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  • Thinking about taping...

    Hello everyone!

    We (common law husband and myself) are presently attempting to resolve custody and support issues. When we initially filed an application for divorce it included joint with primary residence of the child with the ex, child support and set out a reasonable visitation schedule which is the same schedule they have been practising for the last 8 years. There is no previous order in place.

    For reasons I don't understand she became very angry and her answer to our application included a request for sole custody, spousal support and a very limited visitation schedule which covered a month in the summer and 2 holidays and the rest to 'be granted with reasonable notice to the mother'...which given her recent behaviour will be little to none.

    Our response is to be filed today. In the meantime she has been calling every other day screaming about one thing or another. Included in the weekly deposit of the child support is an additional 10 dollars for allowance for the child. We have found out recently that he hasn't been receiving this money. As a matter of fact she claimed on her sworn financial statement that *she* paid the allowance monthly. So to be sure we had decided to set up a savings account and put the allowance in there each week and when the child comes to visit he can have it to do with whatever he wishes. When we told him our idea he thought it was fantastic ( he was very excited to have his own bank account ). Well as soon as he told his mother she went ballistic screaming and yelling, which ended up in the Dad hanging up on the Mom.

    She often threatens things like she will tell the child that we are punishing him if we don't do things the way she wants. Because of this we are thinking it might be a good idea to start recording these conversations. Assuming we do this does it carry much weight in court ( we would have the recordings transcribed for the court )? She stated in her answer that she would never do anything to interfer with access or visitation but thats all she has been doing!! We are logging these things as well, but I though perhaps recording them would lend some weight to show we are not exaggerating the levels of her interference.

    Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome!

    Jlalex

  • #2
    jlalex,

    as you mentioned,

    For reasons I don't understand she became very angry and her answer to our application included a request for sole custody, spousal support and a very limited visitation schedule which covered a month in the summer and 2 holidays and the rest to 'be granted with reasonable notice to the mother'...which given her recent behavior will be little to none.
    For some people they do not understand the term joint custody and when backed to a corner they feel that they are losing some kind of authority. Little to they know, without a previous court order or separation agreement providing other BOTH parents have coextensive custody of the child for the last 8 years.

    Our response is to be filed today.
    You must be referring to a REPLY to the other parties ANSWER.

    In the meantime she has been calling every other day screaming about one thing or another. Included in the weekly deposit of the child support is an additional 10 dollars for allowance for the child.
    Most likely part of her strategy to demonstrate that a joint custody regime is not workable.

    I am not sure why you would send an additional amount for the child's allowance. There is no law that compels you for same.

    I believe you have come up with a great idea for allowances by setting up a savings account directly for the child.


    She often threatens things like she will tell the child that we are punishing him if we don't do things the way she wants.
    Start recording this. On the face of it, this conduct appears to be emotional abuse unto the child. If this is occurring, it does question their ability to parent.

    You can enter the recordings as an exhibit to an affidavit. Nothing is irrelevant when it comes to a child. Build your case. Perhaps if the court get wind of what really is going on, maybe the individual will stop and see what effect it is having on the child. Once the evidence is played, there is no denying what was said. I believe the court would put great weight to same in a custody adjudication.

    lv

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    • #3
      jlalex,

      always be very pleasant to the individual and smile. Bite your tongue if you have to and don't get into a sparring match with same.

      The individual will wonder what on earth are you smiling about.

      lv

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks LV!

        You are absolutely right of course, I did mean reply not response. In regards to the allowance thing, it was initially started as a means of encouragement for the son to pull his weight around their house and be more co-operative with his mother...she has a hard time with disipline and structure. We were hoping the allowance would be a positive reinforcement. Only to find out she hasn't been handing it over to the child....so we figured the savings account a good idea, and show him the value of saving, and of course making sure *he* actually gets the money.

        And we learned pretty quickly not to engage her in any way, shape or form, thats just not an arguement anyone could win as both parties would have to be thinking logically and rationally..I think she just likes to yell. It would almost be funny if I didn't know their son was witnessing her outbursts. We keep telling her if she won't talk calmly and rationally we will have to hang up the phone..which we end up having to do anyways....

        It is all very sad and at the expense of a child..how do you fight someone who is so irrational and not above lying to get what they want...and who knows what she is telling him on a daily basis...ugh

        Comment

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