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  • #1
    What are the respective access schedules like?
    Is there any difference in quality or reputation of school?

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    • #2
      Hi Iceberg. As you daughter receives regular chemo treatment, would it be plausible that the school location be in relative proximity to where she receives treatment? How often does she have to have chemo? Is it a fixed amount of time? This may or may not be relative depending upon if she receives her treatment on an outpatient basis.

      Just thought I'd throw that in to consider.

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      • #3
        There is no material change in circumstances as far as I can see. I can't for the life of me imagine that one would want to change a school because of a nephew.

        What about all the close relationships she has developed with the friends at her current school? That would be a far better argument to maintain the status quo imho. Also, who would want to uproot a child while she is already facing incredible health issues right now? Would it not stand to reason that the current arrangement is in her best interests at this present time?

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        • #4
          My son was hospitalized frequently when he was young (several times per year) due to an illness that he eventually grew out of. During those 2-3 week periods while he was hospitalized he had the option of attending school at the hospital. Because his elementary school was close to the hospital, his friends were able to visit with him and bring him homework and keep him up-to-date on school activities. It really helped him to stay connected with friends and school work. This might be something to consider.

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          • #5
            Originally posted by iceberg View Post
            "When the kid is in school from 8:30 to 3:30 why does she need that time off"?
            You are in the midst of a job search yourself, no? If you find one that pays well and offers hours of only 8:30 to 3:30 pm, let me know. I'll apply as well. I don't think you can use that argument to your benefit.

            And honestly, your child doesn't appear to be attending school this year. She is also young, and changing schools and creating new friendships in the early years is done often and on a regular basis by all families, both separated and intact. I wouldn't be relying on the past school status as an argument, either.

            I'd be concentrating on stopping her move any further from you. I forget, do you have any written agreement right now in place?
            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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            • #6
              Originally posted by iceberg View Post
              So,,,she is better off jobless?
              Argue it.. child with an illness.. yes, might be better off jobless no? And to be home taking care of the child? I'd buy that. Try to think of and prepare in advance for her strategy.

              Yes but there is 7 months of school left and she is expected to improve attendance. People change schools but courts sometimes tend to keep it status quo.
              Based on your posts over the last 2 weeks, where the daughter is standing in her window talking to you, I highly doubt that your ex has any intention of sending her to school for the balance of the term. And at this age, school is not considered a requirement/necessity, many families continue to keep their children at home. I'm just saying, you don't have a status quo with school attendance, I wouldn't rely on that argument.

              I cant stop her from moving. The agreement states "cannot move out of greater edmonton area", but that area is biiiiiig
              I'd probably refocus my attention on the particulars of your existing agreement. I'm sure when it was written/executed, there was no contemplation of leukemia in the horizon. I would think you might have grounds to argue a more restricted movement area, based on the "material change in circumstances" of a life threatening illness. Now is not the time when she should be moved, she is familiar with her surroundings, blah blah blah. I think you need to step back, step away from the cs, step away from the clothes exchange, step away from the school environment (which she has never honestly attended and even when she did, she was 5 and 5 year old kids move all the time), and focus on the written agreement now in place.

              Get yourself back to 50/50 and maintain it. I don't quite understand why you haven't filed a motion already, when the ex has been consistently denying your agreed-to written access for the last 6 months.
              Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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              • #7
                I would focus on stability and ease of access for your daughter's medical treatments in proximity to her school. If you live closer to the cancer clinic than the mother then that would be, to me, an obvious plus. Edmonton is geographically a large city. Schools closest to the cancer clinic are noted to be among the best in the city. You can get the academic stats from the Edmonton Public School Board.

                I don't believe you can say there is a change of material circumstance before the change has taken place. I believe the change, itself, has to have already happened.

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                • #8
                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  I don't believe you can say there is a change of material circumstance before the change has taken place. I believe the change, itself, has to have already happened.
                  And I would argue it has happened already with a leukemia diagnosis, and the change in material circumstances has already happened.

                  I truly believe, perhaps mistakenly, that he has grounds to amend their existing agreement and severely bind the ex re: movement so that due treatment of the child and involvement by both parents can take place.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                  • #9
                    Yes that would make sense McDreamy and failing that then maybe the Office of the Children's Guardian (or whatever they are called) could be invited into the foray. While the parents fight it out [no fault or jab intended to be directed at you Iceberg] the best interests of the child should be protected in this highly volatile situation.

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                    • #10
                      I live in Edmonton as well.
                      It's a large area indeed.

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                      • #11
                        Motorizer - on July 27th you posted to ignore me as a poster. Why are you on this thread? Aren't you "ignoring me" still?????

                        Bye

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                        • #12
                          Just curious - how do you know she is looking for houses outside of the city (or wherever)?

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                          • #13
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post
                            Motorizer - on July 27th you posted to ignore me as a poster. Why are you on this thread? Aren't you "ignoring me" still?????

                            Bye
                            Umm... Motorizer is replying to the thread... why did you assume they were replying to you? I could understand if this is your post, but it is my understanding that just because one "ignores" another member, does not mean they cannot view other threads?

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                            • #14
                              Ice, you have been denied your parental time. You have spoken to that several times over the last 3 months.

                              In addition, your child has a disease with regular maintenance requirements, and I'm presuming consistent daily status quo would not only assist her physical status, but also help maintain it.

                              Yes, I think denial of your parenting time 2 or 3 times is a detriment to not only your parenting the child during this difficult time, but also a detriment to the child's well being as she is not secure in her home surrounding as she could be, if she had the two parents working in conjunction.

                              And during this extremely stressful moment in time, both parents should be focused on her physical well being, instead of the clothes that she wears at attending physicians or clinics. See, I just changed the ex' wording around on her text message, didn't I? The one that you shouldn't have responded to.

                              The school, that she never really attends, has nothing to do with it, imo.

                              I think you should have filed a motion, oh about 2 months ago, for a change in material circumstances.
                              Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                              Comment


                              • #15
                                The thing many people don't realize is just how cold and miserable it gets in Edmonton in the winter. Just the other day it was -20. Transportation was shut down in all parts of the city. Roads were impassible.

                                The area that you say your ex might be moving to will take anywhere up to 1.5 hrs for travel, one way, to the cancer clinic in the winter time. That is assuming it isn't at rush hour. Why a parent would purposely look to move away from where child is going to be receiving regular medical treatment for next three years, is incomprehensible to me.

                                Comment

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