Tips for dealing with OCL and Private Assessors

[baldclub]

^^^^ Pretty much my situation too, but the OCL didn't condone her denying access. However, proposing a 38% custody situation was a terrible, terrible injustice to the children.

[involveddad75]

Hi: we had OCL in for their observance of our family recently. She interviewed me and my partner for 1 hour each. There is soooooo much I forgot to mention during the interview but all of it is in the court documents she was given.

My question is this: do the OCL investigators do a thorough reading of the court documents? When we were interviewing I made reference to them and she said she hadn't reviewed them yet, which came as a surprise.

Also, is it worthwhile to call her up and let her know something really important we forgot to mention in the interview?

Thanks!

Assessors are only given roughly 20 hours to conduct a family assessment.
It's no through, it doesn't look under the skin.
Generally from the reports I have from the people on here who have shared privately and those I have helped. The report is simply a restatement of what the parents say about each other.
Slanted in one direction or the other.
In my case a 50/50 fully involved father, being recommended to have 38% and sole custody to mom.
Mom's accusations written as if they were true, and my concerns dismissed.
Mom's negative behaviour understood and in someways accepted and justified all biased on lies.
My positive behaviour understated. My questioning of procedure and process interpreted as controlling.
My "requests" for information, turned into "demands" and threats of court action.
At the end of the day the judge didn't even mention the OCL recommendations in the reasons for his judgement. Thats how little weight he gave to them.
I will say one thing, the only semi neural part of the recommendations were the observations. She didn't have a problem with my parenting.
That said she still sided with mom.
And actually condoned mom withholding the children.

[baldclub]

My question is this: do the OCL investigators do a thorough reading of the court documents? When we were interviewing I made reference to them and she said she hadn't reviewed them yet, which came as a surprise.

Hi!

Don't expect the OCL to be knowledgeable of your case or to take it upon themselves to try to see your point of view. Firstly, they are most likely swamped and involved in other cases. Second, they are supposed to represent the children's voice and they don't really care about you in some fundamental ways.

As is the case I think mostly in life, you're your own best supporter so if you think something is important, let the OCL know.

Also, is it worthwhile to call her up and let her know something really important we forgot to mention in the interview?

In my case there were some very, very objectionable accusations brought to the OCL's attention and I emailed them to say that my perspective was available and forthright if they so needed, but honestly I don't think they cared or that it mattered as my feedback was not sought.

Depends though maybe on what you forgot?

On a side note, being the new partner of someone going through family disputes is tough, but can make you a stronger couple. I wish you all the best.

[FrustratedPartner]

Hi: we had OCL in for their observance of our family recently. She interviewed me and my partner for 1 hour each. There is soooooo much I forgot to mention during the interview but all of it is in the court documents she was given.

My question is this: do the OCL investigators do a thorough reading of the court documents? When we were interviewing I made reference to them and she said she hadn't reviewed them yet, which came as a surprise.

Also, is it worthwhile to call her up and let her know something really important we forgot to mention in the interview?

Thanks!

[Harold Callahan]

Hi all, quick question and let me know if I should post elsewhere..

went to firts settlement conference and felt like I was getting railroaded by the OCL agent and found her to be quite hostile. She only read off her notes from the one disclosure meeting, had another meeting with my son after that disclosure meeting which I was not aware of? (standard?)

anyhow - can my son ask for a new agent if this one is not helpful?

thx

H

I should also add that my son told the OCL agent that his mother threatened to leave him here and move back to her home country if he told the lawyer he wanted 50/50 access. My son has not asked for 50/50 access and as a result the OCL agent has recommeded against it. My son and I have been enjoying this 50/50 arrangment for over a year now. How do get the OCL lawyer to take this seriously..

[Harold Callahan]

Hostile OCL agent (lawyer)

Hi all, quick question and let me know if I should post elsewhere..

went to firts settlement conference and felt like I was getting railroaded by the OCL agent and found her to be quite hostile. She only read off her notes from the one disclosure meeting, had another meeting with my son after that disclosure meeting which I was not aware of? (standard?)

anyhow - can my son ask for a new agent if this one is not helpful?

thx

H

[Janus]

oh and i have her on tape threatening me with legal and i said how will you pay and she said i have money put away.

I don't fully understand why you are so worried about losing in court.

she is asking for sole possession of the house. i told her i will give it to her if she signs that she wont move our child out of the house for 5 years and if she does i want my half. she refused and just wants it anyway. she is asking for the court to give it to her.l

If she did sign that paper, it would not have any effect whatsoever. She could sign the paper and then move out with impunity 2 months later. Hell, she could move out 10 seconds after getting the house.

Perhaps you meant "exclusive possession"? That would be when she lives in the house, but you still own it. The way you wrote the above it sounded like you were considering an unequal division of marital assets (namely, giving her the house). If she is asking for exclusive possession, she will probably have to accuse you of domestic violence first.

Either way, I would just get the house sold on the market now. Send a registered letter saying that you want to list the house, or you want to be bought out within X days. You get the cash you need to fight your legal battle, and don't have to worry about costs.

I think you need to get to court, and you need representation while in court. I don't think you understand the laws well enough to adequately defend yourself.

[dman24man]

i dont think i am going to lose in the long run. I think i will win because she has withheld access and there is proof, the ocl found a police report where she admits she has withheld access plus she wrote a letter to the school saying she has sole custody and i am to have no access. i just dont know if i will win a motion asking for a change to the temp access order pending trial. oh and i have her on tape threatening me with legal and i said how will you pay and she said i have money put away. i gave her all the money in the marriage and she paid bills and saved for our family i cant get legal aid because i own the house she is living in with our child. she is asking for sole possession of the house. i told her i will give it to her if she signs that she wont move our child out of the house for 5 years and if she does i want my half. she refused and just wants it anyway. she is asking for the court to give it to her.l

[Janus]

The only reason why I am afraid to try and increase access is because she has a lawyer and if my motion is denied I will have to pay her lawyer.

Child support will hurt you (and your children's relationship with you) far more than any costs award, you only pay the full costs if you have been really really naughty. You might even win, then she has to pay you.

The savings are all in her personal bank accounts, she forced me out of the home by calling the Police on me repeatedly. The Officer said to me to do myself a favour and find another place to live so i did.

Don't take legal advice from the police.

She has all the savings and she told me she is using them to pay her legal.

Try to get her to say that in writing. If those savings are truly fraudulently withheld from you, then you are not necessarily going to lose this case.

i have nothing to pay for legal so If I am going to bring a motion it has to be a very good chance that I will win.

If you truly have nothing, apply for legal aid, or self rep. Despite the oft quoted case on this site, legal aid pretty much does give you wings unless you really really jerk around the court system.

Frankly, for parents with shared custody where both parents are gainfully employed, it is very difficult to make it cost-effective to go to court. However, for those parents who do not have custody and are paying table support, I think it makes financial sense to fight every year for custody until the ex has successfully alienated the kids from you.

Oh, and if you have somehow been convinced that you are not a good parent, get over it. Being a parent is very easy. Many uneducated, lower quartile intelligence humans with functional reproductive organs become parents every day. If they can do it, so can you. That crap about how a parent is the hardest job in the world is some of the worst propaganda ever made. It is easy and rewarding... trust me, you want it.

I'm not sure why you are so convinced you are going to lose.

[involveddad75]

Private message me.

[mnadarasah]

In my case I went to the court. Judge asked us to fillout the intake form and he asked the OCL to investigate. I had the kids for full sole custody then OCL involved and gave me the report that my x-wife have the sole custodyand no way for the shared custody. After 20min that gave me the consent to sign that they are going to give me JOINT Custody and it will review after one year?
I am afraid what is going to happen to me?

Help Me.

[dman24man]

You should be consistently trying to increase access, in every way, as often as reasonably possible, until you have achieved 50/50. Why would you not?

The only reason why I am afraid to try and increase access is because she has a lawyer and if my motion is denied I will have to pay her lawyer. I gave her all my money every month for 11 years and she did all the finances including savings for our family. The savings are all in her personal bank accounts, she forced me out of the home by calling the Police on me repeatedly. The Officer said to me to do myself a favour and find another place to live so i did. She has all the savings and she told me she is using them to pay her legal. i have nothing to pay for legal so If I am going to bring a motion it has to be a very good chance that I will win.

[Janus]

You should be consistently trying to increase access, in every way, as often as reasonably possible, until you have achieved 50/50. Why would you not?

[dman24man]

Do a search on this site for the term "status quo" and you will find that it is most likely in your best interest to proceed with the motion to increase.

How much parenting time/access do you have and how long has it been in place?

I currently havew every other weekend from 10am saturday morning to 5pm sunday evening and wednesday from 3:30pm to 7pm.

The OCL has suggested every other weekend from Friday after school to Monday morning pick up at school and Wednesday from after school to Thursday drop off at school.

The current order has been in place since April 2012 after 8 month court battle where I had almost no access at all. Access has been withheld for illness aproximately 50% of my weekends and this has now stopped since the OCL report was released saying our daughter is at risk of PAS.

The other party used many tactics to stall the investigation including refusing to acknowledge receipts of documents I had sent to the investigater and sending the investigater 200 pages of documents 1 week before scheduled discovery and not sending me copies. Discovery was cancelled and OCL report was supposed to be released in November was not released until January 1013.

Thanks

[firhill]

Does anyone know if it is worth doing a motion to get the temporary access order changed based on the stalling and OCL report. .

Do a search on this site for the term "status quo" and you will find that it is most likely in your best interest to proceed with the motion to increase.

How much parenting time/access do you have and how long has it been in place?