Asking for comments on my draft response letter

[Margaret-Krupa]

Hello everyone,
I once again ask for your help. I posted a thread two days ago re: Separation Agreement is this one acceptable. I have read all your responses very carefully and took them to heart. I do not have money to see a lawyer so you are my best advice. Here is my draft reply to my EX lawyer's initial letter outlining Separation Agreement issues:
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via FACSIMILE TO:
and regular Mail
Mississauga, Ontario
L5B 1S3
Dear Ms. S....:

Re: K.......... and M.... K....
Separation

I acknowledge receipt of your letter dated April 11, 2012. The letter was delivered to my on April 16, 2012.
You request I submit my response to the above mentioned letter by April 30, 2012 by 4:00 p.m. or Mr. K will consider commencing a Court Application. Unfortunately, I am not in a position to respond to your letter in full in a two weeks timeframe. This matter is of significant importance in my and our children's life and requires my careful consideration. As you know our matrimonial home has been sold and closing is less than two months from today. I am engaged in many tasks with regards to arranging moving and packing as well as searching for accommodation, medical care, schooling for both Conrad and Alex. I am also in the process of arranging medical treatment for myself at St. Joseph Hospital in Hamilton. In this situation it is impossible for me to make sound decisions in this sensitive and extremely important matter.
I will be able to properly respond to your letter before end of July, 2012.
Today, I can only comment on item no. 5 in your letter regarding our Honda Civic and furniture. In your letter you say that "Your husband will keep the 2002 Honda and tools, while you will have a choice of most of the furniture and contents of the home." Reference to furniture and contents as "most" does not have any legal merit. I ask that you change this fraze to "all furniture and contents of the home" or list each item which Mr. K feels I can take with me.
Should I not hear from you by April 30, 2012 I will understand that you are in agreement with my requests. Should you need to contact me please do not hesitate to do so. I can be reached via telephone at 905 333 6209 or e-mail at: m.kwiatkowska@sympatico.ca
Yours truly,

I thank each one of you who is willing to give me advise and comment on this draft.
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[hadenough]

There are several typos that need fixing in this draft, for starters. Is that your email addr and ph #? You should edit those out on a public forum such as this (or any) one. But if that is your email, pls confirm (then edit it out w/your #) and I can send you an email and at least fix the typos and some of the wording.

[Fam Law]

Excellent advice from 'hadenough'. Please follow through on this asap. Thanks for looking out for us juniors!

[Pursuinghappiness]

Yes, I agree with what hadenough said.

Just note that you have your pic up and that this is a public forum....so anything you say here ...just like facebook or myspace, etc...can be potentially linked to you and used. Most posters use screen names and try to keep personal details somewhat to a minimum...especially ones going through litigation.

I know its tough when you're going through this stuff and need advice on a specific set of circumstances but you may want to be a bit more guarded with your personal information.

Best wishes on trying to settle. I think any time that divorcing couples can get things done out of court its both wise and lucky.

[HammerDad]

Personally, I would remove all personal information you've posted here unless you want to open yourself up to possible identity theft issues/spam/your ex reading it etc....

[Pursuinghappiness]

Personally, I would remove all personal information you've posted here unless you want to open yourself up to possible identity theft issues/spam/your ex reading it etc....

lol...For some reason I find the idea that someone would want to steal an identity in a divorce forum ironic....since we're all broke from legal bills.

If anyone steals mine, I hope they go to court for me.

(with my luck: Someone would steal my identity then return it about a month later with a note that says "no thank you!")

[Margaret-Krupa]

Personally, I would remove all personal information you've posted here unless you want to open yourself up to possible identity theft issues/spam/your ex reading it etc....

Thank you HammerDad!!!! I really appreciate your comment which other Forum members also have done. I have contacted the administrator to do this for me because I was not allowed by the system to remove it myself. THANK YOU everyone! It was my mistake - I was not careful enough copying and pasting my letter from MS Word.

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[hadenough]

Will someone steal mine please lol? I'd love for someone to step in my shoes and take the beating I have, present and future

Yes MK. Definitely refrain from including such specific info.

So seriously (lol), who wants to be ME? Step right up

[wretchedotis]

Will someone steal mine please lol? I'd love for someone to step in my shoes and take the beating I have, present and future

Yes MK. Definitely refrain from including such specific info.

So seriously (lol), who wants to be ME? Step right up

Gladly trade you beatings. You have to take mine. It would be a trade.

Certainly yours can't be worse than the drama I face all too often.

[Margaret-Krupa]

Hello everyone, if someone can be kind enough to advise me how I can contact the Administrator directly and ask him to remove my personal information from this post I would appreciate it a million! I sent two messages to the administrator with this request and I can see that my personal info has not been removed yet. Please send me a private message or post your comment here. Thank you.
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[RemarriedDadof2]

Few suggestions....

Hey,

I've been where you are Margaret-Krupa. I initially started out with a lawyer during the initial separation phase. Now that I'm out of money, I'm representing myself (trying to get more access to my kids). I'll offer some general suggestions on the house.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

"I will be able to properly respond to your letter before end of July, 2012".
Don't box yourself in. Leave things open. I suggest: "Due to aforementioned circumstances, I will attempt to respond to your letter before end of July, 2012."

You quoted other lawyer's letter: "Your husband will keep the 2002 Honda and tools, while you will have a choice of most of the furniture and contents of the home."
First of all are you ok with ex keeping the car and tools? What condition is this car in? How many "tools" are we talking about here? A Canadian Tire 5-screwdriver set is worth nothing. A garage full of auto tools (especially if there are air tools) are potentially worth lots of $$. Lookup the Kelly Blue Book value for the car, find out (if you can) how many tools are being kept by ex) and ensure you are getting a fair trade with the furniture and house contents. No offence intended, but used furniture is worth almost nothing. Ensure you are getting a fair deal.

"I ask that you change this phrase to "all furniture and contents of the home" or list each item which Mr. K feels I can take with me." Should I not hear from you by April 30, 2012 I will understand that you are in agreement with my requests." I agree with you that ex's lawyer should change the terminology, but the burden of proof (so to speak) should be put on the ex. Let ex's lawyer detail what he wants. Anything not detailed is fair game. Anything detailed that you want is up for negotiation. However a lack of response cannot be used as agreement or consent to anything. So I would take out the last part about them being in agreement if they don't respond. (As a side note, although some lawyers may try this against you, a lack of response on your side doesn't constitute an agreement either.) Just request that they respond by a given date.

That's my advice. Hope it is helpful.

Wish you all the best...

[standing on the sidelines]

if i got a letter saying i had two weeks to respond to requests and in the same letter the person says they will respond to the orginal letter in 3 months I would tell them to stuff it. More fair for each to have the same time frames to respond to things.

[Margaret-Krupa]

Hey,

I've been where you are Margaret-Krupa. I initially started out with a lawyer during the initial separation phase. Now that I'm out of money, I'm representing myself (trying to get more access to my kids). I'll offer some general suggestions on the house.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

"I will be able to properly respond to your letter before end of July, 2012".
Don't box yourself in. Leave things open. I suggest: "Due to aforementioned circumstances, I will attempt to respond to your letter before end of July, 2012."

You quoted other lawyer's letter: "Your husband will keep the 2002 Honda and tools, while you will have a choice of most of the furniture and contents of the home."
First of all are you ok with ex keeping the car and tools? What condition is this car in? How many "tools" are we talking about here? A Canadian Tire 5-screwdriver set is worth nothing. A garage full of auto tools (especially if there are air tools) are potentially worth lots of $$. Lookup the Kelly Blue Book value for the car, find out (if you can) how many tools are being kept by ex) and ensure you are getting a fair trade with the furniture and house contents. No offence intended, but used furniture is worth almost nothing. Ensure you are getting a fair deal.

"I ask that you change this phrase to "all furniture and contents of the home" or list each item which Mr. K feels I can take with me." Should I not hear from you by April 30, 2012 I will understand that you are in agreement with my requests." I agree with you that ex's lawyer should change the terminology, but the burden of proof (so to speak) should be put on the ex. Let ex's lawyer detail what he wants. Anything not detailed is fair game. Anything detailed that you want is up for negotiation. However a lack of response cannot be used as agreement or consent to anything. So I would take out the last part about them being in agreement if they don't respond. (As a side note, although some lawyers may try this against you, a lack of response on your side doesn't constitute an agreement either.) Just request that they respond by a given date.

That's my advice. Hope it is helpful.

Wish you all the best...

Thank you very much RemarriedDadof2. I really appreciate your input. I am making changes to my letter and I have also consulted a lawyer yesterday ( I consider myself lucky to have found a lawyer willing to give me a free consultation and I was really impressed that he did not try to "push" me into any legal wrangling but suggested I resolve this issue quickly by agreeing to most of what my husband wants. I am however, not sure if this is what I should do so I am consulting another lawyer next week - two opinions is better than one, yes?) and he suggested that I do not ask for such a long extension but simply write that I will respond at a later date. I am not sure if I want to do that. But I thank you again for your suggestions!
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[Margaret-Krupa]

if i got a letter saying i had two weeks to respond to requests and in the same letter the person says they will respond to the orginal letter in 3 months I would tell them to stuff it. More fair for each to have the same time frames to respond to things.

Good point! I do not know why I did not think of that - I admit it would sound quite rude on my part! Thank you for mentioning this to me!
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[Margaret-Krupa]

I can see that my personal information still has not been removed from my post dated April 18, 2012. It has been almost a week now! I wonder if anyone knows how to contact the Administrator/Moderator via telephone or email directly?
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