Jordan Ruling should apply to family court

[Stillbreathing]

It's grotesquely unfair that a person charged with a criminal offence has the right to a trial within a reasonable time frame of 30 months maximum whereas a family law litigant does not have a right to a trial within a reasonable time frame.

Soon to Be Ex (STBX) will now be renamed Not Quite so Soon to be my Ex as I'd Like (NQSSTBXAIL).

We are in our 6th year of litigation. I have begged and pleaded with the judges to set a trial date. NQSSTBXAIL has stalled, delayed and stalled and delayed some more with judicial blessings bestowed upon him and his cash register of a lawyer.

Maybe I should change tactics. Disobey all court orders. Beg to be charged with contempt and once I am...bingo...invoke the Jordan ruling... maybe then I can get my divorce trial within the next 30 months...

... a girl can dream...

[piggybanktoex]

Or a girl can get a job and move on......

I'm merely guessing that it is cheaper to pay the "cash register" of a lawyer than lose what he has to you in court.....

Please correct / scold me if I'm wrong, and I want to be, but doubt I am. And yes, I'm a bitter person concerning that topic.

Why in God would anyone sane drag out a divorce except for fear of major financial loss (or ruin).

Twenty year marriage saw me pay out for an additional 20 years more. Can NOT imagine why STBX would delay and delay and delay.

The only quick divorce I ever saw was between two equally earning partners with a mid-teen child. 50%-50% split with no money changing hands.

A guy can only dream......

[standing on the sidelines]

Or a girl can get a job and move on......

I'm merely guessing that it is cheaper to pay the "cash register" of a lawyer than lose what he has to you in court.....

Please correct / scold me if I'm wrong, and I want to be, but doubt I am. And yes, I'm a bitter person concerning that topic.

Why in God would anyone sane drag out a divorce except for fear of major financial loss (or ruin).

Twenty year marriage saw me pay out for an additional 20 years more. Can NOT imagine why STBX would delay and delay and delay.

The only quick divorce I ever saw was between two equally earning partners with a mid-teen child. 50%-50% split with no money changing hands.

A guy can only dream......

or the one holding up with delays etc doesnt want to let go of the control. They want to drag out the process as long as possible so the ex cannot move on with their life.

[Stillbreathing]

Piggyback to Ex, my situation is unusual in that my ex is severely brain damaged and his lawyer is milking him for his 7 figure accident settlement monies.
I am a well educated professional and worked part time during the marriage. After separation my ex went on a mission to destroy all my sources of income, including my business and my job. He does not wish to pay spousal or child support and in the same breath has filed vexatious complaints with my employer in an effort to have me fired. He does not want to support me but also at the same time does not want me to stand on my own two feet ( which I have done).
Despite his best efforts to destroy me I am working full time ( my employer has a restraining order against him).

I have full defacto custody of the children ( he has supervised because he assaulted them).

He has made life for the children and I a living hell. We have been homeless at one point , have had to go into hiding twice.... I have had legal representation, self-repped and now that I'm working have a lawyer again.

My STBX is livid that I have landed an excellent paying job. He
Is worth 7 figures yet pays a few hundred in Child support only when he feels like it.

He does not want the litigation to end! It's about power, control and revenge for him. He's too brain damaged to care what it's doing to the kids.

I just want it to end and move on with my life. That's why I feel there should be a reasonable time line to trial for family court litigants. Six years with not a single solitary issue resolved because my ex is not mentally all there is not acceptable. It's nothing short of torture!

[arabian]

Or a girl can get a job and move on......

I'm merely guessing that it is cheaper to pay the "cash register" of a lawyer than lose what he has to you in court.....

Please correct / scold me if I'm wrong, and I want to be, but doubt I am. And yes, I'm a bitter person concerning that topic.

Why in God would anyone sane drag out a divorce except for fear of major financial loss (or ruin).

Twenty year marriage saw me pay out for an additional 20 years more. Can NOT imagine why STBX would delay and delay and delay.

The only quick divorce I ever saw was between two equally earning partners with a mid-teen child. 50%-50% split with no money changing hands.

A guy can only dream......

I was divorced in less than a year from when I served ex papers. Yes money changed hands. 30 year marriage. Binding Arbitration and no children to argue over.

[arabian]

Piggyback to Ex, my situation is unusual in that my ex is severely brain damaged and his lawyer is milking him for his 7 figure accident settlement monies.
I am a well educated professional and worked part time during the marriage. After separation my ex went on a mission to destroy all my sources of income, including my business and my job. He does not wish to pay spousal or child support and in the same breath has filed vexatious complaints with my employer in an effort to have me fired. He does not want to support me but also at the same time does not want me to stand on my own two feet ( which I have done).
Despite his best efforts to destroy me I am working full time ( my employer has a restraining order against him).

I have full defacto custody of the children ( he has supervised because he assaulted them).

He has made life for the children and I a living hell. We have been homeless at one point , have had to go into hiding twice.... I have had legal representation, self-repped and now that I'm working have a lawyer again.

My STBX is livid that I have landed an excellent paying job. He
Is worth 7 figures yet pays a few hundred in Child support only when he feels like it.

He does not want the litigation to end! It's about power, control and revenge for him. He's too brain damaged to care what it's doing to the kids.

I just want it to end and move on with my life. That's why I feel there should be a reasonable time line to trial for family court litigants. Six years with not a single solitary issue resolved because my ex is not mentally all there is not acceptable. It's nothing short of torture!

Totally feel for you. I hope that once you do get to trial that your ex doesn't do what mine did and drag you back for years in an attempt to have the whole thing overturned. My ex did that for 7 years. I believe the only reason he stopped is that his g/f isn't well enough to carry on the nonsense anymore. Actually since his g/f has stopped involving herself, my ex and I find that we get along - just so long as we don't talk about the past we have pleasant conversations. Common denominator is our son.

Hope you can find some peace some day. Glad to hear you have meaningful employment. Living well is good payback to idiot ex.

[piggybanktoex]

Disregard my ignorant comment in this case.

I stand both corrected and shameful.

Although it appears sane doesn't enter into it.

Sorry for my assumptions. I truly hope things get better for you soon.

[Stillbreathing]

Piggybanktoex no worries. We all come from the pain of our own individual experiences and see others situations through that lens.

My STBX is actually missing a chunk of his brain. His illogical and bizarre behaviours are explainable. The fact the court is allowing him to harm the children and I because of the things he does, is not.

The court has also overstepped their legal bounds in one order. My own lawyer suggested I comply with this order which violated my human rights. I don't want to go in to detail. I did not comply and there is absolutely nothing the judge can do about it . Defying this order turned out to be the best decision I have made yet throughout this litigation as it benifits the children and I beyond measure.

But again, I would never have had to exert my rights in this fashion had we gone to trial and dealt with at least some of the issues.

Hence my post that the Jordan ruling should be applicable to family litigants and their children. We're human beings too!

[Janus]

What kind of remedy do you propose?

In criminal cases, the charges can be dismissed. That option is not available in family law cases.

[viewfromthecheapseats]

I can appreciate your frustration. Criminal and family law are distinctly different with different things at stake. Being incarcerated without bail is not a worry for anyone in family court. Loss of freedom is not something that we have to worry about per se. So yes there is a burden of responsibility to ensure that anyone dealing with criminal charges should have an absolute right to a speedy trial. Whether it is prudent or not we always have the ability to say enough to family court proceedings and accept what has been put on the table.

[Aghast]

I agree. It has been 5 and a half years for me. I have to admit that I am also to blame because I didn't push to move the case along as I should have.

One statement of yours frustrates me. Your STBX has supervised visits because he has assaulted the children. My STBX has assaulted our children, two have left to live with me. The third is too young to make that decision. CAS isn't concerned. I hope it isn't a gender issue because I sure feel that if I did the things she did, I'd be in jail. Motion in 2 weeks so we will see if it is a gender issue.

I hope you are at least getting costs for all these court appearances.

[Stillbreathing]

I can appreciate your frustration. Criminal and family law are distinctly different with different things at stake. Being incarcerated without bail is not a worry for anyone in family court. Loss of freedom is not something that we have to worry about per se. So yes there is a burden of responsibility to ensure that anyone dealing with criminal charges should have an absolute right to a speedy trial. Whether it is prudent or not we always have the ability to say enough to family court proceedings and accept what has been put on the table.

That's the problem. Nothing is on the table! He refuses to accept my offers as well as refuses to make any offers. He doesn't want to settle ANY of the issues!