new to this

[GWILDER]

Hello I am new to this and I know I haven't gone about it in the right way. I am sepf employed and my gross income is about $45K a year and next probably around $33-36k, and havent done tax returns in 2 years and legal aid can't help me as no tax returns.

I have two sons 4 and 6. I was never married but lived witha guy the dad for 8 years. He would work when he wanted not to often and I would look after kids etc etc. I asked him to leave in April. AT the time he took all the money from our joint account moved in with his friend and then his cousin. He didn't work all summer just partied. He is now off work and has a doctor note saying he is depressed and can't work. He has aplied for legal aid but was turned down as no fixed permanent address.

I have a MIP session next week and understand that and a court date in a few weeks after. He is asking for 50/50 with the kids when he would usually take them one day a week and when he did get more , and during the week. He picks them up at my place at 5 then brings them back in the morning for me to dress them and make there lunch. He has contributed around $80 in the 9 months and I supply the clothes etc. He has told me he wants them 50/50 and gloats i will have to pay him child support.

Would a judge really give 50/50 to a person who has no place, no job , going thru depression, smokes pot a lot, I am having trrouble finding a lawyer as I can afford 250-400 an hour.

Just looking for advice financially, emotionally etc what to expect. If I really thought he was a good dad capable of giving them kids what they needed. I would. He is doing it as he thinks with ODSP and support he will have money to party and not work.

thanks

[PeacefulMoments]

Not 100% sure, but I think ODSP may deduct the support as I thinks it is at least in part needs based. If that is the case, and after he realizes that he still wants 50/50, then maybe he really does want the time with the kids.

[GWILDER]

I don't think he does, when he first left he wanted 3 on 3 off then 4 on 4 off. I said great he would take one day pick them up at the house after school ( 1 in school at the time) and take them home after I fed them and bring them back at 8 am for me to make breakfast make him his school lunch. Usually only one day then the odd time two days.

He wanted them three days this week so Monday Tues and Wed as court was coming up. I said ok. Same thinkg he is not working, but pick up at my house swears at me then takes kids and brings them back after so i can feed and make lunches. I told him in December they need snow boots. He went out bought a pair for them to wear at his house only

Would they ever make him pay me money to help with all the expenses I have had dealing with kids over the last 9 months

[Links17]

The court would give the kids to anybody, you have to prove he is what you say..

[GWILDER]

ok thanks, I have all the emails proof about not showing up etc, not working etc taking the money. The only thing I can prove is the wanting kids for money as he said that didnt email or text it.

[arabian]

I would suggest that you get your tax returns up-to-date. You can do them yourself if need be - not difficult. Download forms & guide online.

[Beachnana]

Ok. Well make a list.

You are all over the place with questions and issues.

1. Do your income tax. Takes 10 mins on My Tax express is $5 online and cheap. You can order any years and do your income tax. File it and then take your filing to legal aid to start the process.

2. Keep to the facts. You need Proof of allegations of bad parenting. And quite honestly he would have to be really bad for you to get sole.

3. Then make a reasonable parenting plan. Do not agree to anything you do not want. Example he cannot drop the kids off for you to get ready for school if you do not allow it.

4. Stop being a doormat and be firm on parenting schedule. If he does not make a pickup then you do it and document it.

Good luck

[arabian]

Beachnana and Links are correct in that you need to prove your financial situation.

Put yourself in the judge's position. He/she does not know you. Yours is not the only case that a judge will make decision on. Judge needs information. Saying you make "around $$$" just doesn't cut it. You need to be able to present proof of your income. You need to present documents to back up everything you say. Financial disclosure is the basis of most family law applications like it or not.

While tax returns are a pain, and aren't always an accurate reflection of income, tax returns are what judges look at to make basic decisions.

While it may take some time to receive the Notices of Assessment, you can at least provide proof that you did, indeed, file your income tax returns.

If you don't have your documents then don't expect a judge to make a decision.

[standing on the sidelines]

I would file the taxes right away. You could be getting hit with penalties (if you owe) and missing some tax rebates that you may be entitled to.

[Beachnana]

You could also ask to change the court date in lieu of your need to get a clear and accurate picture of your financial situation. Go to the judge with your taxes filed and your estimated results via a reputable program and the judge will either accept your numbers or defer his decision until you have assessments done.

[GWILDER]

Sorry about being all over the place . I am getting someone to do my taxes . They are self employed returns and need them done right in terms of deductions and write off percentages etc .

I am not looking at sole custody , we can have shared custody I don't want him having the kids living with him 50 % of the time . Msybe I'm being selfish but I don't think if he doesn't have his own place he can expect the kids to live with him
Snd his friends of cousins family etc .

I am being a doormat in a way . He took the family vehicle as I couldn't afford the payments insurance etc , I have told him notbyondrop off kids and to tske them to school and pick them up there but he doesn't they will be dropped off st 8 am on school day then he takes off , or he tells them he is coming on Tuesday them texts 25 minutes before tonsay he can't mske it . I have called the police as he will just walk into the house but basically they don't do anything as he's not physically abusive to me or kids .

Thanks for all the help. Again will
Get taxes done right away but don't have all the receipts , no excuse just head was in the clouds for s few years , starting to see snd think clearer . Legal did said they won't ever consider the request without tax returns , but don't know if it's returns of noticed of assessment as they take a whole lot longer