My daughter is now a teen, Dad wants 50/50 access

[momwithteendaughter]

About a month and a half ago I had served my daughter's father a motion for support. (disclosure of finances and extraordinary expenses, and requesting for retroactive pay. (Court date: Feb 4) We have a court order which states that she visits her dad every other weekend. Now her dad wants to change the access to 50/50. He has discussed this with her and she is would also like access to be changed. Long story short, he is the 'Fun Dad" the one who buys her everything and no rules at the house. At our home, there are responsibilities such as chores. Because she is 16 decision is heavily weighed on what the 16 year wants therefore chances of him getting access change is high. I am okay with that as I would never want to interfere with her relationship with her father. It's been over 30 days since he has been served. I haven't received a response from him or a letter from his lawyer (I am self represented). He has also defaulted in support payments as of Jan 1st/2016. My questions are:
1) Does he not need to file a motion to change access?
2) If he has a lawyer, would I not have heard from lawyer yet?
3) Is it true that her father will be granted the 50/50 access right away?
4) We have a court date set for Feb 4th - I had put motion to change for support, during that date can he raise access etc or would that be a separate case?

I am am not sure exactly what to expect. I know that her father is well aware that due to her age, she is able to make decision with where she wants to live. Any and All Advice welcome. Thank you.

[Janus]

Now her dad wants to change the access to 50/50. He has discussed this with her and she is would also like access to be changed. Because she is 16 decision is heavily weighed on what the 16 year wants therefore chances of him getting access change is high. I am okay with that as I would never want to interfere with her relationship with her father.

Are you planning on fighting the shared custody? Even if you are self-represented you could end up paying costs if you lose.

He has also defaulted in support payments as of Jan 1st/2016.

I don't think it is even considered to be a default until it is 30 days late. You will get the money eventually. You will likely get retroactive to at least the time you served the motion too.

Has your daughter actually started living with the dad 50% of the time? If so, child support should be changed to reflect that, which you can do on consent.

My questions are, does he not need to file a motion to change access?

Unless he wants arrears to start building up, he probably should .

To be fair, my lawyer handled the procedural stuff. When you serve a motion, how is the date to hear the motion set? Can you just set a date unilaterally? I imagine that once a date is set he will have to respond or he is unlikely to win.

[momwithteendaughter]

We have shared custody and NO I am not planning on fighting the shared access.

She hasn't technically started living 50% with her dad. On Jan 9th he decided to keep her for a full week. I had her accordance to our order prior to that. I don't believe the true 50% would reflect until Feb 2016.

Thank you for the head up about the 30 days. (good to know)

I served the motion back in November, I've been given different answers, I have been told my date on Feb 4th is to see a law clerk. And I've also been advise I will be seeing a Judge that day.. I am unsure. I am going to see Duty Counsel tomorrow for some legal advise. As of today there is still no response. I'll keep you posted. Thank you.

[LovingFather32]

Write up a little agreement with him .. and a 50/50 schedule and do what's best for everybody (and what everybody wants) .. maximum contact. This is a no-brainer.

You injected money in to the equation rather quickly .. be careful not to confuse money with access.

LF32

[momwithteendaughter]

Hi LF32
It all started when I had served him with motion for support. Then the 50/50 access was raised. And I completely agree with you in efforts to agree to a 50/50 schedule. I want to ensure all is done in the best interest of our daughter ensuring she has healthy relationship with both her father and myself. I had also offered mediation to him however he has declined my offer. I did not raise support after the subject of 50/50.

Thank you.

[Links17]

You don't seen to realize that 50/50 means offset child support.

[momwithteendaughter]

Links17. I am fully aware that support changes when access changes and I am comfortable with that. I amtrying to prepare myself and have been waiting for his motion for access. As for my original motions or support is completely separate from the access change. The support is for previous years while I had our daughter almost 100% of time. Thanks

[mcdreamy]

You injected money in to the equation rather quickly .. be careful not to confuse money with access. LF32

You don't seen to realize that 50/50 means offset child support.

Funny how that works, when someone is served with a motion for disclosure, teenagers are convinced to switch houses. Makes you wonder why the other party wouldn't have been disclosing financials and updating on an annual basis. Unless they were trying to avoid paying cs, of course.

[mcdreamy]

OP, you would actually be an excellent candidate for a settlement agreement.

Have you considered drafting an offer, without prejudice, that confirms the custody to date, full disclosure and payment of the corrected past cs and then, effectively Feb 1st, moving onto shared? That would certainly be the settlement offer I sent now, with a deadline of acceptance, pre-motion.

[momwithteendaughter]

I didn't know that was an option but definitely something to consider. I have offered mediation etc and he has declined. I will definitely look into it. Thank you.

[momwithteendaughter]

Curious... How long did you give to accept/decline offer?