling for $1210 at the time based on his income of $84,000 (she was making $64k). They made it look like they were doing him a service by shaving off $200 dollars and he had no idea that the off set amount should have been used in their situation which would have called for HUNDREDS of dollars less in support.
He also agreed to shared all extra ordinary expenses of course.
From there, they agreed (verbally again) that he would add an additional $200 to cover special expenses as opposed to her sending receipts every month.
This $1200 was to be inclusive of support AND special expenses regardless of the way the agreement was worded for special expenses.
She asked one time for more money towards "sports" (ironically before she went to New York for the weekend...) but he said no. That he wasn't open to giving her more.
Again, he did not have a lawyer (which he's realized was a terrible mistake).
She moved from the matrimonial home in 2017 and he brought up to her that he was hoping to move to the 50/50 access and support they agreed upon prior to the agreement which she completely thwarted despite what she told him. We even have a text of her saying she's open to allowing him 50/50 IF he keeps paying her what he has been which in my opinion, suggests that he's a completely capable father but she just wants the monthly pay checks. We recorded this text in a recent case conference brief.
***Side note, this is a woman who's admitted to several family members that she has a shopping problem, has always lived heavily in consumer debt, spent a home equity loan in implants amongst other things and had thousands of dollars on hidden credit cards during their marriage so it's obvious why she would want to continue receiving this money despite our access already being OVER the 40% threshold.
She's also taken 7 vacations (all 5 days or longer) WITHOUT her children and we gladly cared for them each time.
She's now making $85k and my partner $95K calling for an offset amount of approx. $104 in support a month (plus shared expenses of course). He's tried numerous times to sort this out personally and via counsel with numerous offers.
He's offered her $300 a month in support over the $104, allowing that she keeps the $500 a month child tax benefit she's been receiving and that he will never claim it and that they split all expenses in proportion to their income. She will NOT budge.
He also offered to continue paying her the $1200 for 6 more months so she can get financially organized and then it would move to the off set. Again, no budging from her.
We've now motioned for a change in access to 50/50 (2 additional days a month for my partner) and for the offset support amount to be utilized as it always should have been.
She's now served back denying his claims as well as motioning for retro on support and special expenses. Trying to dispute why he shouldn't have 50/50 access now that we served her. She's saying he doesn't attend doctor's apps or parent teacher meetings amongst other things which isn't true (we have numerous texts of the kids at appointments or of him saying he'll take them).
She's also listed a few things suggesting he favours his own schedule over time with the boys because he golfs and plays hockey sometimes which never effects his time with the kids? She does things on her own time as well?
She's saying that because she lives closer to the school and they can walk from her house next year, that they should stay with her more even though we only live 8 driving minutes from their school.
She's also trying to get retroactive payment on support (saying he should have shown his income yearly - which he did and we have an email of it) as well as retro special expenses even though they verbally agreed to $200 being enough AS well as trying to get her legal costs covered. It's SO sad thinking that she would try to basically bankrupt the boy's father when both boys are so close with him. The standard of living would change drastically here if she got everything she asked for.
They have their first case conference this upcoming Tuesday which will most likely amount to nothing. She's denied or ignored each reasonable offer and is still going for everything she originally asked for.
That said, my partner's lawyer is motioning for an interim order the day afterwards assuming she won't settle (and she won't) for the off set to be utilized until the case is fully heard.
Based on the above, what are the chances of the separation agreement being put aside as he didn't have a lawyer and his chances of getting 50/50 fully (already having %43 or more access) as well as the court granting an interim OR final order for reduction in child support to the off set amount and access?
Is there a chance she could win retro and costs?
Thank you.
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