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At a complete loss, need some advice
Hi, I just realized I have been flipping through this forum since 2015! Time flies. This may be a bit long but I really need advice and opinions. Here's my story:
My spouse's ex left him for another man in 2011. My husband left the matrimonial home and rented an apartment. He took only his personal belongings from the home. At the time of separation he had 2 kids aged 12 and 15, and an ex who was qualified in her profession, but chose not to work.
I met my husband a year and a half after his separation.
He is self employed and has a professional corporation. The ex continued to receive a substantial amount of monthly dividends ($7000 per month) plus my husband continued to pay ALL expenses including mortgage, insurance, household bills, even all cell phones. My husband has only ever worked and did not have a support network of any kind, so he spent time with the ex and her boyfriend and continued to visit them all at the matrimonial home. After the separation, she talked him into buying a brand new vehicle for her to drive. It is solely in his name, and to this day, he still pays 950 per month for it while his vehicle is falling apart. When we started dating, the ex would constantly ask him for money for a new fridge, or car repairs etc. He would always give her whatever she asked for. They have a joint line of credit that she ran up to 48000.00 and has never paid, he has and still does make payments on it. She would take out a cash advance everytime he made a payment to keep it maxed. We fought a lot back then because he is too trusting and passive. Things changed in 2013 when he moved into my house.
While I worked 2 jobs to pay my mortgage and support my kids, he continued to generously pay her dividends and pay for everything for the ex and his kids. Which is wonderfully responsible of him, and a bit too kind. While he lived on credit cards and lines of credit. He also continued to pay her spousal RSP and he solely paid into an RESP! When he asked her to put the house up for sale in 2013, she simply stated "no". Since then he's been forced into litigation. There are no custody disputes, in fact one child is an adult and doesn't live at home (but he is ordered to pay child support for summer months). The kids no longer want contact with him due to another long story.
He retained a lawyer who told him to continue to pay everything and give dividends. He heard nothing else from the lawyer until he stopped paying for her cell phone. Then started the battle...
He had no success getting her to sell the house with the first lawyer, so he just continued to pay. Her requests were for 15000 per month, plus the vehicle and house. His SSAG mid range for his income is about $8000 per month with support for 2 children. He's had case conferences, settlement conferences, long motions and fast forward to 2017, They had sold the matrimonial home in which she received exactly half of the proceeds and everything in it, even though he had paid the past 5 years into it. He has been forced by court order to continue to pay for his vehicle while she maintains possession of it. No one has addressed the joint line of credit that he still pays for. The 2nd lawyer was just fired because my husband has used all his money to pay for lawyers who have gotten him nowhere. She works full time making 45000 per year but took an office job that pays less than what she would be paid if she worked in her profession. She bought herself a new home and has a new partner living with her. She receives $8000 per month and is still asking for more. He had paid her diligently without any order for 5 years, and when the house sold, she wanted him to pay the equivalent of the mortgage and insurance (another 4500). He wanted his vehicle back, or offered that she take over payments. Instead, her lawyer threatened to have FRO garnish his wages for the dividend and mortgage/insurance amounts and after a motion, she won that plus costs. Trial dates had been postponed because no judges were available in 2015 and 2016.
So, here we are now. His half of the money from the house went to pay most of his debts. He still pays the joint LOC which has $47000 owing, He still pays for his vehicle that is in her possession even though she has purchased another vehicle, He pays $5500 per month ss, and $2500 per month for 1 18 yr old and summer months for an adult child who doesn't live at home. FRO is garnishing 50% of his GROSS income, as his lawyer told him to hold off paying support until an order was made which was in Feb 2017....now he's $40000 behind.
I'm really saddened as he has worked hard all his life and has absolutely nothing to show for it. He is 59 and she is 43. I guess he won't be retiring anytime soon. We live within our means, drive old vehicles that are paid off and still work crazy shifts. He has a settlement conference coming up in which he will have to represent himself. He is a very humble, sweet man but he is easily taken advantage of. She still wants more money. He speaks ESL and has difficulty understanding many statements and she and her lawyer know that. He has spent over $150000 in lawyers fees to get him to this point. There is nothing left in the corporation because he used it for lawyers fees to try to get her to sell the house and try to come to an agreement. He wants to pay his child support for 1 who is living at home, and spousal support at a lower amount as he has significantly overpaid and was left with all debt. They were married 16 years. He has been paying for over 6 years. The only way out of this is to pay her everything she wants even though unreasonable, or he will be dragged into trial at some point.
Sorry for the long, tedious post. This story has a lot more where he has been taken advantage of. I'm just tired and don't know what to do at this point. Any ideas would be appreciated.
My spouse's ex left him for another man in 2011. My husband left the matrimonial home and rented an apartment. He took only his personal belongings from the home. At the time of separation he had 2 kids aged 12 and 15, and an ex who was qualified in her profession, but chose not to work.
I met my husband a year and a half after his separation.
He is self employed and has a professional corporation. The ex continued to receive a substantial amount of monthly dividends ($7000 per month) plus my husband continued to pay ALL expenses including mortgage, insurance, household bills, even all cell phones. My husband has only ever worked and did not have a support network of any kind, so he spent time with the ex and her boyfriend and continued to visit them all at the matrimonial home. After the separation, she talked him into buying a brand new vehicle for her to drive. It is solely in his name, and to this day, he still pays 950 per month for it while his vehicle is falling apart. When we started dating, the ex would constantly ask him for money for a new fridge, or car repairs etc. He would always give her whatever she asked for. They have a joint line of credit that she ran up to 48000.00 and has never paid, he has and still does make payments on it. She would take out a cash advance everytime he made a payment to keep it maxed. We fought a lot back then because he is too trusting and passive. Things changed in 2013 when he moved into my house.
While I worked 2 jobs to pay my mortgage and support my kids, he continued to generously pay her dividends and pay for everything for the ex and his kids. Which is wonderfully responsible of him, and a bit too kind. While he lived on credit cards and lines of credit. He also continued to pay her spousal RSP and he solely paid into an RESP! When he asked her to put the house up for sale in 2013, she simply stated "no". Since then he's been forced into litigation. There are no custody disputes, in fact one child is an adult and doesn't live at home (but he is ordered to pay child support for summer months). The kids no longer want contact with him due to another long story.
He retained a lawyer who told him to continue to pay everything and give dividends. He heard nothing else from the lawyer until he stopped paying for her cell phone. Then started the battle...
He had no success getting her to sell the house with the first lawyer, so he just continued to pay. Her requests were for 15000 per month, plus the vehicle and house. His SSAG mid range for his income is about $8000 per month with support for 2 children. He's had case conferences, settlement conferences, long motions and fast forward to 2017, They had sold the matrimonial home in which she received exactly half of the proceeds and everything in it, even though he had paid the past 5 years into it. He has been forced by court order to continue to pay for his vehicle while she maintains possession of it. No one has addressed the joint line of credit that he still pays for. The 2nd lawyer was just fired because my husband has used all his money to pay for lawyers who have gotten him nowhere. She works full time making 45000 per year but took an office job that pays less than what she would be paid if she worked in her profession. She bought herself a new home and has a new partner living with her. She receives $8000 per month and is still asking for more. He had paid her diligently without any order for 5 years, and when the house sold, she wanted him to pay the equivalent of the mortgage and insurance (another 4500). He wanted his vehicle back, or offered that she take over payments. Instead, her lawyer threatened to have FRO garnish his wages for the dividend and mortgage/insurance amounts and after a motion, she won that plus costs. Trial dates had been postponed because no judges were available in 2015 and 2016.
So, here we are now. His half of the money from the house went to pay most of his debts. He still pays the joint LOC which has $47000 owing, He still pays for his vehicle that is in her possession even though she has purchased another vehicle, He pays $5500 per month ss, and $2500 per month for 1 18 yr old and summer months for an adult child who doesn't live at home. FRO is garnishing 50% of his GROSS income, as his lawyer told him to hold off paying support until an order was made which was in Feb 2017....now he's $40000 behind.
I'm really saddened as he has worked hard all his life and has absolutely nothing to show for it. He is 59 and she is 43. I guess he won't be retiring anytime soon. We live within our means, drive old vehicles that are paid off and still work crazy shifts. He has a settlement conference coming up in which he will have to represent himself. He is a very humble, sweet man but he is easily taken advantage of. She still wants more money. He speaks ESL and has difficulty understanding many statements and she and her lawyer know that. He has spent over $150000 in lawyers fees to get him to this point. There is nothing left in the corporation because he used it for lawyers fees to try to get her to sell the house and try to come to an agreement. He wants to pay his child support for 1 who is living at home, and spousal support at a lower amount as he has significantly overpaid and was left with all debt. They were married 16 years. He has been paying for over 6 years. The only way out of this is to pay her everything she wants even though unreasonable, or he will be dragged into trial at some point.
Sorry for the long, tedious post. This story has a lot more where he has been taken advantage of. I'm just tired and don't know what to do at this point. Any ideas would be appreciated.
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