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    I have been seperated since January 2003 and have gone to court 4 times and I am at a lost of what to do ...and if i have rights if any at all... I am a single mom of a 6 yr old and struggling financially as i know i am not the only single parent in this situation... But can not afford going to court yet again i am financially drained out .. while the ex has had promotions since we have seperated and refuses to revise child support and give the info on his T4. We have an iniatial court order in july 2003 that states that he is to pay 368$ per month for child support and 58% of extraordinary expenses (child care). Also this court order states that the primary resident of the child is with the mother and that that the father has liberal access under my conscente on reasonable notice. I am subsidized for the day care and this is only revised with my salary and he gets full benefits ... because it's like i have full custody of the our son, but yet the child support is joint custody based ... ?? A lot of this to me seems to be unfair as he is living a good wealthy life and i am struggling to make ends meet and can not afford going to court any more ... And i was on disability on and off in a 2 yr period due to stress and depression due to the fact that the ex has this controle over me that he has the $ to go to court and i do not... Another factor in this is that we had a house together that he chose to keep when we seperated as i did not want to stay there due to fact of the reason of our seperation was the controle and being monitored in this town by his family and friends, so in 2003 the court ordered me to get out of this area with my son and start a new life in the ottawa area ... and that my ex could not stop me... That being said the court order came in to this matter on july 23 2003 and i was out on july 29th 2003, because i now had the ok legally to leave... i was confined to the house for 8 months , that if i left the house with my son he would charge me with kidnapping.... and with my carreer i could not afford to have a judgement on myself as i would have to quit or lose my job...and these are things that he knew and controlled me with our 7 yrs together .... was the same.
    I have my son all the time except every second weekend where the father picks him up at daycare on the friday and brings him back to school on the monday am ...this way there is no contact with the ex ... Due to his verbal , mental abuse towards me... this is the best scenerio and stress free for me...
    When our son is sick , or has days off that there is no school or daycare available i am the one that has to take time off ... as well as i have had a few occasions where i needed the father to take care of our son over night due to surgery for myself and for one i was hospitalised for 3 nights issues due to childbirth complications of our son. That are now for the most part almost all resolved. I had to have my parents to take care of my son as the ex refuses to take time off to care for his son ... As his job is to important to miss work and his boss would not approve it ....
    So the last time we went to court in july 2005, the judge had ordered that because we do not agree on anything and that it's an argument all the time due to the ex disapproving of everything i do... it was said that for any decisions towards our son ..wether it be school, daycare ect... that if we could not agree that it would go to a mediator...and if we still did not agree ...that I would take the final decisions. And that he had to provide his T4 and that we would retro the child support as well as the daycare that he owed me would me added on to the child support monthly as the court did not like the fact that he only paid me when he wanted to every 4 to 5 months ... But from that court day ...i have not had any court order to this effect with this changes and i there has been no update in the child support as he refuses to divulge the information ... at that point i did have a lawyer and he was unable to get this info from the ex and his lawyer with no success ... i had to let go of my lawyer as i had nothing tangible to hold up for me and i could no longer pay the lawyer. As i have my son and myself to take care of ...
    So i guess i would like to know if that last court appearrance is valid even though i do not have it on paper and if this absolutly has to go to court for this changes to take effect ...??

  • #2

    I replied to your other post.



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