daycare costs?

[Canadaguy]

ex is on maternity leave with new child from new husband. Said she will no longer pay for daycare and will not take our child there anymore and that she will not pay anything if I require daycare services myself on my time and that if I choose to use a daycare provider over her it is at my cost.

Our agreement has a babysitting statement that we will use each other first and that if we use someone else we will inform the other parent.

Is she cost responsible as per S7 expenses or not?

[cbarker78]

I think you answered your own question..... she's home and telling you she's available; your agreement says you will use the other if they're available; so I think if you go ahead and use a paid service (babysitter or daycare) then you're doing so on your own dime...... why would she be responsible for those costs you incurred?

[Mess]

Because childcare is a section 7 expense by legislated definition, there is no wiggle room like with piano lessons.

Giving her the option of "babysitting" is fine if she can guarentee that she will always be available. If not, then there is a waiting list for qualified, licensed childcare. It's not available on a casual basis. If you register your child you can't just pull them in and out depending on mom's availability.

[NBDad]

You pay for the SPOT not for the child in most licensed daycares. It's a legit section 7. If you use it and have the child for over 40% of the time, then she has to pay it.

[SingingDad]

If you have a right of first refusal clause in your SA it should be honoured. Take the stance that it is preferable for one of the child's parents to look after them rather than a third party.

If you have to continue to pay for the daycare spot to secure it for your child for when she is no longer on mat leave, you are both required to split that cost under section 7. The expense has nothing to do with the child's attendance.

If you do not have to continue to pay to hold the spot what's the problem? If it creates a difficult driving situation ask that she split the difference with you. Do your best to find something that works for both of you.

[HammerDad]

If you have a right of first refusal clause in your SA it should be honoured.

Right of First Refusal clauses carry no weight when it comes to daycare expenses for work. I've been around long enough to see guys with flexible schedules get reemed out by judges saying just that.

Like was mentioned, daycare is for the spot and such spots are not guaranteed unless the child is there on a regular schedule. So if you become erratic with using them, they can cancel your spot and then you're in a bind.

[Mess]

I'll add that a proper, licensed daycare is Early Childhood Education, it is pre-school, it is a learning and socializing environment. It does not replace parenting, it supplements it. It is a positive experience for children provided by experienced, well-trained, educated, and caring professionals. If it is casual babysitting, there is nothing wrong with that, but that should be subordinate to parenting. ECE isn't just babysitting, there is a purpose and intent to it. Both of my children were in ECE while we were still married and thrived.

I've watched some of my neighbours sitting and chatting all day on the phone or with friends while their kids play by themselves. That's one parenting style, and I'm not out to condemn, but I don't think it's always a black and white "children should always be with a parent." Children should be where they are going to be stimulated and grow. That can be a variety of circumstances.

[Canadaguy]

I agree Mess, ECE pre-school is very important and pulling a child out of that because you do not wish to pay is not best for the child.

There has to be some balance between pre-school and parenting. I remember when I was a child I went to pre-school 3 times a week and home with my parent the other two days before starting school. Good balance. It came at a price, but was important in my socializing and development stage.

[naz]

Yes but my ex has my son in school during the day and then daycare till 9 p.m. at night. I work straight days and could be with him after school but she denies my that. So somethings need to be looked at.