never have withheld access,yet ex threatens w/rcmp

[ringettteplayer]

Hi i have never withheld access, always encouraged access when asked, yet ex has again threatened to meet me at the cop shop for return and pick ups because he doesnt want to drive the distance (30min) to the children's area.
I am always on eggshells with the bs this guy pulls.
Thoughts? On solutions? I have tried seminars on high conflict resolution but I am just feeling beat down and exhausted w/games.
He has eow and 2 weeks in summer (interim)

[arabian]

Hey ringette - haven't heard from you in a while!

I don't know much about custody/access but what specifically does your order say?

[Dadx5]

Where are pick up and drop offs now? Does the order specify a pick up and drop off location or was this an agreement that the two of you came to on your own.

[Rioe]

Hi i have never withheld access, always encouraged access when asked, yet ex has again threatened to meet me at the cop shop for return and pick ups because he doesnt want to drive the distance (30min) to the children's area.
I am always on eggshells with the bs this guy pulls.
Thoughts? On solutions? I have tried seminars on high conflict resolution but I am just feeling beat down and exhausted w/games.
He has eow and 2 weeks in summer (interim)

This doesn't sound like it has anything to do with withholding access. People usually ask to meet at a police station if they believe the other person is going to make a scene or cause trouble at the exchange.

You're implying that he is insisting on the police station because it's more conveniently located than your home is? Does he have any reason to believe that you would behave poorly at an exchange? Do you think HE would behave poorly?

If not, just reply "There is no need for a police station exchange. Picking them up at my home will be fine."

If I recall your situation, he's the one who chose to live far away. So he should do the driving.

[Beachnana]

It seems to be a bit of a trend. Put in the police enforcement clause, exchanges at the police station. My daughters ex has just decided to throw in a police clause in a response to a motion she initiated for daycare expenses; although he has never actually been denied access.

Anyway, I am not sure the police will do much. They are way too busy with actual criminals.

I have a friend who is a police officer and he told me quite often the desk clerk is not a police officer and those in the station are busy and would not come outside to sort out an domestic situation unless they felt the child was in danger.

The only people to be affected by an exchange at a police station would be the children. What sort of message would that give them. What sort of stress would that add to their lives.

[ringettteplayer]

No no time listed on order
No place listed in order

Just respondant will have access every other weekend.


He is just always trying to implicate me into situations, i dont engage i just respond business like

i just think its lame and irritating

Thx for missing me hope u are all well

[Gilligan]

I would just proceed with caution. I would have witnesses since they are clearly looking to cause conflict.

My ex pulls the same things all the time. Lately it is a refusal to pick up the child because she will call the cops if I stop foot on her property.

At this point, it's not worth the threat. However I am not putting my child in a police station because my ex is un-stable.

If your ex is that disgruntled, perhaps let him pick up at a Tim Hortons or call before he arrives and you can have the kids ready at the door. Don't place yourself in a situation where the ex can make allegations.

[Janibel]

No no time listed on order
No place listed in order

Just respondant will have access every other weekend.


He is just always trying to implicate me into situations, i dont engage i just respond business like

i just think its lame and irritating

Thx for missing me hope u are all well

Sorry about the problems you are having ringetteplayer, just be grateful that you are no longer living with 'lame and irritating' and that should cheer you up! Eventually he'll figure it out .... if there's no payback - the idiot will get bored and find another victim to hassle.

[ringettteplayer]

Yes thanks! It was like this during the marriage as well so this type of behaviour isnt a shock or new by any means, just exhausting. It will be relieving to say the least when he stops trying to poke me in the eye for his own decisions and choices, the latest is he is trying to say i have alienated our oldest from him! Its just constant blaming me instead of just being accountable and moving towards healing. this is all just smoke n mirrors as we were ordered to trial due to all his non compliance bs.
Can't wait until this is over!

[Gilligan]

I've been separated with my ex for 9 years and it's been 7 years since we had a "final" court order. I don't think it's much different today than it was when she first started this nonsense. Some people live for the fight sadly. Good luck and hope your ex can move on.

[ringettteplayer]

Nooo kidding! And sadly im the one he accuses of not moving on!

Shake my head!

Cheers to the freedom!! Cheers to the future!