When EX's lie... Are the consequences?

[Gilligan]

I am going to my case conference tomorrow and wondering how do I deal with an EX who keeps bringing up false allegations, which are easily proven false.

Her claim is for CS and S.7, saying things like "The Applicant and refused to pay S7 expenses" when in fact I've done so all along.

Essentially, it's a smear campaign against me, and I've followed the court order religieously for the last 5 years. She is doing it to make me look like a controlling person and she is a victim, but the reality is that I've always paid according to my court order, including any and all S7 expenses. I have proof, but are there any consequences of the obvious lies?

I fell like it isn't a level playing feild, as I am doing my best to be truthful and honest, and feel that the judgement may not be appropriate as it is based on many lies.

Is this a contempt order? Or does she just simply get away with doing this type of thing.

[dad2bandm]

I guess, you just rely on your "proof". If you have receipts and such, that show you have made payments, for your share of the section 7 expenses, then you should be good. If you have given her money directly, then I hope you used a means that provides documentation.

If she is indeed lying, you should just rely on your "evidence" to show what you're saying is true, and that should discredit her pretty quickly, if a judge even cares.

[dad2bandm]

Is this a contempt order?

What do you mean? Do you mean, she is trying to prove "contempt" against you, for non payment? Or do you mean can you motion for contempt against her?

A "no" to the latter scenario.

It almost sounds, like the first scenario; is she bringing you to court?

[Gilligan]

Yes, she is bringing me to court, on a motion to vary a final order.
She is making false allegations saying that I am in arrears, not paying S7 or CS. So, she is basically trying to make me look bad, when indeed I have followed the court order. She has a number of points; however most of them are fiction.

I can back every point with a history of payments.

With regards to contempt, I am curious if she could be found "in contempt of court" for lying in a affidavit? If I can prove that she is falsifying information in order to bring a motion on false pretenses, should there not be a remedy for that sort of unethical behaviour? Unfortunately, it just seems to be the "in thing to do" nowadays.

[mom2three]

With regards to contempt, I am curious if she could be found "in contempt of court" for lying in a affidavit? If I can prove that she is falsifying information in order to bring a motion on false pretenses, should there not be a remedy for that sort of unethical behaviour? Unfortunately, it just seems to be the "in thing to do" nowadays.

She can bring the motion and you counter argue it with your evidence that it is false. But no, she will not be found in contempt; contempt happens when one does not follow an order. Rather, you request costs on the motion, which is the available remedy for unethical behaviour. Hauling you into court won't be the thing to do when she has to pay for bringing frivolous motions.

[HammerDad]

saying that I am in arrears, not paying S7 or CS. So, she is basically trying to make me look bad, when indeed I have followed the court order.

You have been adjusting your c/s amounts each year to coincide with any adjustments to your income I hope?

I just want to put that out there, because if the court order says you pay X c/s based off of Y income and you are now earning Z (Z being more than Y) you may be in arrears as you have an obligation to update your c/s payments each year, generally in July to match your previous years income.

[Gilligan]

You have been adjusting your c/s amounts each year to coincide with any adjustments to your income I hope?

We agreed to a fixed amount due to un-equal division of assets. However given our current income, there would be a discrepancy of $12 / month, which I will happily adjust. However, despite my ex bringing forward the motion, she has yet to disclose all of her financials.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>

[HammerDad]

I would adjust to be honest.

The law states that c/s is to be in accordance with the guidelines. Yes, individuals can agree outside of court to an alternative amount (greater or lower). But the courts must follow the law on this point. So it is likely that your c/s will be adjusted to the guideline amount.

Also, it isn't a huge difference from what you are paying now.

Is she asking for c/s to be reviewed? If so, and you have your NoA's you can likely consent to the adjustment, pay difference. If it is like $144 ($12x$12) for a few years, paying $500 may get that part off the table and make you look like you are being reasonable in the eyes of court.

[Gilligan]

I am afraid I have a few other issues.

My fixed child support was part of the final order and only fixed to offset a large debt that I took over. As well, by way of a final order, we
Redirected CS to an RESP.

I have no problem paying directly, but it was working well when the child would have his education paid for.

Ex is asking for me to hand over the RESP, pay 5 years of retro child support (while forgiving her for $20,000 offset) and ongoing support.

[Gilligan]

To cl,write, I have offered to pay CS directly, but EX is unreasonable on all other issues. I guess it will have to go to court.

[HammerDad]

Oh, I see a bit more of why she is claiming retro.

She is claiming that you never paid c/s, as you were putting the money into the RESP instead, and now the ex wants retro c/s on top of the RESP contributions.

I would ignore the fact that, while is technically correct, you haven't paid c/s, you:

1. that it was agreed that c/s would be put towards the RESP (I hope you have her agreement in writing); and

2. that the amounts you've paid are equal to your c/s obligation and that she never complained until now. Meaning you could suggest that her silence on the method of payment to the RESP instead of directly to her, was deemed consent.

If she is going after direct payments now, I would cease the RESP contribution and pay her directly. The courts will likely order it anyway. I'd also update the amount paid to guideline amount. Doing this takes that argument off the table and makes you loko reasonable.

But I would argue against arrears. If you have evidence regarding her consent to the RESP payment, show it to the judge. If you can't find it, you can argue that she had ample opportunity to request direct payment and she failed to object to the payments being made to the RESP in lieu of her.

Personally, I'd simply stop the RESP payments and bring her cheques for the c/s amounts. Photocopy the cheques and send them to the ex via registered mail (return receipt requested). State in the cover letter that the cheques are for c/s going forward.

And the ex can't have it both ways re: handing over the RESP AND Retro c/s. It is one or the other, otherwise she is double dipping (you paid $10k in c/s into the RESP..., she wants that and another $10k retro, giving her $20k). Not happening. She can argue she is entitled to retro, you argue the order provides it goes to the RESP. If she gets retro, the RESP stays in your name.

It is a touch tougher than it looks as judges can lean lots of ways. But she isn't entitled to both retro and the RESP. And you have solid argument that the she agreed to the RESP in lieu of c/s, either explicitly or implied.

[yhm]

Short answer is: No, there is almost never any sanction for perjury and you are wasting your time, money, and emotional energy trying to get one.

That said, it is important to counter every falsehood with fact, and if it goes to trial, credibility will be a big issue. If your X is a persuasive liar, you need a long paper trail that contradicts those lies.

[Gilligan]

1. that it was agreed that c/s would be put towards the RESP (I hope you have her agreement in writing); and

Yup... in fact, it is a final court order, done on consent with independent legal advice.


I don't think there is much there for the Retro CS or RESP. The RESP is currently joint, and she wants it put in her name, to only count towards her portion of Post Secondary. I don't think the law is on her side here though and given the fact that this was done in accordance to a court order, there is little chance of having it reversed.

I agree, about paying CS directly, I have offered to do this (even provided an offer to settle to this effect), however my ex is high conflict, and unless I give her the RESP, Retro Child Support as well as other things she insists on, I am afraid this will go to court. Probably the best, but again, this is why I am hoping for an honest playing field.

I suspect she will win ongoing CS, but given her games, I am not entirely sure how that will play out in court. One would hope they uphold the current final order, but I am being realistic in that it isn't likely to play out that way.

I am looking at Costs as a motivation, and hope that my offer to settle should provide me my insurance required before going through with the motion.

[hadenough]

The consequence is that eventually the one lying looks like an idiot and has zero credibility once their lying ways are revealed. Forget contempt or perjury; it won't happen. People lie all the time in Court. IMO, it seems to be the status quo and it is quite tolerated. Disheartening, I know - but a sad reality.