date of separation

[RainB]

My spouse and I were physically separated since our marriage in September 2012 due to work. We have so many incompatibility issues and I claimed we separated in January 2013. My spouse did not want to divorce at the beginning and refused to be cooperative. I had no choice but to file the divorce application in April 2013 with date of separation January 2013.

After that, her lawyer served me an answer asking for property division and indicated the date of separation is March 2013 rather than January 2013. The valuation date on her financial statement is also March 2013. Both answer and financial statement are filed with court.

After a few months of negotiation with lawyers help, we sorted out all the financial issues. We signed the separation agreement with date of separation as of January 2013. We each obtained ILA from lawyer.

Subsequently, her lawyer served and filed notice of withdrawal that indicates my spouse withdraw all the claims in the answer she filed with the court.

Now I am almost ready to file the affidavit of divorce using 1 year separation as the ground with separation date start on January 2013 that both parties finally agreed.

I am anxious person, I saw the term collusion on the website. The date of separation (Jan 2013) on the separation agreement is 2 month earlier than the date of separation in the answer that is eventually withdrew. Is this a collusion?

[selfrepguy]

I'm not a lawyer, have just learned A LOT from handling my own divorce.

It seems to me that collusion would only be applicable if the court saw that you and your ex were working together to lie to the court.

I think that if you cannot agree on a date of separation a judge will set the date themselves based on "best available evidence" -- and you would need to provide the judge with the evidence to substantiate your claim of January 2013.

That being said, you have a signed document were she effectively agrees to your date -- I don't see a reason for anxiety.

However, if you can wait the three months (until March) then that would be one less issue to contend with at court. It may not be right but it'll make the road a little smoother.

What does the notice of withdrawal state?

[RainB]

What does the notice of withdrawal state?

Thanks selfrepguy

The notice of withdrawal states my spouse withdraw the answer filed with the court completely against me. Both lawyers contact also appear on this form.

[RainB]

However, if you can wait the three months (until March) then that would be one less issue to contend with at court. It may not be right but it'll make the road a little smoother.

But on the affidavit for divorce, I should still put the date of separation as Jan 2013 to be consistent with original divorce application and separation agreement, correct?

Do you suggest I file the form in March 2014 instead of January 2014?

[selfrepguy]

I've been self-represented for a while and what I've learned is that sometimes the actual facts my be a) inconsequential and b) not worth fighting over.

In other words, if the actual date of separation is not that important to you (and it might be, in defining the length of the marriage) then you can either fight for January 2013 for 3 months or you can just wait until March. It's really your decision to work out.

Has she given a reason for March 2013? Is that some sort of milestone that you can remember?

[RainB]

First of all, since the answer was withdrew, the divorce became uncontested. There is nothing left to fight for now. My only concern is if the judge will have issue with the date of separation and refuse to grant a divorce.

As said ,we were physically separated due to work since the beginning of the marriage. Living apart is not a good factor to determine the date of separation in this case. She did came back (uninvited) and spent only one night at my place in March. Although she still wanted to save the relationship at that time, I did not want to try to reconcile. Since then we started to fight for property. I guess that is the reason March 2013 was used initially in her version.

[advice needed]

You have to think hard why she is insisting on March 2013 as separation date. Usually its always got to do with financial incentive. You will have to try and dispute this, by any witness, e-mails, tel recorded conversation etc. Divorce can be granted only one year from separation, unless there is abuse etc. You keep showing the date on your forms as the date you know you guys separated. Finally on a motion the Judge is going to decide the date based on whats in front of him.

[standing on the sidelines]

was march the time when you said to her in no uncertain terms that you wanted a divorce?

[RainB]

I said I wanted a divorce in January 2013 it is just I don't have any proof for that. She claimed we separated in March in the answer so she could get more money through equalization. Everything was then settled by us and both agreed the date of separation is January 2013 in the separation agreement.

My lawyer said since my spouse withdrew the answer completely, the divorce proceeding will go uncontested basis. I just need to wait until Jan 2014 to finalize the process.

To summarize, we both want a divorce and we agree the date of separation is Jan 2013. Would the judge still have problem with that because she previously claimed the separation is March 2013?

[standing on the sidelines]

I said I wanted a divorce in January 2013 it is just I don't have any proof for that. She claimed we separated in March in the answer so she could get more money through equalization. Everything was then settled by us and both agreed the date of separation is January 2013 in the separation agreement.

My lawyer said since my spouse withdrew the answer completely, the divorce proceeding will go uncontested basis. I just need to wait until Jan 2014 to finalize the process.

To summarize, we both want a divorce and we agree the date of separation is Jan 2013. Would the judge still have problem with that because she previously claimed the separation is March 2013?

I cant see it being an issue.

[sahibjee]

i cant see why a judge will have a problem over something that she has withdrawn anyways.

that said at a previous court date both me and ex submitted to the judge that an extra overnight access be given to me but the judge denied it without explaining why. both of us were shocked. some judges are nuts.

[standing on the sidelines]

i cant see why a judge will have a problem over something that she has withdrawn anyways.

that said at a previous court date both me and ex submitted to the judge that an extra overnight access be given to me but the judge denied it without explaining why. both of us were shocked. some judges are nuts.

if you both agreed then why even ask a judge?