custody change

[BreakingPoint]

Custodial mom moves less than 100km from dad who has access once a month (Fri-Sun) holidays etc, and the child is 15 female and living with mom for 15 years. Dad is now seeking to change residence of child and get full custody. Dad also wants courts to make an order for mom to move back with child or have police remove child from the new home. Mom is married with two other children in her home.

Will the courts consider such a change this age, when the child hasn't lived with dad since she was 2? No disruption to his access either as the drive is approx 45-50min and mom will drive the child there and back.

OCL was involved from 2006-2009, can a request be made to the courts to have them involved again?

[standing on the sidelines]

how does the child feel about it?? If she likes the way they are then the father really doesnt stand a chance to change anything especailly when mom is going to do all the transportation.

[BreakingPoint]

Moved to the new place a month ago and child has made several new friends and still talks to her 2 close friends in the city. Even had 25 volunteer hrs completed at the local church a week after moving! Loves it at the new place. Hardly see her during the day (august school break) because she was hanging out with all the kids on her new street AND has already had a sleepover at a new friends house.

Child doesn't know about what dad has filed with thr courts, as he would use that against mom. He never talked to the child about the move.

[standing on the sidelines]

sounds like the child is settling in and thriving where she is. If I understand correctly the father only had one weekend a month with the daughter?? If he would have been more involved then that then he may have stood a chance. As it stands the courts would wonder why he didnt pursue getting more visitation before the move.

I dont think the courts would order a 15 year old to move anywhere she doesnt want to. The mother is willing to do all the driving so he cannot use that as a reason. If he wasnt that involved before then it seems like nothing is really changing except the residence.

I would just tell him to take it to court and leave it at that.

[murphyslaw]

Wow dad is a genius.I mean really!He doesnt ask the kid if she wants to stay with him ,has been a one weekend a month dad for 15yrs and now when she is settled in and really happy, he is going to go to court just to shit all over her parade.Since now she is old enough to make her own decisions she may very well never bother seeing dad again.When all money is wasted on court ,what is he going to get out of it?Nobody can force a 15yr old to do anything!

[Mess]

Wow dad is a genius.I mean really!He doesnt ask the kid if she wants to stay with him ,has been a one weekend a month dad for 15yrs and now when she is settled in and really happy, he is going to go to court just to shit all over her parade.Since now she is old enough to make her own decisions she may very well never bother seeing dad again.When all money is wasted on court ,what is he going to get out of it?Nobody can force a 15yr old to do anything!

We're getting one side of the story. What the dad is doing, genius or not, is what we recommend to parents here on the board when they are panicing about their ex moving 100km away with the child.

Was the dad consulted ahead of time? Was his opinion respected or dismissed? Was there an offer to compromise? Why did the CP have to move? Did he have a chance to speak with the daughter about it, or was it sprung on him at the last minute?

I agree he has little chance of success with the child being 15 and settled in. Let's not judge him too harshly unless we'd agree to let our kids be moved that far away from us.

[Teenwolf]

I don't believe the NCP has a chance with that motion. The CP is married with two other children, and the child in question has been with the CP all her life (15 years). The status quo for the child is with her mother, step father and step siblings. I can't see any judge "plucking" her from that. Certainly not sending in the police to remove her from the home. The child is also 15, so what she wants matters, and the judge will listen to her desires. Moving 100km away can be a problem because it may impede the NCP's access; however, he only spends one weekend a month with the child, and this hasn't changed. Therefore, his access is the same. For him to now cry full custody, after 15 years of minimal involvement, is ludicrous, IMO.

[standing on the sidelines]

We're getting one side of the story. What the dad is doing, genius or not, is what we recommend to parents here on the board when they are panicing about their ex moving 100km away with the child.

Was the dad consulted ahead of time? Was his opinion respected or dismissed? Was there an offer to compromise? Why did the CP have to move? Did he have a chance to speak with the daughter about it, or was it sprung on him at the last minute?

I agree he has little chance of success with the child being 15 and settled in. Let's not judge him too harshly unless we'd agree to let our kids be moved that far away from us.

I just wish the poster would clarify if the father only had access once a month or if that was suppose to be once a week. If it is only once a month then you have to wonder why he didnt have more.

If the parent is involved then yes moving that far away is not a good thing.

[murphyslaw]

If dad was super involved then why would he have access only once a month?Why is he fighting this now even though his ex is driving the distance to deliver the child for visitation?

[standing on the sidelines]

If dad was super involved then why would he have access only once a month?Why is he fighting this now even though his ex is driving the distance to deliver the child for visitation?

kinda sounds like a control thing. If he is willing to fight for this, why wouldnt he fight before this to see his child more???? Lots of unanswered questions with that. If he only saw the child once a month, what would change if the child moved back? If he doesnt have time or whatever to see the child now on a more regular basis then how can he handle having custody?? Its not like the guy lives in another country.

[BreakingPoint]

Since 2006 dad has access once a month Fri-Sun, one week vacation and holiday time. Doesn't call,text or email the child outside of his regular access but yet that was something he pushed for in court years ago. Dad didnt even go to daughters grade 8 graduation, but knew about it and never brought the subject up with the child.
Yes he was informed about the move.

[Teenwolf]

kinda sounds like a control thing. If he is willing to fight for this, why wouldnt he fight before this to see his child more???? Lots of unanswered questions with that. If he only saw the child once a month, what would change if the child moved back? If he doesnt have time or whatever to see the child now on a more regular basis then how can he handle having custody?? Its not like the guy lives in another country.

I agree, and his motion won't get him anywhere. Then again, as already mentioned, we're only getting one side of the story.

Since 2006 dad has access once a month Fri-Sun, one week vacation and holiday time. Doesn't call,text or email the child outside of his regular access but yet that was something he pushed for in court years ago. Dad didnt even go to daughters grade 8 graduation, but knew about it and never brought the subject up with the child.
Yes he was informed about the move.

Well, if this is the full story and entire truth, then you have nothing to worry about. The child will stay with mom, and mom won't be forced to move.

[murphyslaw]

At age 15 if the child wanted to call or txt dad ,she couldn't be stopped from doing so.Its definitely a control thing,not a caring parent thing.OR maybe its a really smart thing......He starts a war with his daughter over this and she fights back by refusing visitation and bingo he can try to wiggle out of paying CS.It was done before when a teen refused visitation so maybe that's what he is hoping for.

[Mess]

If dad was super involved then why would he have access only once a month?Why is he fighting this now even though his ex is driving the distance to deliver the child for visitation?

He is fighting over this now, not before, because now there is a material change in circumstance, so the the order can be reopened. It couldn't before. He may also have just become more informed about his options.

I doubt he is in any way a perfect parent - none of us are. If he wasn't feeling affected by all this, he wouldn't be taking any steps at all, so he is obviously not indifferent.