Judge Not Amused w OTS as "Exhibits" on Affidavit

[YoungDad23]

Judge strongly scolded my ex's lawyer in court yesterday for attaching 2 rejected "Offers to Settle" to her affidavit. He removed them, stapled them shut and held them up in court.

Told us if he had read them, he would have had recuse himself from hearing our motions or issuing orders (My motion for overnight access & her cross motion for sole custody for our toddler son).

He issued temporary order for son to have overnight visits with me every weekend and added 2 hours to my weekday access visit.

Would not discuss or rule on my ex's request for sole custody and but did put a statement in orders that the child primarily resides with her.

After endorsement written up by judge, her lawyer asked for costs (me to pay my ex's legal bill) while holding up one of the OTS that had been used as an exhibit.

Judge shut her down cold and wrote "no costs" in his endorsement because my ex has not agreed to anything, no matter how small, in the last 15 months without court proceedings to force her into a corner.

New settlement conference scheduled for late spring and judge firm that this time he wants both sides to come up with reasonable terms for final a order.

So very relieved and looking forward to spending more time with my son!

[Links17]

I used to be in your situation - long road ahead my friend. Please don't be satisfied in the least, the court will happily give you 39% access.

[arabian]

Nice to see a legal aid lawyer's ego stomped upon by a judge.

Good day for you YoungDad23 - congrats!

[Mother]

I used to be in your situation - long road ahead my friend. Please don't be satisfied in the least, the court will happily give you 39% access.

YD23, congrats on your day in court today BUT, please see above. L17 is right. Don't set your expectations high as the same judge can crush all of it just because. You never know why as no one tells you exactly why. One day the same judge rules in your favor, next time it can be the same judge and totally opposite outcome, like day and night. Just saying.

[YoungDad23]

Thanks for the nice messages and the reality check. I know this was a small but important victory in what I believe will be a very long drawn out court process.

My son is the result of his maternal grandmother's idea of career planning for her daughter. My ex loves the baby and takes good care of his basic needs but her mother is the puppet master in the situation.

They planned for her to get pregnant and have a baby so she could get on OW benefits herself (just like mom and grandma) and her mother would have a grandchild to spoil. They didn't really want a baby daddy in the way, especially one who wants to be a parent to his child.

Yesterday, when the judge asked her about child care arrangements for our son in the new year, (stated in a previous affidavit that she was returning to school this January), she point blank told the judge that she had changed her mind and that she's not planning to work or go to school until the child is in full day kindergarten (2018).

I nearly laughed out loud when the judge said "Wow that's a long time!" straight to her face. Gotta get my laughs where I can these days!

[Mother]

Just be very patient and prepare yourself for... well anything. Do you have a lawyer? Do you like him/her? Do you have a support system (parents, other family, friends)?

[Links17]

I nearly laughed out loud when the judge said "Wow that's a long time!" straight to her face. Gotta get my laughs where I can these days!

Yeah but what is the judge going to do about it - nothing...

[YoungDad23]

Thanks, Mother

I have consulted with a lawyer who was willing to let me do the work while paying for consultations as I needed them. She then changed firms and I either had to retain her or go it alone.

By that time I had criminal charges to deal with from my ex lying to police. It took over six months and $$$ to finally get the crown to withdraw charges without having to take a peace bond for something I didn't do.

Both my parents are very supportive of me as a dad and love my son very much. Even though my parents separated when I was 9, they have always been there for my brothers and I.

My mom has been managing the legal paperwork, helping me with affidavit writing, and keeping me on track for timelines and due dates.

My dad is retired and drives me to court when I need him to (I can't afford a car) so I can get documents sworn, served and filed.

My mom and I do a lot of reading and research into the family law rules, court procedures and case law in Ontario to try and do the best we can. I have gone to the FLIC several times for help and advice.

Both my parents have attended every court date with me and have picked up/dropped off my son from his mom's place and supervised my visits while the criminal charges were hanging over me.

Ideally I want to find a good lawyer but I haven't found one I trust and the ones I think could handle my case, I can't afford and neither can my parents.

[Mother]

WOW! Your story is so familiar to my family’s story! Except a few details like, the baby was planned for the different reasons, wrong but different.

The rest: helping mother, every document, every court appearance, divorced parents, both helping, police complaint story is the same, except she was charged herself with the assault with a weapon yeah, nice woman and mother too, all is like a copy-pasted story of… anyway…
<o
There is a member here LovingFather32. I think he said he knows a good and reasonable lawyer somewhere here. Please contact him and ask for the name and location/contact if you are interested and good luck to you. You are at the right place. There are so many great people here with experience and knowledge and willing to help. One of the most knowledgeable and experienced members here is Tayken. Hope he’ll help you. Also, Orelans Lawyer, Working Dad, Arabian, my goodness, don’t want to miss anybody and I am sorry I can’t mention everybody because there are so many good people here who can help. You are in the right place. But still, if you can find a lawyer you can afford, junior may be (?) try to find a lawyer. It is theoretically possible and some people here are or were self represented but as a matter of fact it is extremely difficult. It will have to be your second full time job and you have to be good at it.

Good, good luck to you. Trust me, I hear you so clear and loud! Please keep us posted.</o

[Mother]

How old is your son? Do you pay CS/SS?

[YoungDad23]

My son is 1 1/2 and I have paid child support since the first case conference after paternity was confirmed. No spousal support since we were never married or lived together.

[Mother]

OMG! You are in the very beginning. I feel for you. Just never give up, Your son needs his father. Every child needs both a father and a mother but for the boys in my view to have a loving role model father is of utmost importance. Patience, my friend, patience. Come here for an advise and to vent. People will understand.

[Beachnana]

Start a small bank account for those first pair of hockey skates and helmet. Our grandson will get his first pair at Christmas this year. 3 years old and ready to skate. Whereas quantity of time is of course important what is more i portant is the quality of time spent with ylour son. Make the most of the time you have with your son and he will thrive.

[plainNamedDad44]

YD23, welcome. Don't give up. Ever. All of us will help you where we can.

Did I mention, don't ever give up ?

[YoungDad23]

Thanks for all the kind words. I will never, ever give in or give up on making sure my son and I have relationship we both deserve.

Had my first overnight visit with my little guy (18 mos) last night and it went better than I hoped for. He wasn't a happy camper about going to bed at my place, but he is used to his crib from naps and he only got up once in the night for a bottle.

Looking forward to celebrating our first Christmas together since last December I hadn't been allowed to meet my son yet or even know if I was his father.