Ex Refuses to return children at designated times.

[wetsnot]

I have sole custody of my child and my ex has overnight visitations from Friday 4pm-Sat. 8pm. The problem is my ex will decide to keep the kids without telling me. He returns them whenever it's convenient for him. Sometimes he returns them at extremely late times on Sunday...and my kids are only 4 and 5 years old and they are so tired they cannot wake up for school on Mondays.

I've called the police numerous times just looking for my children. I just don't know what to do....the uncertainty is very difficult to deal with. I just want my kids returned at a consistent time.

[piggybanktoex]

My children should read "our" children.

That said, he should bring them home on time.

Also that said, maybe he wants more than a short "visit" with his own children.

Without knowing the whole story, it looks like Dad wants more time with the kids.

[blinkandimgone]

One option is to change it so that each of you is picking up the children for the beginning of your time with them so that you don't have to rely on each other to return them.

[wetsnot]

3 weeks ago we were in court and he asked for a access schedule like this. I've always encouraged access. He owes over $20000 in arrears and he goes out of his way to make my life difficult in the hopes that I will forgive his arrears.

It was my birthday and I had planned to spend my evening with my children and my family....instead I was at a police station trying to look for my children.

[blinkandimgone]

Agreed with the above poster regarding "our children". They are not yours alone.

[wetsnot]

I apologize....I'm doing this for somebody who doesn't speak English....I'm just looking for some help for a friend.

[Tayken]

I have sole custody of my child and my ex has overnight visitations from Friday 4pm-Sat. 8pm.

It is not "visitation" but "access". Very different concept as the child is not "visiting" the other parent but, residing with that parent. As other have mentioned children are not "property" so I would highly recommend the dropping of "my child" and instruct your "friend" of this as well.

The problem is my ex will decide to keep the kids without telling me. He returns them whenever it's convenient for him. Sometimes he returns them at extremely late times on Sunday...and my kids are only 4 and 5 years old and they are so tired they cannot wake up for school on Mondays.

My recommendation would be for access to go from end of school on Friday to start of school on Monday with the other parent picking up and dropping off at school. That way parents don't have to interact and the school tracks late pickups and late arrivals. For the summer months when there is no school I would recommend you drop off the children on Friday at 3:30 PM and have the other parent drop off on Monday morning by 8:30 AM.

I've called the police numerous times just looking for my children. I just don't know what to do....

What not to do is "call the police". Your "friend" will eventually be warned about this and if the police are called for such nonsense they will eventually charge your friend with wasting their times and start issuing fines. The police are not for enforcing access and access times at all! You friend should STOP right now.

In fact, if the other parent is wise they are doing this to get a bunch of really nice bogus police reports demonstrating your "friend" is a panic riddled person who will call the police because someone is late for 1 hour or 2 for an access exchange. This will look VERY BAD on your "friend" should the other parent present such solid evidence to your "friend's" horrible conduct and misuse of police services!

Stop calling the police IMMEDIATELY!

the uncertainty is very difficult to deal with. I just want my kids returned at a consistent time.

1. The children are with their parent.
2. The children are with their parent.
3. The children are with their parent.
4. The police cannot help your friend.
5. The police cannot help your friend.
6. The police cannot help your friend.
7. This is not an emergency.
8. This is not an emergency.
9. This is not an emergency.
10. Do not involve the police.
11. Do not involve the police.
12. Do not involve the police.
13. Trust the other parent.
14. Trust the other parent.
15. Trust the other parent.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Links17]

I was in a similar situation with my ex i had to return mybkids at 7h00pm. By 7h02 i was being spammed.

The vsit till school morning monday worked wonders. Since you are such a great parent encouraging access then just allow him to keep them till next morning.

Since you are encouraging access does that include wanting to establish shared custody or are you encouraging access up to 39% of the time?

[wetsnot]

I want to continue to have sole custody. My ex and I cannot seem to get along and I don't believe shared custody would work for us. However, I like the Friday-Monday suggestion and maybe suggest every other weekend access. That also gives me every other weekend with our children. Since at this point I only get every other Sunday with them.

Thank you

[standing on the sidelines]

so you want to take him from every weekend to every other weekend? That's a long time for him not to be able to see the kids even with the extra hours. How about throwing in a weekday overnight also to make it more fair to him? Could you go that long without seeing the kids after seeing them every weekend?

[wetsnot]

I don't mind if he takes a weeknite however I don't think he would want it. About a year ago he chose to move and then kept complaining to me that I need to deduct $50 for gas money from child support when he chose to move further away...and he only moved about 30 mins away.

I've never even received a full month of support and he only started giving me $150 a month in support recently after his passport was suspended and his drivers license was about to be suspended.

I can suggest a week nite if he has issues with the length of time that he won't see our kids....thats not a problem with me.

[standing on the sidelines]

nice to see that you are trying to be reasonable.

[Links17]

Anything less than shared custody if the other parent is fit, able, willing and available is NOT reasonable.

Getting along is not essential for shared custody to work. Being able to communicate is.

[blinkandimgone]

Keyword: willing.

I do believe she previously said he was not.

[standing on the sidelines]

Anything less than shared custody if the other parent is fit, able, willing and available is NOT reasonable.

Getting along is not essential for shared custody to work. Being able to communicate is.

you did see where the access right now is what HE asked for?? That he is also in arrears for CS??

For most situations I would agree with you. But if he wanted shared, why didn't he ask for that instead of the parenting time he actually requested?