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  • #31
    So he is totally unreasonable and inflexible. So read your SA and inform him you will adhere to the exact terms. Friday is off the table.

    Do not have any more discussions on making changes, being his backup. Stick with the parental plan in place.

    End of discussion.

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    • #32
      The daycare staff have a job to do. They don't want to be caught between squabbling parents. It's disruptive to the whole daycare centre to have a situation in which parent A drops the kid off and parent B shows up an hour later to take the kid out without telling parent A.

      My understanding from having been on daycare boards is that they cannot prevent a parent with legal custody from removing a child, unless they have a court order which names the daycare specifically. However, they can make it clear that you and your ex bickering is not wanted on their premises, which is what they're doing here. If they've gone to the extent to telling you not to come to the building on Mondays, obviously they've identified both of you as a problem.

      Leave the daycare out of it, don't pick up the kid except at the time when your order says you pick up the kid.

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      • #33
        Also, if you had shared 50/50 custody, you would go days without seeing your kids. This isnt any different. Nor is it different from having access where you dont see your kids until every other weekend. Pick your battles. Would you want your kid to be at daycare when another kids parents are fighting over access? Its disruptive and unnecessary. Yes your husband is being unreasonable but its not worth the fight. All it does is put your kid in the middle. Its his day and he decides what happens on his day. Let it go.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by SuzieSunshine View Post
          So today is Monday and I do not start work until 3pm. I thought it would be great to spend the day with my daughter before I went into work. I have not seen her since Friday at 8am.

          I called the daycare and asked if dad dropped her off so I could come pick her up. They said yes, but said they would not release her to me.

          I asked why, they said they have a court order (aka our signed agreement) and that they met with dad and he informed them that Monday is his day, even when he is at work at that he is not to release her to me without his permission.

          I was shocked, can a daycare really prevent a joint custody parent from seeing their child? All the agreement says is that he is responsible to get her to daycare. It does not say that Monday is "his" day (so possessive, since when are children possessions?)

          It also says he is to pick her up on Monday after work from daycare.

          So how is it that daycare can act as the law? Is it bad of me to go it, take her and leave? Can they do anything to stop me?

          If I go in with the police, will they not release her to me?
          I don't believe the daycare has legal authority to prevent you from picking up the child. However, I strongly feel you should not interfere with the daycare arrangement. Let the kid have her day in the daycare, play with friends and enjoy the activities. It would be disruptive and disturbing for the child(as well as for the daycare) to be dropped off by dad than picked up by mom right after. All that because mom wants to see her. Let the kid have her day, enjoy you 'child free ' time, do something you would like to do for yourself and reunite happily when it is the time .

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