Hello There
I am an Indian citizen and Canadian Permanent resident. I got married to my husband in 2008 in USA. Even though it was an arranged marriage, circumstances led it happened in USA. At that time, my husband was on H1b visa and I was a Master student (F1). After 7 months of marriage, my husband had grand mal seizure. I came to know that he has epilepsy which is mostly under control with the medication. He had 6-7 seizures in his life though he had this problem from six months of age and had been on medication for most of his young and adult life. Though he had some accidents almost one year before our marriage and our marriage might be an attempt of keeping someone with him all the time.
In the meantime my husband has to move to Canada. I joined him here in 2010 and I got pregnant in the same year. To save his time, my husband relied mostly on my and his parents, who visited us from India, during my pregnancy. So many things happened during my second and third trimester – including him having another seizure in the presence of my mother, his super superstitious mother, bad OBGYN, overdue pregnancy, induction, intense labor of 2 days and ultimately c-section (which bled for one month too). I went into postpartum depression. So during maternal leave, I had some counselling sessions from a private psychotherapist. Finally I recovered.
Only a few days went normal, my husband’s epilepsy started getting bad. Almost in last one year, he had 8 seizures. The situation is really bad- one he had while walking on the road (paramedics brought him in) and four in the bathroom (In the most recent one, he was walking naked inside the apartment since he had no conscious). His situation affects my health and I have to take care of two years old son as well. We are having ‘Divorce/ Separation’ talk almost after every episode. He does not think if divorce is needed, probably because I and my son complete the picture of him as a successful man.
The physical side of marriage has been weird too, which includes visit to doctor. He has to sleep early and work almost 12 hours a day to be an outlier. Things have gone really bad after son’s birth and we sleep in separate rooms so that I can control my son’s noise and my husband can sleep well. He also has mild sleep apnea.
I want to know my legal rights and make decision accordingly. People of Indian origin have options to take divorce on any of the jurisdictions (India and the country of residence; we currently live in ON) with mutual consent. India has strict law for this situation, not sure how Canadian system sees this deception or disease. I am looking for a mutually consented resolution, so that there will be the least negative effect on my son. But if my husband does not consider separation as an option, what should I do and how should I approach? Our finances are tied together very closely. Besides on emotional and physical level, it is a big step since we don’t have any family or close friends here. With my current salary, I doubt if I will qualify for any Government program but I will be vulnerable especially on emotional level- I have tendency for depression. I personally want to take step by step approach (prob. in 1-2 years) instead of haste decision.
Thanks
I am an Indian citizen and Canadian Permanent resident. I got married to my husband in 2008 in USA. Even though it was an arranged marriage, circumstances led it happened in USA. At that time, my husband was on H1b visa and I was a Master student (F1). After 7 months of marriage, my husband had grand mal seizure. I came to know that he has epilepsy which is mostly under control with the medication. He had 6-7 seizures in his life though he had this problem from six months of age and had been on medication for most of his young and adult life. Though he had some accidents almost one year before our marriage and our marriage might be an attempt of keeping someone with him all the time.
In the meantime my husband has to move to Canada. I joined him here in 2010 and I got pregnant in the same year. To save his time, my husband relied mostly on my and his parents, who visited us from India, during my pregnancy. So many things happened during my second and third trimester – including him having another seizure in the presence of my mother, his super superstitious mother, bad OBGYN, overdue pregnancy, induction, intense labor of 2 days and ultimately c-section (which bled for one month too). I went into postpartum depression. So during maternal leave, I had some counselling sessions from a private psychotherapist. Finally I recovered.
Only a few days went normal, my husband’s epilepsy started getting bad. Almost in last one year, he had 8 seizures. The situation is really bad- one he had while walking on the road (paramedics brought him in) and four in the bathroom (In the most recent one, he was walking naked inside the apartment since he had no conscious). His situation affects my health and I have to take care of two years old son as well. We are having ‘Divorce/ Separation’ talk almost after every episode. He does not think if divorce is needed, probably because I and my son complete the picture of him as a successful man.
The physical side of marriage has been weird too, which includes visit to doctor. He has to sleep early and work almost 12 hours a day to be an outlier. Things have gone really bad after son’s birth and we sleep in separate rooms so that I can control my son’s noise and my husband can sleep well. He also has mild sleep apnea.
I want to know my legal rights and make decision accordingly. People of Indian origin have options to take divorce on any of the jurisdictions (India and the country of residence; we currently live in ON) with mutual consent. India has strict law for this situation, not sure how Canadian system sees this deception or disease. I am looking for a mutually consented resolution, so that there will be the least negative effect on my son. But if my husband does not consider separation as an option, what should I do and how should I approach? Our finances are tied together very closely. Besides on emotional and physical level, it is a big step since we don’t have any family or close friends here. With my current salary, I doubt if I will qualify for any Government program but I will be vulnerable especially on emotional level- I have tendency for depression. I personally want to take step by step approach (prob. in 1-2 years) instead of haste decision.
Thanks
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