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  • Pas????

    Well a new development of sorts, when common law hubby tried to call to talk to his son today, he was greeted with a personal message from his ex on the answering machine saying ' if this is ___ ______ I want to you to know the only reason you give us child support is because you have to, and since you won't give me the money for ____'s winter coat ( which cost 170 bucks btw) then I'll just have to pay it myself and now the phone will get cut off. You told me I should use the CS to pay my bills but you are more interested in being right and selfish so I hope you like writing letters"

    I can't believe anyone would stoop this low, the kicker is they have no agreements in place, he's paying his CS because thats the right thing to do....its only since he has been pursuing a divorce after 8 years of seperation has she started throwing a fit.

    Am I wrong, isn't that what child support is for, to help pay for the needs of the child?? And it just makes my stomach turn everytime I think of when the phone rings his son hears that message over and over...

    Any insight or advice???

  • #2
    jlalex,

    as you mentioned,

    Well a new development of sorts, when common law hubby tried to call to talk to his son today, he was greeted with a personal message from his ex on the answering machine saying ' if this is ___ ______ I want to you to know the only reason you give us child support is because you have to, and since you won't give me the money for ____'s winter coat ( which cost 170 bucks btw) then I'll just have to pay it myself and now the phone will get cut off. You told me I should use the CS to pay my bills but you are more interested in being right and selfish so I hope you like writing letters"

    Record yourself a copy of this message and also save a copy of your telephone bill to demonstrates the call was made. This can be used as evidence to show their true colours.

    Bottom line is the onus is on the child support recipient to apply the received child support and purchase the child's necessary items. If telephone communication is necessary with the child, purchase the child a cell phone ie: pay as you go plan.

    I can't believe anyone would stoop this low, the kicker is they have no agreements in place, he's paying his CS because thats the right thing to do....its only since he has been pursuing a divorce after 8 years of seperation has she started throwing a fit.
    Status quo prevails, The onus is on the party that is contesting such that a Joint custodial regime is not in the best interest of the child.

    Am I wrong, isn't that what child support is for, to help pay for the needs of the child?? And it just makes my stomach turn everytime I think of when the phone rings his son hears that message over and over...
    No, you are not wrong. I agree, a child does not need to hear this message. The conduct does question their ability to parent the child effectively. Therefore, record the message for future evidence. Try not to let the message get the best of you and retaliate. Pay the child support to the agreed terms.

    lv

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    • #3
      Thanks LV, always the voice of reason

      At the beginning of the year he sent her a bunch of post dated cheques for child support so the money is there waiting on her to cash the cheques.

      We did try to call back to get a recording of the message but by then she had the phone off the hook. Although we did call several times and did get through, but she had changed the message..this one saying" ____ you are a jerk and a horrible parent, and she is tired of having to go to others to get things that their son needs, and its not fair how jlalex (me) was 'allowed' to go to court but she isn't"

      No one said she can't go to court, for petes sake she's already doing that, she is trying for sole custody and spousal and child support!! We initially offered joint custody, primary residence with her and child support, no spousal support. We also suggested a visitation schedule which we were totally open to changing if it didn't work for her. I don't what else we could possibly have done to be more co-operative, and none of this was ever and issue until he sought a divorce from her.

      We have a case conference coming up at the end of March.....I'm not entirely sure what to expect....all we wanted was the finalize things and see his son as often as possible....

      Comment


      • #4
        jlalex,

        Record all the bizarre messages. You can get a relatively inexpensive device which plugs into your telephone and a personal digital recorder at Staples for about $15. Most personal digital recorders allow you to upload recorded files to a pc for archive purposes as a wave file which can later burned onto a cd or converted to MP3. You never know when such evidence may be useful.
        I always say, If you give someone enough rope, they hang themselves.

        lv

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        • #5
          jlalex

          I agree with LV you should record all these and keep a diary of all contact relating to your estranged wife and child/children. I hope you'll never have to use them, but personal experience has taught me that this is the only way to protect your butt without you having to resort to any additional hardship emotionally on top of what you are already going through. It's an extra piece of mind that will help not hinder the process. Record, document and record some more. The diary allows you a way of keeping track and not forgetting the important details. Our diaries include dates, times and duration of all telephone calls back upped with the actual telephone bills, (I have my bills back to 1997), they include quotes of things said when they could not be recorded. We recorded all voice messages we left and were left on our machine, and recorded all telephone calls and had that puppy recording during all pick ups and drop offs. And we have had to rely on them, I hope you don't.

          Better safe then sorry.

          Comment

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