More section 7

[wls]

As for the income split for S7, I want to say kindly, get over it. You earn three time as much as your ex, but the children as just as much yours as they are hers. You should be carrying as much of the burden as she is, which means that the dollar figures from you will be higher because the number of dollars you have is also much higher. .

I don't make three times as much gross that is why I am asking if being self-employed makes a difference. You don't know the whole story in my situation so please don't tell me that I should carry as much of the burden as she does. Would you tell your children that they can't see dad this weekend because he isn't cooperating? My ex has and will again. This is the only reason I have been cooperative over a $15.00 guide fee since the stupid law can't/won't do anything about her keeping my children from me!!

[stripes]

I don't make three times as much gross that is why I am asking if being self-employed makes a difference. You don't know the whole story in my situation so please don't tell me that I should carry as much of the burden as she does. Would you tell your children that they can't see dad this weekend because he isn't cooperating? My ex has and will again. This is the only reason I have been cooperative over a $15.00 guide fee since the stupid law can't/won't do anything about her keeping my children from me!!

Your ex's behavior is bad, no question about it. She should not be refusing access because of a disagreement over S7 expenses, because that only hurts the children.

[HammerDad]

I don't make three times as much gross that is why I am asking if being self-employed makes a difference. You don't know the whole story in my situation so please don't tell me that I should carry as much of the burden as she does. Would you tell your children that they can't see dad this weekend because he isn't cooperating? My ex has and will again. This is the only reason I have been cooperative over a $15.00 guide fee since the stupid law can't/won't do anything about her keeping my children from me!!

There is a remedy for this, it is called contempt.

Should your ex ever pull this, you email them stating that you don't agree with their unilateral decision to withhold the children from exercising parenting time with you. That they are not permitted to unilaterally terminate parenting time without reasonable cause, and that a dispute over small amounts of money would not be considered reasonable cause. That you intend on exercising your parenting time as prescribed in the agreement. That should the children be unreasonably withheld, you will deem it a denial of your parenting time and will seek the appropriate remedy. You follow the email with a registered letter stating the exact same thing.

The first instance of the ex denying parenting time isn't going to get much traction in court. You have to prove a pattern. If there is a second or third instance, where you can prove you've been denied your parenting time, you file a motion in court for contempt. In your motion for contempt, you ask for makeup time and costs of the action. Should you have to file for contempt a second time, you ask for makeup time, an enforcement provision and costs of the action. If you have to file for contempt a third time, you ask for a change in custody as the ex is obviously unwilling to facilitate your relationship with the kids or failing that, a change in the amount of parenting time, an enforcement clause and costs.

But your ex doesn't get to withhold the kids because you won't play ball. If they do try it, ensure your are communicating with the ex via email so you can get their reasoning in writing. If they call you, you send an email back summarizing their call and stating your position on the matter. But make sure going forward you only communicate via email if at all possible.

[rockscan]

Wls, I do understand your situation as I watch a similar situation (albeit escalated) play out in my home daily. My partners kids were raised never being told no. After the divorce dad said no, mom said yes then cried broke because she couldnt say no. Two weeks ago an incredibly unreasonable and unfair request came in that included the activity providers lying to my partner ABOUT HIS OWN KID. There were calls to the privacy commissioner, his lawyer and FRO. Why? Because mom made a promise she suddenly was unable to keep and attempted to guilt and manipulate dad into saying yes. His kids refuse to speak to him because of these games but theyre old enough to say no and get away with it.

If you think an expense is unreasonable then dont agree. If your ex denies you access as a result, you take the appropriate action. $500 a year for one activity is not much. $5000 a year for expenses covered by cs is much. If youre going to put your foot down, do it now and keep it down. If your ex is going to take illegal action against you, you need to man up and deal with it.

You never did say if you had an agreement regarding these expenses. If you dont, get it spelled out clearly what an extra curricular expense will be and that they will be approved before hand.

[paris]

I think if extra curricular expenses were spelled out, then the OP may realize there are many other things that are covered and could use it to full advantage. $500 a year is cheap by my books.

My husband didn't have any extras specified in his agreement. Most of what he paid was for his older daughter. School trips, shoes, tutoring, and tampons. Those were the things his ex refused to pay for out of CS.

[rockscan]

See my partner has a list of items in his agreement for the year the divorce was signed. Since then the ex has made comments about how the kids didnt do that stuff the next year so he has to pay for whatever she wants. Her attitude is that list constitutes money he has to pay so she will get it in other ways. Not the case. Since then its been a battle of what she thinks is covered and what he says is CS. Things like school trips, application fees, dances, dresses etc. he just got the medicines and tampons demand.

Im agreeing that if OP doesnt think its legit he needs to speak up now. Kids grow up and out of different activities. Theres also legit expenses that should be covered. If his ex wants to play the "hide the kids because daddy is a monster game" then thats a separate issue that needs to be dealt with.
As my partners lawyer explained, s7 are never clear, you have to look at each persons income, the reasonableness of the expense and whether or not you could afford it while married. The problem was, his ex put them in serious debt signing the kids up willy nilly when married. The divorce gave him the freedom to say no to something he knew they couldnt afford. She said yes anyway and then the kids got involved because dad was a cheapskate jerk.

[wls]

I appreciate the responses regarding this but I am still not getting the answer I am looking for. She makes half as much as I do gross pay( maybe more)but she is self employed so after she does her taxes on line 150 she makes 1/4 of what I do. Because of this I end up paying for 75 percent of all s7 expenses. Why doesn't her gross pay not come into play when calculating s7 expenses.

To the other question regarding what the order states it is as agreed upon. Guides was something that both children were in before the break up. Things like this were not brought up in mediation so I guess it was assumed that this was a s7 and when I did say I couldn't afford it the threats, nasty phone calls and nasty emails would start. There is no compromise with my ex all she wants is more money. She just recently ask me is she could borrow a swim suit from me because our youngest daughter has swimming this week and out of the thousands of dollars in cs she receives I guess she can't afford a new swim suit but can purchase a brand new van. Yes I am bitter about things because she has everything and I lost all I had worked so hard for and will never have again.

[rockscan]

I appreciate the responses regarding this but I am still not getting the answer I am looking for..

Probably because what you want people to say isnt going to happen. What is in your agreement for income disclosure? Line 150? Then she has provided you with the right amount. Can you prove shes making more? No. She runs a business and therefore has costs to do so. The government of Canada accepts that as her income. Youll have to accept it and move on.

What does your agreement say about s7 expenses? You both agree on an expense before sharing it? Then thats your answer. You dont agree to guides you dont pay it. You also have to accept the unhappiness from your kids that you said no.

If you sit here waiting for posters to tell you what you want to hear youll be waiting a while. You got an answer. You got several answers. The real answer is that every situation is different and no two costs are the same.

[Beachnana]

These are your daughters. Contact the guide unit and work with the guiders so you can pay the camp and activity costs directly, therefore use the receipt for tax purposes. Ask about cookie sales. Be a super parent.

I am a guider and we always work with both parents to include and cooperate with unit activities. Stay involved. Guiders love involved parents.

I know this is a great program for daughters to be involved in.

[wls]

Beachnana, I already do as much as I can for both my children at guides like I fundraising through cookie selling or whatever they throw at me. I also take time off work to volunteer for both my daughters at school. I can honestly say that I do more for my children than their mother does but she takes all of the credit. I don't believe there are tax benefits for girl guides,

[laurie_rn]

court order?

I think (and I apologize if this is vague, but my ex and I didn't really disagree on too much, so our court order is a page long) but our kids were in multiple activities over the last 12 yrs since our divorce, and maybe because our incomes are similar, we always just paid 50/50. It was me (the mom) that signed them up for things, but I'd check with him first to see if it was agreeable first. I haven't read your whole thread (in the middle of trial with my new spouse and his ex so am time constrained) but I would assume it's however it was worded, likely based on income, in your court order.

[Rioe]

1. Tax breaks exists for certain kinds of extracurricular activities (those covered by the Child Fitness tax credit and the Child Arts tax credit). I don't think Sparks/Guides would be covered by either of those, so your ex isn't getting tax benefits from them.

Beachnana, I already do as much as I can for both my children at guides like I fundraising through cookie selling or whatever they throw at me. I also take time off work to volunteer for both my daughters at school. I can honestly say that I do more for my children than their mother does but she takes all of the credit. I don't believe there are tax benefits for girl guides,

Scouting and Guiding DOES qualify for the fitness and activity tax credit:

Children?s Fitness Tax Credit and Children?s Arts Tax Credit ? Information for Parents | Scouts Canada

Children's Activity Tax Credit

The rules were broadened not too long ago. It should be claimed by whoever is eligible, and the resulting amount shared proportionally between the payors.

[Beachnana]

Rioe. Thanks as I said. Tax break is applicable. I think its great you are involved with your daughters WLS.

Girl Fuides is active. We do not sit and do crafts. My unit Hikes, plays golf, rock climbes, swims, kayaks, canoes and camps. So sure its tax deductable. i have a Sparks unit that swim, hikes, bikes, trampoines and camps mthey are very active.