suggestions for email

[ringettteplayer]

Hi everyone,

I am moving to the same province as my childrens dad for employment. I am hoping to list my matrimonial home Monday.

My STBX does not know I am moving with our 3 children as he and I can not communicate effectively.

Should I email him that I/we are moving, how do I suggest, word, articulate this move. I know he won't object to us moving closer however will it/could it interfere with my status quo/ defacto custody. He has not had regular contact with our children nor has he visited them in 6 months. When I move does this open the door for joint custody do you think?

I am trying to make sure I am doing the right thing thanks for your suggestions everyone.

[murphyslaw]

You still are going to be four hours away anyway aren't you?What about your children's phone access?You will have to give him the new number so he can keep in contact with his kids.Have you gotten a lawyer set up in Alberta yet?I would have all the paperwork ready according to Alberta style and file it first day there.

[ringettteplayer]

yes of course I will they phone access, as well as they have email accessible from their ipod touches.

I by no if means or butts would alienate him as much as I don't want to be in his company, we still have children and I want them to know their dad, I am hoping he steps up and starts acting like one to them.

The reason I am so adimate about the custody is because he bullys frightens and intimidates me by threating me that is going to keep the children, when he did have a visit when I went to AB he constantly told the children that he was going to keep them and that mom would never know etc., I just want paperwork so then he can access them and I can enforce something should he not return the children to the at the set time. As when I did arrange a visit he kept me waiting for 2 hours with no response as to where they were.

[blinkandimgone]

Whether or not you get along or can communicate well, he has the right to know where his children are and will be. Of course you should tell him.

[arabian]

I tend to agree. Probably better to have the cards on the table before you actually leave the province. Hope things go smoothly. I wouldn't worry about his previous threats to take the kids as it sounds like he already has his hands full with the g/f's 6 children!

[ringettteplayer]

misunderstood

hi sorry i think i may have worded my concern improperly!!

I have every intention of telling my ex we are moving or residing in AB., of course i would this can increase his relationship with his children! total win win for them!

I am concerned from what some have implied to me is that he could order me and the children back to ON? or forbid me to move? they have implied that I need to have his approval or consent to move? He rarely communicates with us and never comes here...i was looking for a way to diplomactically tell him that we were moving to AB so he was aware. I just didn't think I needed to as I am moving closer to him and he chose to leave this province for another one, and simply left us behind with no seperation agreement or anything!

I believe I have status quo as it has been 6 months since he left.I believe I have defacto custody, however does this change simply because I move closer to him?
Does he have rights should I enrol the children in school etc., what can he do about it is basically my concerns. thanks

[Mess]

He can't order you back or tell you where to live.

He may have some say in moving the children and where they live. HE HAS TO HAVE REASONS THAT MAKE SENSE. If you were moving the children further away, this isn't carved in stone as a reason to stop a move; he would have to show that the move is not in the children's best interests, that it damages their relationship him, etc.

The only way he could dispute a move closer to him, would be if there was a specific reason why they would not thrive in the area you were moving to, for example if it were physically dangerous or completely isolated. I don't mean this casually, it would have to be an extreme instance.

The thing to realize is that moving the kids is not against the law in itself. If you want to move and he can show some reason why it's bad for the kids, then he has a case. In general, if a parent tries to move very far away and the other parent has regular access and would lose it, this can be a reason to stop the move. It is not the move, it is the consequences of the move.

[ringettteplayer]

moving

Thank you Mess! I am just trying to do right by my children and put my differences aside from him and give it a good honest attempt at them knowing or reconnecting with him. He will have to step up once I move. The rest will be up to him and how involved he chooses to be. I am happy to have a new job and a new place to live etc., Thanks I am hoping my lawyer sees my arguement as well.,