(Il)legal aid

[standing on the sidelines]

If the doctor thought your ex MIL was a danger to drive then they have to report it to the ministry.

As to the first part, not sure how you would prove it.

[Moolight]

One thing I notice iceberg in all your post, you seeking 50/50 but does not trust that your ex will do the right thing with the children. I believe you are the cause of most conflicts with your ex and contradicting yourself with the 50/50 request.

You have to stop looking what she does in her time and entrust that she will not put the child in danger. You are creating your own stress and it appears that you are the trigger in all this.

If you cannot entrust the child with the other parent then you are lying in the fact that you are seeking 50/50. The first in separation is to let go, once the child is under the care of other parent. You are only in control 1/2 the time when you have the child and you have really to stop looking into everything what the ex does in her time.

As an outsider with a neutral position, I can see the judge saying "mind your own business" as you have no access to your ex mother health file nor can prove anything.

[standing on the sidelines]

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[FaithandMorals]

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[FaithandMorals]

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[standing on the sidelines]

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[FaithandMorals]

Ex describes her mom as supernanny. Isn't it my job in this litigation to find the faults there?
My pm is open if you like to state your personal opinion about me, but I won't reply.

You really think your job is to try and find faults with your ex Mother-in -Law when you have a young child recovering from a horrible illness but you do not agree you should get your priorities right?

You won't reply to someone giving you their opinion of you? Would be great if you could do this when your ex writes to you.

[Moolight]

Iceberg, I am not disputing your situation but you have to learn you pick your battles. I have been through my own and the only way to survive is to stop trying to control what you cannot.

My ex was also something and he will never realize his contribution nor admit it. But the day I stopped reacting, he did not understand, and that removed him any arguments, remember she can use your reactions against you.

You are hurting yourself and will be on the edge until you stop. More you react it is like putting fuel on the fire. There is no rest...

Find other thing to focus on when she has your D. Refresh your energy, concentrate on something else so you are rested when your D is with you.

Try not to even mention MOM with D, it is your time to enjoy do not spoiled it.

If my comments hurt you, then take a step back as you need it.

[mcdreamy]

Is there a way to prove that my x makes big $ and is not eligable for legal aid. The company they run is appearently on her sisters name so they "pay her just right" even though she is most valuable employee there


ALSO: 2 years ago my ex told me doctor adviced ex's mother not to drive due to her medical condition. Lately she happens to pick up my child. Maybe she got better but from what I know she never seized driving. IDK if her driving was a risk for long distance only but am thinking is my child safe when my ex MIL drives....and how to find out.....

Hold on -- aren't you on a legal aid certificate as well? What would be the point of trying to negate hers, exactly?

RE: the driving; I don't think that if her GP didn't restrict or revoke the mil's licence, there is anything you can do. Sometimes I think if you are going to have a successful co-parenting arrangement, you really should turn a blind eye to what is going on in the other parent's household (safety issues, notwithstanding).

[Moolight]

Moonlight: If your first response was like the second one, it would be no problem. I am not looking for conflict. But if it gets ugly, I have to be prepared to refute my ex's lie that her mom is fully capable of babysitting (while according to her my mom is not) so I can use it at CC so she thinks harder about shared custody. Maybe I sound like a trouble maker and maybe it is because of English. Or maybe I have different mentality. But you calling me a liar is not correct and if i thought the BIC is to be with me FT, I would make it Chrystal clear and fight for it. I am not reacting to her any more. I am doing my own preparations.

McDreamy: I qualify, she shouldn't, for legal aid. And if she had no LA, she would try harder to negotiate.

My ex told me that doctor told or adviced her mom not to drive.

Iceberg, I am telling you that you may try as much you want to use this at CC, but unfortunetly it will not do much good. Maybe your expectation of the CC are too high.

The Judge has really no power to do zilt, it is not a trial. If you say that your ex is lying, that mean she will just continue to do so.

Also if the CC end up focusing on this, then the most important will be missed. Every CC and SC, I have been through the judge did not pay attention to these details but look where for the point you are both apart for settlement.
You child is young and I have no doudt that you will get the judge on your side for 50/50, but push on the positive points as these are stronger. You have to focus on the caring and involve DAD you are and that you are an important part in your child life.

No matter what your ex does, she cannot remove that from you. And certainly not at a CC or SC. Remember the judge can not do any order unless you both agree.

I saw Judge going ahead with order, when party did not oppose his sugestion or did not say anything.

[Berner_Faith]

Ice- I realize your daughter is recovering from cancer and I know we are all sorry to hear that... But honestly you can't use that as an excuse everytime you want to rebuttle something. The whole 'you don't hit a child with cancer' line, what does the child having cancer have to do with hitting the child? Are you suggesting that it would be acceptable if she didn't? I just don't understand why you always throw that line into your posts?

[Moolight]

OK. My point is to show my ex that she cannot run the show. That she needs to hit the breaks. .

The reality is that by jumping to anything she does, you actually let her run the show.

Once her family issues are exposed it will soften her position. Her father hit my child on the wrist yesterday. No big deal right? But u dont hit the child recovering from cancer. He has irreparable anger issues. Yesterday ex MIL took the kids to the mall and my child got her head stuck between those rails on second floor, took them long time to get the head out. Yes can happen to anyone but my ex MIL is not in condition to watch the child.

Again you are going on shaking ground. Unless you have a CAS report the Judge will just ignore you. If you have an issue with this, you should have reported to the police and CAS.

Leave child condition out of this as it has nothing to do with it. Make sure you are ready for the question: How serious is a slap on the wrist? Where you a witness?

I do not know if you are just venting here, if that is the case then good for you. If you are engagign in argument with ex on every thing you report here, then I am telling you it is overbearing and will demonstrated that you are not better than her and collaboration is impossible.

I don't prefer daycare over family members but when you open a can of worms it gets messy. That's exactly what my ex did. And it is getting worse. I would write something what they did but you would call me crazy. Why did my ex let the kid go 2 years to school in my area? Because no one could watch her as those are half day school. Now that the kid would be in school from 8-4, fits their schedule. Nice plan.

Here you do have a point and that is where you should fight and put your energy in, keep the child school in your area, your ex can figure out the negotation for access issue, not need to ask for full custody. You do not need all the negativity to fight this one.
Contrary, you have to be seen as the positive parent that encourage a relationship with both parent.

So, the lawyers tell me to keep the child in the same school. If I do fight for it how to keep shared custody? That means I get full custody. Too far for us to drive the child to school during her time. She refuses school in the middle. She refuses me to move closer to her like half way. She wants full custody.

If I move half way I need still approval from the judge. (Not going to move to her area). I even need her signature (or order) that she cannot relocate school any more, if she tries to then I move the child back here.

It is not her call if you are willing to move closer but again she can just move away too. I would stick to your current location and argue to keep the child in the same school. Do not ask for full custody, leave it to her to figure out how she can manage the access. Maybe she will move back in the area. Do not try to solve her issue.

It is more complicated than I can explain.

LEGAL AID: I believe she is not eligible and i will see if I can prove that. If she starts paying $300 per hour she may say let's talk about shared custody.

I would spend my energy on that since it is not your problem. Waste of time and energy.

[HappyDays]

Moonlight is correct. Focus on the stuff you can prove and leave out the rest. The more you complain about, the worst it will look on you.

Forget about Legal aid as you already know she will lie about it. She will also try and use that against you.

Stay where you are now and push to keep the child in the current school with joint custody. Let them know you want 50/50 access, and whether your ex can do that or not has no relevance on you.

[wretchedotis]

aww... Mess...

You're taking all the fun out of it!

*pout*