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  • blinkandimgone
    replied
    Lol! Nobody does that....really now?!?

    Leave a comment:


  • Tayken
    replied
    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
    Now THAT is an interesting idea, i like it
    A public library is also a great place to post odd messages to this forum too. Public Libraries have so many uses in Family Law...

    Good Luck!
    Tayken

    Leave a comment:


  • involveddad75
    replied
    Originally posted by NeverGreen View Post
    I go through this a lot as well.

    Almost every exchange, and theres no need for it. I say barely anything (Im recording but I get it all on tape, the put downs, the agression, the gaslighting...) all in front of the child..and her neighbors...and her parents.....as wel currently do the exchange in front of her parents house.

    Sadly...because she doesnt drive the suggestion to do the exchanges elsewhere got stymied. The child is only 2 so theres almost no way to conduct "faceless" exchanges all the times. She doesnt want me bringing anyone to the exchanges.

    But I do get so tired of the way she puts me down in front of the child....makes me wonder what she says and how she acts when I'm not around.
    Side note here, if your doing all the exchanges, document the mileage between homes, and then ask for a reduction in CS because transportation should be shared.

    There is caselaw about this, not I can't think of it at the moment.

    Leave a comment:


  • involveddad75
    replied
    Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
    In a public library maybe - where there is an expectation that people will keep their voices down, and everyone can hear you?
    Right that would, my D3 and D5 are quiet when they haven't seen me for a few days.

    NOT!

    LOL.

    Leave a comment:


  • involveddad75
    replied
    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
    Common locations are (in high conflict situations):

    - *In* the McDonalds/etc.. in front of the service counter.
    - *In* a crowded area like the food court of a mall.

    Key point is that you shouldn't be exchanging the children in a parking lot with a high conflict ex. The stories that I have seen used about these locations is just scream out that they need to be done in front of cameras.

    Anywhere there is full security surveillance is a fine place to go.

    The highly conflicted often change their tune when they know they are being recorded.... Well, most of the time.
    It also protects the false allegations. One might be accused of being high conflict, but it might also be that one parent is simply trying to create smoke.

    In either case having camera's protect each other from the others behaviours, but the same can be said that they also protect from false allegations.
    If a parent makes an allegation, you can simply ask the accuser to produce the camera evidence that proves the act. Otherwise withdraw it.

    Leave a comment:


  • NeverGreen
    replied
    I go through this a lot as well.

    Almost every exchange, and theres no need for it. I say barely anything (Im recording but I get it all on tape, the put downs, the agression, the gaslighting...) all in front of the child..and her neighbors...and her parents.....as wel currently do the exchange in front of her parents house.

    Sadly...because she doesnt drive the suggestion to do the exchanges elsewhere got stymied. The child is only 2 so theres almost no way to conduct "faceless" exchanges all the times. She doesnt want me bringing anyone to the exchanges.

    But I do get so tired of the way she puts me down in front of the child....makes me wonder what she says and how she acts when Im not around.

    Leave a comment:


  • blinkandimgone
    replied
    Now THAT is an interesting idea, i like it

    Leave a comment:


  • dinkyface
    replied
    In a public library maybe - where there is an expectation that people will keep their voices down, and everyone can hear you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Tayken
    replied
    Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
    Who moved away?
    If you go to tims or mcd other the other door approach.
    Lol check it has two entrances. Lol
    My ex got the judge to change locations once, to one she picked. Turned out it only had one entrance.
    We now do exchanges in a plaza parting lot.
    Once both children in school this September, all exchanges will be done at school.
    Common locations are (in high conflict situations):

    - *In* the McDonalds/etc.. in front of the service counter.
    - *In* a crowded area like the food court of a mall.

    Key point is that you shouldn't be exchanging the children in a parking lot with a high conflict ex. The stories that I have seen used about these locations is just scream out that they need to be done in front of cameras.

    Anywhere there is full security surveillance is a fine place to go.

    The highly conflicted often change their tune when they know they are being recorded.... Well, most of the time.

    Here is the supporting theory applied:

    "Bike thefts slashed by 50% at University after scientists install a picture of a pair of EYES above the cycle racks"

    Bike thefts slashed by 50% at University after scientists install a picture of a pair of EYES above the cycle racks | Mail Online

    Good Luck!
    Tayken

    Leave a comment:


  • involveddad75
    replied
    Who moved away?
    If you go to tims or mcd other the other door approach.
    Lol check it has two entrances. Lol
    My ex got the judge to change locations once, to one she picked. Turned out it only had one entrance.
    We now do exchanges in a plaza parting lot.
    Once both children in school this September, all exchanges will be done at school.
    Last edited by involveddad75; 05-28-2013, 09:25 PM. Reason: Auto spell error

    Leave a comment:


  • court
    replied
    Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
    She's 6 so she is in school. Have him pick D6 up from school on Friday, and drop her off at school on Monday. No need for you to meet at all.
    That would be ideal, I live 80km from him though and he wont' do it, that's why we meet in the middle.

    Leave a comment:


  • court
    replied
    Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
    If you don't mind me asking, why don't you have equal shared parenting is there a protection concern with regards to the other parent, or has he decided that he doesn't want equal shared parenting. You say you have no order but you have sole custody. I'm confused. How can you have sole custody without an order for access?
    When I went to court to get custody ordered I went to the case conference requesting joint (he worked too much for shared) and when he didn't show up twice the judge automatically gave me Sole custody. I didn't fill out the forms for access (dumb yes) and so that wasn't put in the final order. When a final order doesn't have access specified at all, what are the default terms? Does anyone know?

    Thanks for all the advice, I especially like the idea of meeting inside a Tim Hortons or something similar since he will be less likely to insult me in front of people. A public parking lot doesn't seem to make a difference to him but inside a facility might, I will also bring a video camera

    Leave a comment:


  • Qrious
    replied
    This is a horrible situation, court. My X is currently texting our S15 and being negative towards me, his mother. I'm not sure how to make this stop either.

    For your sake, as well as your child's, I certainly hope this stops. I like the video camera idea. Wonder if that would work?

    Leave a comment:


  • SadAndTired
    replied
    I agree with the Supervised Access Centre. They have programs where they supervise drop off/pick up. Even smaller cities have them and his behaviour would be documented by professionals.

    At the very least I would record and I would clearly let him know I am recording. You may never get him acting awful on tape that way but hopefully it would make him act more appropriately in front of the child.

    Leave a comment:


  • involveddad75
    replied
    Find a place tim hortons, or McDonalds that has two entrances you use the same door everytime he the other door.

    If you don't mind me asking, why don't you have equal shared parenting is there a protection concern with regards to the other parent, or has he decided that he doesn't want equal shared parenting. You say you have no order but you have sole custody. I'm confused. How can you have sole custody without an order for access?

    Leave a comment:

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