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Sole Custody - Controlling ex,mental health

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Janus View Post
    The way I read it was that there were two court orders.

    A: First court order (says Dad has primary residential)
    B: Second court order (says Mom has primary residential)
    I didn't read B as a court order but a friendly agreement more. So that may be where the gap lies. I am sure that A is true based on what I read but, the information is so scattered and fragmented B could be true as well. But, considering the result given I think it is safe to assume that A is the court order and B was a friendly agreement. As B would surely trump A and require the child to be returned to the new residential location.

    Originally posted by Janus View Post
    Upon reread it might be possible that only court order A existed, and that mother ran away with kid in contravention of court order and father just returned kid to proper location.
    This is my assumption. The father returned the child to the proper location in a very crafty fashion rather than just taking the child and running back. (It took 2 months to complete the transfer.) I suspect a lawyer was directing this parent's action. Not many people know how to do this without significant drama and disruption.

    Originally posted by Janus View Post
    I was confused because the OP had described it as a wrong by the father, which implied to me that there was a court order giving the mother day to day care that the father has sneaked around.
    Yes, the OP was trying to imply (in my opinion) that the father was abducting the child. Hence my comments about it all trying to explain the possible scenarios.

    Without the OP being honest and open no one can ever tell what the real story is on a anonymous website where people use silly names like Tayken and Janus.

    Good Luck!


    • #32
      Also a very good reference on how to proper write about mental health:

      Be specific. Mental illness is a general condition.Specific disorders are types of mental illness and should be used whenever possible (see below for a brief list and definitions of common disorders).

      Preferred: He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
      Not preferred: He was mentally ill
      Avoid derogatory language. Terms such as psycho, crazy and junkie should not be used. In addition, avoid words like “suffering” or “victim” when discussing those who have mental health challenges.

      Preferred: She has a mental health illness. She has a substance use disorder.
      Not preferred: She suffers from mental illness. She’s a drug abuser.
      Also very important:

      People with mental illnesses are no more likely to be violent than those without a mental health disorder. In fact, those with mental illness are 10 times more likely to be the victims of violent crime.
      The US has done an excellent job on changing the terminology into mental health vs mental illness. For example:

      We are behind in Canada but, there are going to be changes soon.

      Good Luck!


      • #33
        I don't work for the military, but the idea that I might made me laugh - it feels like it on some days!

        As for the whole mental health/mental illness thing - not to beat this into the ground, but in my world, both terms are used (appropriately). "Mental health" refers to a variable state - your mental health can be good or not so good, improving or declining, stable or unstable. It's like your economic status or overall well-being.

        "Mental illness" refers to significant dysfunctions or disorders which can be acute or chronic, like other illnesses. The debate about what should be considered a mental illness goes on and on - in a similar way, I'm sure you're familiar with the controversies that attend each revision of the DSM, in which some diagnoses appear and others disappear each time it's revised.

        With respect to the mysterious clinician's note - without cutting and pasting (which is not something I'd do on the internet) I can say that it is possible and professionally responsible to create a document which does not contain confidential medical information but does indicate the possible consequences of the medical conditions of the individual who is the subject of the note. Doctors do this sort of thing with respect to whether people should or should not retain their drivers' licenses, similarly people in HR departments often get doctors' notes to support an employee's request for medical leave or adapted duties which do not go into medical details - the notes refer to whether or not in the clinicians' opinion it is advisable for the employee to have particular accommodations.

        I have no idea what the status of such notes would be in family court or how seriously they would be taken by a judge - my point in bringing it up is that child safety is not a simple binary: either CAS has an open investigation, or there's no safety issue at all and the parent with concerns is being excessive. There are in-between states and ways of documenting in-between states. Again, I have no idea what a court would make of these in-between states.


        • #34
          Not that this is relevant to the discussion....

          My ex and his g/f have often tried lame excuses to get out of paying support by statements and hand-written notes from family doctors. Each and every time they have done this it has gotten them nowhere. Judge notes absence of formal diagnosis backed up by laboratory results which are readily available to physicians on Alberta NetCare. If a matter were ever to go to a trial the physician who wrote the "note" would of course be a) vetted as to qualifications to appear as an expert witness and b) if he was accepted as an expert witness he would be examined with his report as well as clinical notes. Physicians are aware of this standard procedure and I suspect this is why few end up on the witness stand.


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