Beneficiary in Trust?

[naz]

My ex and I were in a 4 year common-law relationship. We have been seperated for over a year and she was seeking full custody of our 4 year old son. She told the courts that she was the only one to care for him since we seperated. She did not know I had been keeping a journal of the time I spent with my son (which was 3 to 4 times a week) so she agreed to joint custody with primary residence at her house. She said she was told to shoot for the moon. Now she is asking for to be named beneficary in trust for my son , for my life insurance and pension. I have a friend who is a chartered accountant and had been named as trustee for my son and my other son from a different relationship. he is instructed to continue support payments and invest the rest untill my kids turn 18 for university or 21 if they chose not to go to university. She does not agree to this and believes she has a right to be in control of that money. So my question is, will the court make me change it to her name or can I name who i want to watch over my money if I pass? My problem is she lied to the courts about me being in my son's life. She has lied to the courts about her income and she has falsified her income taxes so she can get more money from the goverment. She has a goverment debt to pay also and relies on her mother to support her with the promise of paying her back. I do not want her to have control of money intended for my kids future, because i do not believe it will be there when they need it. Let me know Thx.

[knackered]

I have had the same type of situation happen to me. We settled out of court at a 4 way meeting between us and our lawyers. Both lawyers agreed that I had to name her as beneficiary in trust to the kids.
So she is added, but it is only as long as the kids are eligible for child support, once they are no longer eligible, I will be changing it out of her name and in to someone else's.

[naz]

Thanks for the reply.I'd like to ask, were you married in this situation?

[knackered]

Yes, unfortunately I am still married to her.
Don't have the finances to get a divorce right now, as I am going in to further debt each month with the child support, babysitting, extracurricular expenses that I have to give her.

(I agree all of that needs to be paid, it is for the kids! But I have one f#cked up case, where she has got away with illegally taking a lot of money from me since our initial split---over $70,000 since 2008...so I've been in the negatives since I split and can never recover because of all the expenses that I also legally have to pay her----She is a pro at manipulating the system!)

[billiechic]

I dont think there is any reason why you should have to name her beneficiary in trust. My mom is my child's beneficiary in trust, for basically the same reasons.
I would show your ex the documentated instructions that you have given your accountant and that should be enough to satisfy the court that you have made sufficient arrangements to care for your kids just in case.
She is NOT entiltled to have control of your contributions, until they are paid to her in her monthly CS installments. The money is to pay for the daily care for your children, and she has no right to monies that are left to the kids. What you have done is the responsible thing to make sure that there is ongoing care for your kids, no matter what happens.

[HammerDad]

I don't believe there is a reason for her to be a beneficiary the funds in trust for the child. Being a beneficiary, she would be entitled to use them as she sees fit with limited recourse, save for the child who is the ultimate beneficiary and she would have a fiduciary duty to for her to manage the funds responsibly (ie. if she wastes them on trips etc. the child could sue her once they come of age). What may be reasonable is that she be one of the trustees of a trust established for the benefit of the child.

Generally there are 3 trustees. So her, a member of your family and another impartial person (maybe your lawyer). You set it up that she may withdraw X amount of dollars equal to child support each month with only her signature and any amount exceeding c/s would require 2 signatures and receipts (ie. for s7 expenses).

It is also provided that once the child is 21 (or whatever) the remaining funds are to be distributed to the child for their sole use and enjoyment.

[today]

i also did not name my ex it is a family member. as long as child is looked after why should it matter who is named?