define what "a week" is

[sunnyday123]

I prepared a summer access calendar in April and had no answer from my ex. The order says I need to wait a month before taking major décisions. So, after a month I registered my kids for different camps. He never paid special expenses and never sent me an idea for camps.
For me, a week is from Monday morning to Sunday evening and because my ex did not say anything I presumed it was the same.
The evening when he was supposed to return the kids: a surprising e-mail. For him, a week is from Monday to Monday.
And apparently, with all the final orders in this world, you need to go to Court again to have a regular motion, but that motion will not happen before a few months.

So, what do you suggest me just to be able to live in peace? Accept the way he defines "his week"? This will create problems for my own summer weeks. Get my days with the kids back next time he should show up and surprise him, too? Go the Court and ask for a precision to what a week is (stupid motion, in my opinion). Thanks!

[HammerDad]

A week is seven consecutive days, or 168 hours. I would agree that it is Monday morning until Monday morning, being 7 sleeps at the other parents house.

As for the expenses for the camps and his need to pay, did you ask him about registration prior to enrolling them? Without his consent to enrolling the kids in the camps, you will be hard pressed to argue that he is obligated to pay. Although, his consent should not be unreasonably withheld taking into consideration what has been done in previous years. The best way I can suggest getting around this is to let them know of the activity and the cost and state that you will give them 2 weeks to reply and should they fail to reply, you will deem their consent to the activity. That normally will cause them to reply one way or another....and if they don't...well you are on record stating what you are going to do.

[SadAndTired]

Hammer Dad, She does say she notified him in April and waited a month with no reply from the ex. A month of no reply is certainly consent in my book.

As far as a week, yes, I too agree. Seven overnights is a week in my book. Doesn't matter when it starts. Ask him to pick the child up and drop off on Sundays.

[sunnyday123]

I, I notified him in April but it's true I only said "the week of July 1st".
In May, however, I sent a full calendar, with days and pick-up times and had not reply.
His first "reply" was during that week of July, the day when I was expecting the kids, which is "bad faith" in my opinion.
So, should I assume that at least for this summer he consented and ask him what he wants for next summer?
However, how to make sure he does not do it again this summer?

[HammerDad]

A week is a week, so 7 overnights.

Taking that into consideration, does your plans overlap onto his parenting time? If so, then I'd say you're outta luck. Yes, they could be registered that day, but if it is his parenting time, he is under no obligation to take them. Notwithstanding that you sent him a calendar in May. You are not entitled to make arrangements for the kids on his parenting time without his prior consent.

Unless you specifically stated to your ex that unless he replies with a Yes or a No to the activity in question by X date, than I wouldn't assume anything. He may not have realized how your scheduling may have impacted his parenting time. And it is pretty obvious that you each had different definitions of a "week", which I am of the opinion his is more correct. So assuming anything would be bad.

IMO, I would look at the schedule you prepared, take into account the "new" week schedule and how it affects things. Ask the ex if he can arrange for the kids to be brought to any activity you mistakenly arranged during his parenting time. If he says "no", then chalk it up to lesson learned about not being on the same page.

[sunnyday123]

OK, so here is the history:
1. E-mail on April the 4th - I propose you the following weeks for the summer (Week of...). Please let me know if you wish to have the kids on those weeks. NO REPLY.
2. E-mail on May 22nd with full calendar. I only ask him to "acknowledge receipt". Maybe I should have asked him again to say Yes or No? NO REPLY


As regards activities for kids: the final order arrived in the middle of the semester. There were week-end lessons already paid for the kids. I proposed the father to take them (for instance, skating). He did not reply and did not take them. I know most parents organize kids activities for the week-end. But once you pay for a course, you cannot just pay for every two week-ends. Since it is his parenting time, he is probably not obliged to do it, but I find this bad for the kids who enjoy those activities. Any ideas to manage this and make sure kids are happy?

[HammerDad]

OK, so here is the history:
1. E-mail on April the 4th - I propose you the following weeks for the summer (Week of...). Please let me know if you wish to have the kids on those weeks. NO REPLY.
2. E-mail on May 22nd with full calendar. I only ask him to "acknowledge receipt". Maybe I should have asked him again to say Yes or No? NO REPLY

I simply state that "Would you please reply by X date as I need to ensure that I have time to register. Unless I hear back from you by X I will assume you agree and proceed with registering the kids."

That keeps it pretty clear that he has to say something. Saying nothing will mean he agrees. But if you hear nothing, as a courtesy and to further cover your butt, a follow-up email should be sent a few days prior to deadline to ask again.

As regards activities for kids: the final order arrived in the middle of the semester. There were week-end lessons already paid for the kids. I proposed the father to take them (for instance, skating). He did not reply and did not take them. I know most parents organize kids activities for the week-end. But once you pay for a course, you cannot just pay for every two week-ends. Since it is his parenting time, he is probably not obliged to do it, but I find this bad for the kids who enjoy those activities. Any ideas to manage this and make sure kids are happy?

Dad is being a douche for not taking the kids if they truly enjoy the activity. But that said, it is his prerogative.

The only way around this is to schedule activities during times when you regularly have the kids. That takes the other parent out of the question when it comes to whether they will take them or not.

[tugofwar]

As for the expenses for the camps and his need to pay, did you ask him about registration prior to enrolling them? Without his consent to enrolling the kids in the camps, you will be hard pressed to argue that he is obligated to pay. Although, his consent should not be unreasonably withheld taking into consideration what has been done in previous years. The best way I can suggest getting around this is to let them know of the activity and the cost and state that you will give them 2 weeks to reply and should they fail to reply, you will deem their consent to the activity. That normally will cause them to reply one way or another....and if they don't...well you are on record stating what you are going to do.

Im in a similar situation, my ex fails to respond or agree to things such as summer vacation and camp. The only reply i got about camp was it was too expensive. After attempts to get them to respond, i set out a time for a respond and did not hear back. I needed to make arrangements for the summer and was not waiting... kidlet is only signed up for a few days a week for a couple of weeks. The kidlet teacher was concerned about what arrangements were being made for the summer and quite happy that she will be attending camp.
So in attempts to get summer vacation sorted out, it was never finalized or agreed to and the day before my requested time, get a message asking what time to pick up kid the next day. The lawyers got involved and if i did not hand over the kid, they were going to bring forth an emergency motion. The opposing lawyer did not respond to my lawyers letter, and next day ex picked up kid. My lawyer has asked when the kid will return, the opposing lawyer said they can't get a hold of their client...
My ex has made every excuse in the book regarding emails and not being able to read them in a timely fashion, respond etc. and now he is doing the same with his apparent lawyer?
Im not sure when kidlet is returning, my lawyers letter set out a time and date but I still want confirmation... who's not to stop him from not returning kid?

[sahibjee]

Monday - Monday is right, its 7 over nights like others said.