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  • Birth certificate and her items

    Thank you for the amazing resources on this forum.
    I tried to find this topic but nothing was definitive.

    My STBX is asking for B3 birthday birth certificate. She has a photo copy and is asking for the original.
    Do I have to give it to her?

    She's asking for her items. Which I don't mind giving back but I. Don't want to deal with her in a private setting. All her items are in storages, not even at my parent's house. I asked her what exactly but she doesn't even know what items and clothing.

    Lastly, we'll have our 2nd court date in a month. Initially she wasn't allowing me to meet my son. her lawyer advised her it would be in her best interests to let him see me only for 6 hours biweekly, kind of babysitting while she's at work. Even the times are what she said. I have to drive 1-1.5 hours right by her house. So i get late by 20-30 minutes depending on traffic, weather but usually on the way back. So now she's saying if im late even when dropping she will forfeit this agreement and not let me see him.

    What should I say for all these, are there due processes?

    Thank you for your time

  • #2
    Stop being late. Leave sooner if you have too. That's an easy one to solve.

    Give her items back, that has already been told to you, your story changes because first you said the items are at your parents and now you are saying a storage unit. If they are in storage meet her at this public location and let her get her items... why is that so hard?

    If she has majority access why do you have his birth certificate. .. that part makes no sense... you haven't met you son until recently but have his birth certificate?

    Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk

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    • #3
      Berner_Faith. All you're doing is giving your opinion while making accusative statements without stating what the proper due process is. I kindly request please do not respond to my posts as you jump to conclusions without clarifying what you clearly are not understanding. Thank you

      Comment


      • #4
        I am commenting on the info you are providing... if you know you have to have the kid back at a certain time, leave sooner so you can do this. Why do you want to keep her stuff? You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

        You don't like what I am saying because it's not what you want to hear. You want to hear that you can be late, keep her stuff and not provide the birth certificate. But that's not the case. You are not trying to help yourself and are asking the same questions over again because you didn't like the answers the first time. Other posters offered advice but you didn't take it.

        Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk

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        • #5
          Berner Faith has a point - where is the personal property located?

          If your ex summons the police you will be told that you have to render her property to her, although your ex would (in that scenario) have to provide the police with a detailed list of the property which she wished to obtain. Police would then likely tell her/you to go through your family lawyers.

          If you are afraid of your ex then perhaps consider sending the storage key to your ex in a taxi (this is assuming that you have no personal property in the storage locker).

          If you need clarification simply call your local police/RCMP detachment and ask for their guidance in the matter.

          Comment


          • #6
            here is a blurb about personal property - I do not necessarily endorse the article but it does have a good idea about having a 3rd party present with someone is picking up their property (we don't know from your posts where the "personal property" is located).

            https://www.educaloi.qc.ca/en/capsul...ter-separation


            Please note the part about talking to the police.....

            This whole thing will pale in comparison with what you have ahead of you in terms of parenting time, child support, etc. Your actions will undoubtedly be used against you (ex will try) if you do not conduct yourself in a honourable manner. So therefore be advised that being a dink about giving your ex her stuff will only come back to bite you in the arse.....

            All the best!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by bmw1122 View Post
              Thank you for the amazing resources on this forum.
              I tried to find this topic but nothing was definitive.

              My STBX is asking for B3 birthday birth certificate. She has a photo copy and is asking for the original.
              Do I have to give it to her?

              She's asking for her items. Which I don't mind giving back but I. Don't want to deal with her in a private setting. All her items are in storages, not even at my parent's house. I asked her what exactly but she doesn't even know what items and clothing.

              Lastly, we'll have our 2nd court date in a month. Initially she wasn't allowing me to meet my son. her lawyer advised her it would be in her best interests to let him see me only for 6 hours biweekly, kind of babysitting while she's at work. Even the times are what she said. I have to drive 1-1.5 hours right by her house. So i get late by 20-30 minutes depending on traffic, weather but usually on the way back. So now she's saying if im late even when dropping she will forfeit this agreement and not let me see him.

              What should I say for all these, are there due processes?

              Thank you for your time
              On the birth certificate, each parent has a right to have an use it as needed. As there can only be one it must be shared between the parents. Ideally the child's documents travel with the children, or if one parent for some bizarre reason feels they have some kind of ownership of the documents they would at minimum provide them to the other parent on request. If you really can't sort out sharing it amongst yourselves then swap the documents annually by even /odd years as the primary holder.


              Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
              Stop being late. Leave sooner if you have too. That's an easy one to solve.

              Give her items back, that has already been told to you, your story changes because first you said the items are at your parents and now you are saying a storage unit. If they are in storage meet her at this public location and let her get her items... why is that so hard?

              If she has majority access why do you have his birth certificate. .. that part makes no sense... you haven't met you son until recently but have his birth certificate?

              Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk
              Agreed. Give her her things back. All of them. Why bother trying to sort through it and dole out individual items? It's hers, give her all of it. You have no need to be in her presence to exchange her belongings. Make them available and have a third party meet there to meet her. Problem solved.

              As for being late, you've agreed to the time, be on time. No, it's not fair that she'd threaten to remove access for you being late. But that's pretty much what you've agreed to so go to court and have a proper schedule set, and in the meantime....show up on time.

              Originally posted by bmw1122 View Post
              Berner_Faith. All you're doing is giving your opinion while making accusative statements without stating what the proper due process is. I kindly request please do not respond to my posts as you jump to conclusions without clarifying what you clearly are not understanding. Thank you
              That's not really the way public forums work. Everyone is welcome to post their thoughts, opinions and advice as long as it is done respectfully - even if you don't agree with it. And anyone can post on any thread, as long as it is done respectfully.

              The more information you give, the more detailed responses you will get.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                Berner Faith has a point - where is the personal property located?

                If your ex summons the police you will be told that you have to render her property to her, although your ex would (in that scenario) have to provide the police with a detailed list of the property which she wished to obtain. Police would then likely tell her/you to go through your family lawyers.

                If you are afraid of your ex then perhaps consider sending the storage key to your ex in a taxi (this is assuming that you have no personal property in the storage locker).

                If you need clarification simply call your local police/RCMP detachment and ask for their guidance in the matter.
                Thank you. Appreciate your answer

                I am at my parents' house. They put the house on sale 3-4 months ago. She had some stuff but very very few items. I do not want to keep them. It's all clothing. Very old clothing. I've asked her again and again which items so I can make sure there are in the home else in a storage and I can bring it out. I've said I can drop it in a public place or mail it. She doesn't answer but keeps repeating I want my stuff. She will make some sort of drama.
                I'll try again to send her items. Thats a good idea, I will try to ask the police as well, thanks.

                As for being late. I have a back injury and I cannot sit in a car for that long. Simply saying leave early is well....common sense. Things happen even when you leave early.. accidents, the weather wasn't the best. Its not like I'm trying to make things difficult as some people know how to look into ones intent.
                So i get him for 6 hours in 14 days, and I'm the one who drives to her area. She refuses to change the timings as nothing official has been set...

                She hasn't sent her answer, and we've already had a 1st court date. Is she obliged to give a Reply if court date has already occurred? Thank you

                Comment


                • #9
                  You seem to be making the issue of her belongings very complicated. Surely you can tell the difference between her clothes and yours....?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When I kicked my ex out of the house and changed the security codes I made sure that I removed all of his personal property and put it in a location that he could easily retrieve (there was alot of stuff).

                    Shortly thereafter (within a few weeks) I received a call from the police department. My ex had filed a report that I was denying him his personal property. I was astounded. Turned out that my ex's g/f had personal property in one of the trucks (we owned a trucking company) in one of the big rigs. Police made ex make a detailed list of the alleged property and I had to make sure that he received it. The "property" what my ex determined to be "sentimental" tools as well as children's articles (he had a young girlfriend LOL). It was insane really. However I had to comply. The children's toys and the old tools from a toolbox in a particular semi were made available to him. My 60 year old ex got his stuff and it cost me probably in the range of 2k for me to make these arrangements through my lawyer (I was a newby to divorce).

                    Give her the shit and don't look back - advice from an old warrior.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Regarding you being late ....

                      make sure you always communicate with your ex via email.

                      I don't think it's kosher for her to deny you access because you're late, particularly because of travel/distance.

                      I was married to a very crafty ahole but fortunately didn't have to deal with child custody stuff. From what I've read on here DOCUMENTATION IS ESSENTIAL. "he said/she said" doesn't stand up in court. Your the male so courts automatically nowadays think your're a deadbeat. You have to have an impeccable, provable record of everything. Never leave yourself open for false accusations. CYA (cover your ass) in all things.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                        You seem to be making the issue of her belongings very complicated. Surely you can tell the difference between her clothes and yours....?
                        I was away last year in the US. She was at her parents. Nothing had happend then.
                        She came by 2-3 times and took many of her items. That is why I don't know what she means by that because she's already taken her stuff. There's old clothes that I want to give her, but she's making it seem like she's never come and has left everything there.
                        I just want to make sure there isn't anything I keep that she'll accuse me of. Tbh, i have no right over her stuff. I simply do not want it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          When I kicked my ex out of the house and changed the security codes I made sure that I removed all of his personal property and put it in a location that he could easily retrieve (there was alot of stuff).

                          Shortly thereafter (within a few weeks) I received a call from the police department. My ex had filed a report that I was denying him his personal property. I was astounded. Turned out that my ex's g/f had personal property in one of the trucks (we owned a trucking company) in one of the big rigs. Police made ex make a detailed list of the alleged property and I had to make sure that he received it. The "property" what my ex determined to be "sentimental" tools as well as children's articles (he had a young girlfriend LOL). It was insane really. However I had to comply. The children's toys and the old tools from a toolbox in a particular semi were made available to him. My 60 year old ex got his stuff and it cost me probably in the range of 2k for me to make these arrangements through my lawyer (I was a newby to divorce).

                          Give her the shit and don't look back - advice from an old warrior.
                          Thank you its very informative. That is what she is actually doing. Just saying "hey can i come tomorrow and pick up the stuff".
                          All I did was say its such a short notice, i can bring it on a weekday. She replies that I'm denying her and she will contact her lawyer etc.

                          Should I take pictures and document it ? That these are the items I'm giving.
                          She visited me last year when I was in the US and left her suitcase because she was on standby and the flight she got there was no luggage space. She just simply left her luggage in the US and i don't want her to claim those things because I don't have them. all she owned is women's generic clothing, burqas etc

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post
                            Regarding you being late ....

                            make sure you always communicate with your ex via email.

                            I don't think it's kosher for her to deny you access because you're late, particularly because of travel/distance.

                            I was married to a very crafty ahole but fortunately didn't have to deal with child custody stuff. From what I've read on here DOCUMENTATION IS ESSENTIAL. "he said/she said" doesn't stand up in court. Your the male so courts automatically nowadays think your're a deadbeat. You have to have an impeccable, provable record of everything. Never leave yourself open for false accusations. CYA (cover your ass) in all things.
                            I do text her while on the way that I've left and if there's a jam, I keep updating her. Or there's an accident.
                            I see what you mean though, things are already stacking up and its best to try to everything properly. Appreciate the tips

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hope you are paying the appropriate amount of child support. If not, get that up-to-date asap. Others on here can give advice about it.

                              Hope everything works out for you. Remember that everything has a consequence. Beware of knee-jerk reactions which may feel good at the time.... you will surely pay for them in the end.

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