Divorce: Need advise

[sufferer]

hi everybody,

My 1 year of separation will end on 23rd dec but common issues (child custody,child support,spousal support etc)are still pending.Leaving them open on a side can i apply for divorce?will legal aid cover it?will it be wise to do so or it will be foolish to do it without resolving other issues?I am not planning to remarry .What is the procedure if i want to do it without any lawyer ?

Legal velocity i will count on your advise.please help me

[littleman]

sufferer

welcome to the forum,

I had my divorce finalized years before custody issues & child support were decided......having these two issues decided after the fact can be trying on your nerves and your patience........I cant comment on the spousal support however I believe this is only a factor if there is a huge difference in salaries.......for custody & child support I was self represented with of course the guidance from here........without the people here I dont thinkI would have made it through.........save this forum as a favorite on your computer especially if you will be self represented.......its a God send......as for legal aid not many people qualify.......if you make (it seems like) any amount of money you dont qualify........if you own anything car,house,etc you dont qualify..........when it comes down to the end of it you have to be just about destitute to qualify for legal aid.........personally I found it better being in the middle of it all I knew exactly what was being wrote about myself and my child verbatum and didnt get the "Coles Notes" version of it......you can resd the threads that I had on here and they may direct you in the right place........LV and Lindsay are extremely helpful

[sufferer]

Lv i need some advise please

Please give me some advise regarding my divorce

[logicalvelocity]

sufferer,

as you mentioned,

can i apply for divorce?will legal aid cover it?

By default, once you have a one year separation, either spouse can apply for a Divorce. I don't believe legal aid of Ontario will cover the litigation expense of the Divorce in itself.

To see what they cover and the number of hours see the legal aid tariff handbook found here.

http://www.legalaid.on.ca/en/info/pdf/Tariff_Manual.pdf

For the procedure on divorce, you have to bring forth an application with the courts, However since you have other outstanding issues, it is best to combine the issues. I would think your paramount concern right now would be to obtain child and spousal support for yourself in the interim. Legal aid will fund the litigation for these claims.

If you feel that you would like to proceed with your divorce, you will have to find out if your divorce will be uncontested or contested. If it is determined that the Divorce will be uncontested, see this guide for procedures in family court.

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.o.../fc_part6a.pdf

lv

[sufferer]

thank you lv but more advise pleaa...ase

My ex as i told you earlier quit his job and told my lawyer that he is fired.My lawyer asked him to sign a consent letter to speak to his employer but he refused stating that he is telling the truth.My lawyer says that even if we file a motion for support it won't help and judge will favour him becaus he has no money.He has a leased business and as per him he just plans to work over there and will support me accordingly.Isn,t he obligated towards his kids legally>Can't judge tell him that since he landed to canada(4 years ago)he has been earning more than how can he decide to make one third of whatever he was making when capable of making more(before he was working and leased busines was running side by side).And of course in business he will show his expenses more and will pay me negligible.What is the right way to deal with this situation and i am sure he is still involved at his work place and is working under the table.What is your opinion lv.......in a weird position

[logicalvelocity]

sufferer,

I do find the situation suspicious in consideration that your ex won't provide an authorization for release to information pertaining to same. I infer that they may be hiding something.

Regardless, It appears the individual is underemployed and perhaps the best route to take is to bring forth an order to input an income to the individual.


ie: an amount equivalent to the last three years. You have to remember that support of children is a paramount consideration of the court. As such, I suspect you will have very little trouble persuading same to input an income.

lv

[sufferer]

thank you once again

Today when i met my lawyer i was told that OCL refused to take my case.Is that a good sign or bad?

[logicalvelocity]

sufferer,


If your issues are litigated, the court will now have to make a decision on each parties evidence rather than independent input by way of a report from the OCL on the parenting abilities of each parent.

A court can order a request to have the OCL involved, but ultimately the OCL reserves the right to take on a case.

lv

[sufferer]

i need more help LV

LIke i told you all my problems and instead of resolving the issues my ex is trying hard to complicate them.Now he came up (send to my lawyer)with a list of items which we never even had.He claims about some silver and golden items which were not even there in matrimonial home.How can be he so nasty and accuse me for things which never belonged to us.What can i do about it.
I am really hurt

[logicalvelocity]

sufferer,

as you mentioned,

resolving the issues my ex is trying hard to complicate them.Now he came up (send to my lawyer)with a list of items which we never even had.He claims about some silver and golden items which were not even there in matrimonial home.

If you don't have the items, respond formally by way of your own lawyers letter to his respective solicitor that you do not have same and that this is the first time you have even became aware that perhaps an item existed. The onus is also on the individual to prove such existed and that they are indeed in your possession.

How can be he so nasty and accuse me for things which never belonged to us.What can i do about it.

Simply put, this is part of their strategy to wear you down and perhaps attempt to show you are vindictive. Perception is everything in Family Court. Don't fall the trap. Be very pleasant and full of grace in your lawyers letter or your own authored and state that you don't have the items, but if you should come across same, that you will promptly return.

This puts the ball in their court to prove that the items existed and that they are in your possession. On the balance of probabilities, this may be difficult to prove.

In regards to your other issues, I suspect you will have to perhaps input an income to him for support purposes on the grounds that they have undermined their ability to earn income.

lv

[In-Law Trouble]

Help!

Logicalvelocity,

I need your help. Will u be able 2 help me fix this problem? I posted a question on my thread, Dealing with emotions over divorce.

My email and private messaging is not working on this website? How can i fix it? Or can a moderator fix it for me? Could u please let me know. Thanks!

In-Law Trouble

[sufferer]

thank you lv

Yup thats a good way to answer him.I forgot to tell you that he claimed his share in my parents property too .Now he called his dad from back home and indirecty(through one of commom friends) made me aware of his plans about claimimg the shared custody.Will court consider his dad's help?.Few days ago when he came for the access(court ordered one month supervised access in my house) his brother and sister-in-law accompanied him(got migrated to canada and just came from back home).Since i never had any bitterness i let them in and treated them good and they were also okay.AFter two days they came again and provoked me to say something against him.I was not nasty but again ofcourse said things like "he is not a caring fatherand never spend anything on kids","his ex used to curse him and so do I","I don't want my kids to be like him "etc.Suppose if they recorded everything can they use it in court against me and will that means that i will loose my kids custody.His brother is a lawyer back home and i am sure he double crossed me and came just to save him from child and spousal support.

[logicalvelocity]

sufferer,

as you mentioned,

made me aware of his plans about claimimg the shared custody

You have to keep the following in mind.

In Ontario until an order from the court or a separation agreement is in place, Both parents have "coextensive custody" [1.] of the child. When parents separate and the child remains with one parent the authority to act is suspended but not ended for that parent.

[1.] Waugh v. Waugh, 42 R.F.L. (4th) 415, [1998] O.J. No. 4041 - The Ontario Court of Justice, General Division held that there was no separation agreement or order from the court in place determining custody of the 17 month old child. As such, Paragraph 8 of the judgment, deP. Wright J.concludes:

"With respect to the issue of the so called "joint custody" of the child, the fact is that at law at the present time the two parents are equally entitled to share the responsibilities and the benefits of custody. In other words, at law they in fact each have coextensive custody of the child at the present time."

I suspect the other parent does not realize that at law they already have coextensive custody.

In Ontario, Custody adjudications of children are governed by the Children's Law Reform Act R.S.O. 1990 c. C.12 and or the Divorce Act - Canada (in situations where the parties were married both the Provincial and Federal Act may apply. The Best interest test is used to determine incidents of custody and access for both acts.

For simplicity lets look at The Children's Law Reform Act

Section 24 of the Children's Law Reform Act

http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/DBLaws/S...c12_e.htm#BK18

enumerates the best interest test that the court must apply. Status quo living arrangement of the child, primary caregiver, bond and stability are also critical factors the court will consider.

The court may assess a parent's conduct in determining their ability to act as a parent. See Section 24(3) and (4) of the Act.

Since i never had any bitterness i let them in and treated them good and they were also okay.AFter two days they came again and provoked me to say something against him.I was not nasty but again ofcourse said things like "he is not a caring fatherand never spend anything on kids","his ex used to curse him and so do I","I don't want my kids to be like him "etc.Suppose if they recorded everything can they use it in court against me and will that means that i will loose my kids custody.

Who really knows if they recorded it If they did, what is their motive to bring a tape recorder in advance during what is suppose to be a visit with the child! The court may question this conduct. There is not much you can do now but take a wait and see approach. If it is brought up, admit to it and claim they provoked you. IE: you find the in house visits intrusive, and stressful. Have you considered a supervised access centre?

In the future, be pleasant and polite and do not get dragged into a discussion as such including over the phone. Keep the adult issue correspondence in writing! Do not defame the other parent. If they continue to insist on the verbal discussions in front of the child then they are abusing the intent of the visit in itself. You may want to request by way of letter either authored by you or your lawyer; that all conversations of the adult issues to be in writing and the clarify what the intent of the visits are to be.

The best advice I can give is remain focused on your child. Be pleasant and polite. Be careful what you say and to whom. Smile! People will wonder what on earth your smiling about! It works!

On the face of it you do have a significant advantage right now in your claim for custody of your child - That being you appear to be the primary caregiver with the acquired consent of the other parent!

I suspect there is no custody order in place at this time, However, the status quo living arrangement of children generally prevails and is seldom interruptes by the court especially if everything is working out for your child. The longer this status quo goes on, it solidifies your stance.

lv

[logicalvelocity]

In-Law Trouble,

My email and private messaging is not working on this website? How can i fix it? Or can a moderator fix it for me? Could u please let me know. Thanks!

I believe everyones pm's have been disabled due to amount of junk mail spammers were sending to members. I have no way of changing the settings.

lv

[sufferer]

need more of your opinion

I don't know if it can be called interim custody arrangements but yes these were ordered through court.""I(mom) will be primary caregiver and father will have 5 hr weekly access till OCL gets involved".Actually he took my 3year old with him and refused to return her so my lawyer had to file a urgent motion in which above arrangement was made.Do you think that this arrangement mean nothing.It won't help even if the case goes to litigation .what is your opinion about his dad will he be considered as help in front of a judge and be a factor while deciding about custody?I am confused and worried too(abt the recorder).Now supervised access is over and i already send them a letter through my lawyer to stop their visits at my place till case is not resolved.After having a long phone conversation i was even more firm on my divorce decision.