Changing a temporary access order based on OCL Report

[dman24man]

Hey guys I am new to this site and trying to get some help. Since my ex has a lawyer (her parents have money) and I am representing myself I need as much help and support as i can get.

I have been fighting a year and a half long court battle with my ex wife who has tried to keep me from seeing our daughter. The Office of the childrens laywer got involved and their report suggests joint custody and access every other weekend from friday pick up at school to monday drop off at school and every wednesday from after school to thursday morning drop off. the interim order based on her lies gave me access every other weekend from saturday morn to sunday eve at 5pm and every wednesday from 3:30 to 7pm. My ex has dragged out everything with stall tactics and i really want to start having more time with my daughter. it is probably going to trial but in the meantime do you think it is worth my putting in a motion to change the temporary access order so i have more time with her until the trial date. i have read up on only one case and it was denied but it was asking for a residency change and not just more time. Also there is no chance of settlement since she is asking for me to have access every other Saturday from 10am to 5pm and every Wednesday night from 5pm to 7pm and thats all. Her lawyer has booked a Conference for Feb. 28th but I dont know what type of conference it is, whether its pretrial, settlement or just conference because they did not file a conference brief yet (yes I have educated myself a bit). Do I need to wait and if we cant settle ask the judge to order us straight to trial or do I have to book a pretrial conference myself for that. Any advice from anyone would be really appreciated...Thanks a lot
Dman

[involveddad75]

Before I comment about your questions, a few tips from someone who has been successful in court.
Always refer to your children as "our" children or by name, it took two to bring her into this world. Never refer to them as "my" they are not a possession they are a person.
Also always frame your statements around how it benefits the children.
I don't know your case and as such am making a large number of assumptions, please forgive me if I go on. But I think you will get the idea.
If you go into court with the statement: "I really want to start having more time with my daughter." you won't get too far.
If however you go into court with the statement.
"Our daughter would benefit from more time with her father because her father was always involved before separation and he wishes to be more involved. Our daughter has been prevented from spending equal amounts of time with her father and the OCL's report although not perfect does recommend more time be spent with her father. The mothers inability to accept this and voluntarily increase the time _____ has with her farther is further proof that if given sole custody would use it to further undermine the relationship between ______ and her father. ______ has lost her family as she knows it, it is time to stop her losing the relationship either parent."
You'll notice that all statements above are framed around how it affects your daughter and not you. This will get you much further in family court than anything else.
You are an adult; it's about your child. Even here the statements you make on this board could be used against you. If you live it, breathe it, when trial comes it'll be second nature to you.
As for your caselaw request.
I believe the following case
winn v. winn 2008 canlii63195 (5 pages)
This case was not successful in following the recommendations; however it further refers to other cases that would help you in your request.
If you have trouble accessing the other cases sited in this case, private message me and I have copies I can send them to you.

I believe if Trial is right around the corner, then you would have to use the argument that your daughter would be harmed in some way by not increasing it before trial.
That said if you go into trial without the increase because mom refuses, it further supports your case, that mom can't act in the children's best interest and shouldn't have sole custody. Perhaps Joint, Parallel or even sole custody to you would help correct this. Because your case has always been about inclusiveness and your ex's has always been about exclusiveness.
Again I don't know anything about your case so have made a large number of assumptions.

[dman24man]

thank you so much for you reply, it is very helpful. You are correct that her case has always been about excluding me from our daughters life. I have never tried to exclude her because I want our child to have two parents and I sent her endless emails in the beginning begging her to stop and even sent her copies of the effects of PAS on children in the hope that she would stop. Her lawyer has booked a conference for this month and I will try and get the temporary order changed based on the OCL report because it clearly states in the report that our child would benefit from more time with me and that this should not wait for trial. i am going to search for those cases now and see if they can help me. It is very scary doing all this alone when she has a lawyer. Even just hearing from you makes me feel less alone so thank you

[WorkingDAD]

thank you so much for you reply, it is very helpful. You are correct that her case has always been about excluding me from our daughters life. I have never tried to exclude her because I want our child to have two parents and I sent her endless emails in the beginning begging her to stop and even sent her copies of the effects of PAS on children in the hope that she would stop. Her lawyer has booked a conference for this month and I will try and get the temporary order changed based on the OCL report because it clearly states in the report that our child would benefit from more time with me and that this should not wait for trial. i am going to search for those cases now and see if they can help me. It is very scary doing all this alone when she has a lawyer. Even just hearing from you makes me feel less alone so thank you

If she has a lawyer you need to write a lawyer that you want increase access as recommended by OCL implemented and all other issue will be dealt with on Trial.

They probably will try to get something from you for exchange like temporary custody to mom - don't agree to that if that not what you want.

It's good that you have conference coming. It definitely make sense to try to resolve it on conference and if other party do not agree (keep in mind that judge can make only consent orders or procedural at conference) you need to try to schedule motion date to deal with access.

What kind of conference booked? Make sure you will file required paperwork on time !!!

WD

PS:
And please use paragraphs if you want people to reply and help you.

[dman24man]

If she has a lawyer you need to write a lawyer that you want increase access as recommended by OCL implemented and all other issue will be dealt with on Trial.

They probably will try to get something from you for exchange like temporary custody to mom - don't agree to that if that not what you want.

It's good that you have conference coming. It definitely make sense to try to resolve it on conference and if other party do not agree (keep in mind that judge can make only consent orders or procedural at conference) you need to try to schedule motion date to deal with access.

What kind of conference booked? Make sure you will file required paperwork on time !!!

WD

PS:
And please use paragraphs if you want people to reply and help you.

it is a case conference and I received the other parties brief today.

They have attached an offer to settle property which is not even part of the original case.

They have attached an offer to settle the 'child issues" but there is no custody set out in the agreement it says only that mother makes major dicisions for the child. The access in the offer to settle is exactly what I have now, which is a far cry from the supervised visitation she was originally asking for but only half the access recomended by the OCL.

They have disputed the ocl report, that was expected, claiming the investigator was bias and not thorough because she didnt take into account copies of my 8 year olds journal in which she writes "I hate my father, I like my mommy' and "my father doesnt love me, I know it" and "my father doesnt take care of me, why not?" I cannot imagine that any adult would beleive that an 8 year old came up with this or not see through it as the start of alienation which is what the investigator said is happening and exactly what she is disputing.

Since the OCL report is meant for trial and not easy to use to change a temporary order I plan to use the following stategy to try and change it to give me more access.

The respondent asked the couts not to make a temporary order pending an investigation by either childrens aid or the OCL. She claimed that I was a drug addict, internet addict, and that I had chosen not to see my daughter and not had access withheld.

The investigation was done by childrens aid at her request and they wrote me a letter saying they will not be supporting allegations of substance abuse or any thing else and are closing their file.

The OCL investigation was completed and also no findings of any of her accusations.

Since my limited access was based on these allegations I am not asking the court to alter my access based on the OCL report but based on the failure of the respondent to prove any of her claims despiite the OCL and Childrens Aid investigations.

Since sanctions were placed on our childs visits with me based on accusations, doesnt it make sense that if these accusations were not proven that these sanctions be lifted?

Any one have any input on these ideas??