Support Order Question

[spd_demon]

Hi all,

I was wondering if a mother can get a support order without the input or engaging the other parent? I am the step-father of an 18 year old who has moved out numerous times and is now back at her moms place. Now the mom is asking me for support again. I want to make sure we get in front of a judge before that happens. I am suspecting that she is trying to get income from various sources (welfare, CS, disability etc.). I also suspect that the daughter is collecting social assistance and that the mom is charging her rent and now wants CS on top of that. The loop holes in the system make me sick. Thanks in advance.

[Mess]

Just to be clear, you were once in a relationship with the child's mother; the mother has sought support from you before for the child?

Was the earlier support you paid due to a court order? If not, did you pay regularly or as a one-time thing to help out?

The step-daughter has lived with you periodically? How long? What pecentage of time? Did the mother pay you child support during these periods?

Is the child in school full-time? Are they going to be in school full-time in September (they would need to be registered by now.)

What is the status with the child's birth father? Does the father pay support?

As a step-parent you MAY be responsible for support, you can google in loco parentis. This obligation is not automatic, it needs to be established in court, but if your duty is obvious it might be a waste to fight it.

If you paid support regularly in the past, this is acceptance of your role in the child's life, so it works against arguing support now.

If you paid an occasional lump-sum, then this doesn't establish an obligation.

If the child is not in school full time, and not going to school full time this fall, they are no longer a "child of the marriage" and no support should be paid.

If the child lived with you previously for extended periods and the mother paid no support, you could argue that she owes retroactive support.

Whether she is "double dipping" with welfare, etc. etc. is not your concern. You can argue whether you pay child support and how much. If the child is in school you can argue that you would pay the amount directly to the child, especially since you believe she is paying rent to the mother.

The ex cannot go to court for an order without serving you, however you must insure that she has your address, etc.

[spd_demon]

Just to be clear, you were once in a relationship with the child's mother; the mother has sought support from you before for the child?

** Yes I was married to her and was paying support up until April 2012 when the child moved out of her care so support ended (she turned 18 and quit school). Was with her for 7 years.

Was the earlier support you paid due to a court order? If not, did you pay regularly or as a one-time thing to help out?

** Yes was court ordered, paying guideline amount, never missed a payment.

The step-daughter has lived with you periodically? How long? What pecentage of time? Did the mother pay you child support during these periods?

** No step-daughter has lived with mom.

Is the child in school full-time? Are they going to be in school full-time in September (they would need to be registered by now.)

** Not sure, still trying to determine this. Has not finished high school and quites frequently. She might be taking "adult" day school or co-op.

What is the status with the child's birth father? Does the father pay support?

** No, birth father has never been in the picture.

As a step-parent you MAY be responsible for support, you can google in loco parentis. This obligation is not automatic, it needs to be established in court, but if your duty is obvious it might be a waste to fight it.

** I'm only trying to fight it as I know what they are up to. The mom has only asked the step-daughter to move back home so she can get CS. Once that happens (I found out from step-daughter), the mother is moving away and the step-daughter is getting her own place with her partner. This will make it really difficult for me to stop CS once this happens. Mother is essentially trying to gain additional income. I only want to deal with the step-daughter directly to make sure she gets the support she needs.

If you paid support regularly in the past, this is acceptance of your role in the child's life, so it works against arguing support now.

** There is a lot of history here. The mother did not enforce the child going to school so she could extend CS for longer. Sad to say but true as she did this with my second step-child years ago. I had to pay till he was 21 when he moved out at 19. Took me 2 years to track her down to stop support payments.

If you paid an occasional lump-sum, then this doesn't establish an obligation.

If the child is not in school full time, and not going to school full time this fall, they are no longer a "child of the marriage" and no support should be paid.

If the child lived with you previously for extended periods and the mother paid no support, you could argue that she owes retroactive support.

Whether she is "double dipping" with welfare, etc. etc. is not your concern. You can argue whether you pay child support and how much. If the child is in school you can argue that you would pay the amount directly to the child, especially since you believe she is paying rent to the mother.

The ex cannot go to court for an order without serving you, however you must insure that she has your address, etc.

Thanks for your assistance and guidane. I'm being taken for a ride and I don't like it.