issues even after I won in court

[littleman]

I have had it witht the so&so called ex........Im to a point where I just want to revoke visitation.......hes hurting my child now with unkept promises.......not to mention he has already contraveined the court order........not just one of the orders 3 of the 5.........the other two are minor ones........he hasnt paid his extra ordered 200$ on the 1st of december........his latest stunt is He called our child Christmas eve and said he was coming to get him then called him back and said his neck was too sore to drive to east ottawa but ok to drive to west ottawa from Renfrew………I decided I would take him and not ruin his Christmas providing he was home by noon Christmas……he was back but his father was to pick him up last night for the next week…….he did the same damn thing to him again…….poor kid felt awful..he got off the phone he was in tears so of course I lost my cool and called him back……a lot was said then I told him to try to be a father and if he didn’t want to I can take care of that also………told him I would take away visiting…….he said he wanted to get our child today while Im at work and I told him absolutely not……of course he wasn’t impressed by that……..I told him if our child wasn’t home when I got there I would call the police and have our child returned and him arrested for kidnapping….he said that I couldn’t do that so I asked him what exactly he thinks sole custody is……..tonight should be interesting.........do I have to go back to court in regards to him contravening the orders put in place not but 2 months ago????

[logicalvelocity]

littleman,

That is a horrible thing to do to a child at any time of year. It appears your ex is not child centered. There are so many parents out there that do not see their children at Christmas for one reason or another.

First off live by the order. Do not sway from same. The more it is varied at parental discretion; the more difficult time you will have to enforce such.

A child requires stability and to know that their other parent will be there. When that parent consistently fails to show up for the child's access, it has a detrimental effect on a child.

Document the occurrences of failed access. The only thing you can do is bring forth a motion to cease the child's access to their other parent.

I believe 3 - 5 missed visits would be sufficient evidence to bring forth an order to cease your child's access. The court may give a warning "last chance" approach and make the child's access conditional to terms.

he hasnt paid his extra ordered 200$ on the 1st of december....

Is the FRO involved in the matter. Not much you can do but let FRO enforce the order.

he said he wanted to get our child today while Im at work and I told him absolutely not……of course he wasn’t impressed by that……..I told him if our child wasn’t home when I got there I would call the police and have our child returned and him arrested for kidnapping….he said that I couldn’t do that so I asked him what exactly he thinks sole custody is……..

If there is no provision in the order, then you are within your rights. If your ex wanted your child for today, the onus is on hime to bring forth a motion to vary the current access order but would have to prove a material change before same would be heard.

If he came and just took your child, this would be considered abduction and yes you could call the police and have them enforce the court order and have your child returned.

It does appear that he is trying to aggravate you. Some people thrive on this manipulation.


lv

[littleman]

annoyance

yes FRO is involved but they didnt include the extra 200$ that was awarded for back expenses he never contributed to........FRO said they dont include that the claim whereas its not for a year or more.......if this is such the case then should I go back to court to have it enforced........not withstanding he just sold his residence and can pay it off in full to get me off his back........I have definatley learned about documenting everything that he does when it involves our child or support or lack of paying...etc........there is nothing documented stating that either parent has a legal right to see their child on holidays even if not their "weekend" or time?? Guess I am asking do I have to legally allow him to see our child on holidays or can I advise him no that its not his scheduled time.......and I would be legally safe doing so??
Maybe if I photocopy the order and ask him politely to reread ypu think he might smarten up??

I thought this wa«s over but I guess not......here we go again.......thanks in advance LV......you helped last time and probavbly again this time.......Yes I still remember smile & nod..dont blow up at him............

[logicalvelocity]

littleman,

There is nothing ever final in Family Law.

there is nothing documented stating that either parent has a legal right to see their child on holidays even if not their "weekend" or time??

Is the order vaguely stated: "reasonable or liberal access on reasonable notice?"

If so, this creates significant ambiguity between the parties. It leaves open for interpretation of what is reasonable or liberal and additionally what is reasonable notice. Which parent decides? What is reasonable for one parent may not be reasonable for another.

Guess I am asking do I have to legally allow him to see our child on holidays or can I advise him no that its not his scheduled time....

The court has given you a vote of confidence with a final sole custody order and as such it is your right to make day to day decisions involving your child. There is no fault in demonstrating a child centered approach by willing to share the child's holidays with the other parent. If it was me, I would continue to do so. A custodial parent has a parental duty to encourage and facilitate access between a child and their non-custodial parent. If an offer is made, and the parent rejects same; this really does look bad on them.

In regards to the arrears and FRO cannot enforce, take the matter back to court and seek costs. A self represented party is entitled to costs (lost wages from employment, travel, disbursements, parking, meals. postage, copying fees etc.)

lv