Divorce & Child Support ! Please Help !

[arabian]

In another thread "ignorance" of the law is considered by some to be a valid change of circumstances.

Why then, would not "ignorance" of the law, regarding child support as it relates to divorce, also be a valid point to consider?

[tdog]

A real father doesn't disappear from their kids life. A real father will take them to the park and kick a soccer ball with them , will sit down and watch barney , teletubies, dora , bratz. A real parent will be able to sing all the songs and will even dance when the video is being watched for the hundredth time .

Give me a fucking break.

[Sweetie79]

I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.

Janus,
I understand what you are saying. However he is not JUST my latest sexual partner.
I met him a few months after I split from my ex. We moved in together a few months after that. He is not the bio father but he has been the one helping me raise them for the past 12 years. He is a dad to my kids. He has been there through thick and thin for me and for my kids. He is an awesome, kind-hearted man. He has never tried to "play dad" if you know what I mean. He never interfered with the kids relationship with bio father and neither have I.
Life is what it is. It's normal for the kids to love him and respect him.

[stripes]

The fact that he owes retroactive CS shouldn't stop the divorce from proceeding. Having CS ordered and having CS actually paid are two different things handled by two different bureaucracies. The court will make an order for CS as part of your divorce. If he isn't paying it, you have the opportunity to engage another bureaucracy (FRO in Ontario, MEP in Alberta, other names in other places ...) to collect on the amount owing. You can decide whether you really want to push the collection process or whether you want to just leave it alone. You can still get divorced.

You also don't need to justify why you want to get divorced or what role the kids' father has played (or not played) over the past years. They're teenagers now so it's all water under the bridge.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Sweetie...lol, you don't have to respond to stupidity. You have to understand that there is a group of very bitter men here who loathe women...especially ones who move on happily with their lives with good men.

Clearly your new husband has stepped into the role of fathering your children and thank goodness for him. I have a new husband who's had to make up for the deficiencies of their biological father...and such men deserve nothing but praise. And women who get out of bad relationships and do better for themselves and their kids the second time around deserve credit for getting wise and getting their lives together. You don't have to explain yourself or justify trying to do the right thing to anyone. Being a parent is a role...its one that you've fulfilled and unfortunately their other biological parent hasn't. When that happens, the best thing you can do for your child is find a better substitute that can help meet those needs...and that's what you've done.

Bottom line, you can definitely get divorced without the CS issue being solved. You're past the effective separation point and there's no reason why your divorce can't be finalized.

Go see a lawyer who can walk you through the required paperwork. Personally, I'd shop around and find the cheapest possible one because you have an easy file.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Pursuinghappiness]

He probably didn't think he could get more. That type of order was probably the norm back then.

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Do you just come to this site to insult women?

Honestly if you hate women this much...why don't you just do us a favor and stop responding to female posts.

Because bottom line, women aren't coming here to be harassed by someone of your ilk and surely you have something better to do....i.e. therapy.

[rockscan]

People: theres a handy little button called IGNORE. Use it, love it, move on.

Also: stop feeding the trolls.

[LovingFather32]

You have to understand that there is a group of very bitter men here who loathe women...especially ones who move on happily with their lives with good men.

Geez, I hope I'm not included in your group of bitter men. I replied to this poster too, but had a different stance. I go by details given .. not gender.

[trinton]

Do you just come to this site to insult women?

Honestly if you hate women this much...why don't you just do us a favor and stop responding to female posts.

Because bottom line, women aren't coming here to be harassed by someone of your ilk and surely you have something better to do....i.e. therapy.

How was that an insult to her by any means?

Though I certainly think and feel your post amounts to an insult.

Nice try though.



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[Ange71727]

No, she should definitely get child support, I would file for CS in her position, it is pretty much a slam dunk.

I get the impression that she wants the divorce more than the CS. I think she can get both with not much of a fight at all.

Get CS ordered, get the divorce, and then let FRO fight with the father to extract some money from him. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, no real loss compared to the current situation.

I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.

She clearly stated that she's been with him for 12 years so this isn't a latest sexual partner. I wouldn't worry about the CS even though you could get it. Anything to be done this mess quicker I would say.



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[Janus]

She has to go to trial. She won't get it all if she delayed persuing it knowing the current amound wasn't being paid. Almost as if she was guilty of keeping children in poverty by not doing anything about it.

Trinton, sometimes I feel like you are randomly spouting words.

They won't punish a parent for not seeking CS by denying further CS or denying a divorce. It doesn't make any sense.

"You didn't seek CS, which hurt the child, so we are going to deny further CS to the child. We are also going to deny the divorce, to help the child"

Where do you come up with this stuff?

[paris]

Isn't there already an order for child support? You said he is in arrears and FRO has previously suspended his license.

Use the original CS order to get your divorce.

[Sweetie79]

Isn't there already an order for child support? You said he is in arrears and FRO has previously suspended his license.

Use the original CS order to get your divorce.

Thank you Paris,
Yes you are correct, there is a previous order that dealt with custody and cs.
I filled for divorce yesterday. A court clerk explained to me how the process works. I have to serve the ex and swear an affidavit of service. 30 days after he is served if he doesn't respond/contest ( He won't), I have to file another batch of papers. Form 36 being one of them.

Question 11 of form 36 is as follow:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ I don't know per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ I don't know as I don't receive any per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7
expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Thank you Paris,
Yes you are correct, there is a previous order that dealt with custody and cs.
I filled for divorce yesterday. A court clerk explained to me how the process works. I have to serve the ex and swear an affidavit of service. 30 days after he is served if he doesn't respond/contest ( He won't), I have to file another batch of papers. Form 36 being one of them.

Question 11 of form 36 is as follow:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ I don't know per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ I don't know as I don't receive any per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7
expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

I would use the original numbers for a,b,c and for d) use none and list his arrears amount.

You have an order and you're not going to get an updated order unless he supplies new financial information...taxes, paystub....so you have to use what you had at the time of your agreement. Nor are you asking for a financial disclosure to update your previous agreement.

I don't see an issue here. You have an agreement and arrears don't hold up divorce actions. Now if you didn't have an order at all..that would be an unresolved issue and I can see the clerk's point. But that isn't the case.

[Sweetie79]

I don't see an issue here. You have an agreement and arrears don't hold up divorce actions. Now if you didn't have an order at all..that would be an unresolved issue and I can see the clerk's point. But that isn't the case.

Thank You !
I have been sitting, wondering if I would have to go through a huge messy process just to be able to get my divorce finalized !