Offer to settle. Help with s few sections.

[hadenough]

Definite Improvement! Still not "enforceable" but sounds reasonable enough. My son was introduced to ex's new partner in a HORRIBLE way. (And a couple of fling relationships he had met on-line too!!) So I do understand "where" your intentions lie. I'd like to believe most people have the common sense to properly introduce new partners, but the fact is that some do NOT.

Good Luck!

[SingingDad]

just take that section out totally. Why do you insist on putting it in?? You cannot dictate common sense so stop trying to.

I thought if you pay ss monthly then you can claim it on your taxes, if you pay a lump sum you cant. I am not sure so best to check

It's a topic that I feel needs to be addressed, I realize that I can't dictate common sense but I want it mentioned in the agreement.

You are correct about the spousal support, but the amount I am offering is the net benefit and accounts for the tax implications.

[standing on the sidelines]

just take that section out totally. Why do you insist on putting it in?? You cannot dictate common sense so stop trying to.

I thought if you pay ss monthly then you can claim it on your taxes, if you pay a lump sum you cant. I am not sure so best to check

[SingingDad]

For those who (rightfully) criticized the Introduction of new partners section... how about this revision.


4.27 INTRODUCING NEW PARTNERS

The Applicant and Respondent acknowledge that it is important for the children to be afforded an opportunity to adjust to their separation, their new homes and the parenting schedule to which has been agreed.

They both acknowledge the importance of new partners being introduced to the children in a healthy way and when the children are emotionally ready and able to accept a new partner for either or both parents.

Accordingly the parties agree to the following:
(a) Neither parent will introduce a new partner to the children within 3 months of the signing of this document.
(b) Both parents agree to talk to the children before introducing a new partner to them.
(c) The parties agree to notify each other if they intend to start co-habiting with a new partner.

[SingingDad]

Sorry if this is bad form to bump a thread, but it slipped to the next page and I was hoping to get some more responses.

[SingingDad]

What do people think about the wording of the lump sum sections? Our the contract between parents?

[SingingDad]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

The method for introducing new partners was something my lawyer suggested I think about. I wrote it knowing it may not be wholly enforceable, but was trying to spell out common sense. It was also intended to let my ex know I want going to introduce my new gf before the kids were ready and the situation was right. I may keep it as a velcro section to take our completely if it is an issue, but will consider removing it completely.

As for the comments about cs. I should mention that I have section 7 expenses continuing until the kids have finished their first post secondary program or reach the age of 24 (which ever comes first). I realize that I may be three residential parent by the point cs ends and the section was not intended to punish the residential parent, but set a limit to when cs payments end. The FRO section comes from a conversation I had south my ex where she indicated she want enthused with going though FRO right now either, but it doesn't need to be there.

Any idea how to reword the ending of cs?

[CCB]

I would remove the section about introducing new partners completely. If I received something like that I would say "frig you" LOL. Makes it more difficult to negotiate when someone's pissed off.

I wouldn't include the part about FRO. My husband signed up for our MEP so that his ex-wife could never again claim that he didn't pay her.

[hadenough]

Waaaay too controlling Buddy, and the "meet the (potential) new partner rules and regs" are totally not enforceable. You have ZERO control over how/when/where this happens.

In other areas: too vague/contradictory leaving the whole agreement wide open to (mis)interpretation.

I'm sure your intentions are all good, but you need to narrow down the issues. Too much micro-managing going on...

[Rioe]

Child support requirements will cease at 12:01 am the day each child reaches the age of majority, but shall not affect the amount of any support payment required to be made the first day of the month in which they reach the age of majority.
G. The parties agree to support the children, as necessary, after they reach the age of majority but it will be done individually and not in association with the Ontario child support tables.

I think this is probably going to be a problem. It very much deviates from standard procedure. Separation agreements usually have a phrase that says CS ends when the child ceases to be a child of the marriage, and there are several conditions listed that must be met for this to happen. Also, I don't believe you can deviate from the tables; the receiving parent can always take you to court and a judge will reinstate them no matter what your agreement says.

You can't predict what could happen to your children, or where they'll live when they turn 18. You think that just because they turn 18, suddenly they're self-supporting adults and don't need the help of both parents anymore, but only the one they happen to be living with? That's pretty unfair to the parent who still has to clothe and feed them and drive them around and pay for the hot water for their massive showers etc. The expense of raising a child doesn't automatically end when they turn 18, so why should one parent's obligation suddenly cease? The residential parent is not going to start charging the child room and board for an 18th birthday present. It seems like you're trying to financially punish the residential parent (which could be you, you know) for not kicking the child onto the street at age 18. You try to account for this with part G, but it's way too vague. It works fine if the child moves out, but what if post-secondary education is involved? What if the child is injured in a horrible accident and needs long-term care and can't get a job and keeps living at home.

[standing on the sidelines]

Why even include this? Its not enforceable and is silly in reality since you're both going to ultimately decide how this happens on your own without input from the other person anyway. What if your ex introduces a new partner at a non-neutral location (whatever the hell that means)...what are you going to do about it? Nothing...so why bother? Anything that doesn't have legal relevance or enforceability both pointless and a potential for conflict.

To me, delete the whole section...waste of paper.

totally argree, it reeks of controlling the other person.

I would also remove the clause about FRO. To say first that either parent will not go that route at the time of signing but in the next clause say that either parent can involve FRO at anytime is going against that. Its something I would take out.

it says that CS support ends at age of majority, i would put an acutal age there but where is the part about post secondary education?? You just put that each parent can individually support child after age of majority.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Accordingly the parties agree to the following:
A. No new partner will be introduced to the children unless the relationship is stable and one which is considered as potentially long term.
B. New partners will be initially introduced to the children in a neutral location (e.g. Dinner out, concert, movie etc.).
C. Neither parent will permit any new partner to sleep over at his/her home while having custody of the children until at least one month (30 days) after initial introduction to the children and the new partner has had 4 prolonged interactions with the children.
D. The parents agree to notify each other if they plan to start cohabitating with a new partner.
E. Neither parent will introduce a new partner to the children within 6 months of the signing of this document.
F. Each parent will ultimately have final decision making authority in relation to the introduction of new partners to the children.

Why even include this? Its not enforceable and is silly in reality since you're both going to ultimately decide how this happens on your own without input from the other person anyway. What if your ex introduces a new partner at a non-neutral location (whatever the hell that means)...what are you going to do about it? Nothing...so why bother? Anything that doesn't have legal relevance or enforceability both pointless and a potential for conflict.

To me, delete the whole section...waste of paper.

[SingingDad]

Please don't judge any mistakes in this post as I wrote the whole thing in my phone.

I wasn't sure how to do an offer to settle so I wrote it as a separation agreement. After a preamble where I state who we are, identify our children, and a preamble about the intent of the document. I then have some joint, could centric, statements about the importance parent-child relationships, stability, consistency etc. I then have 4 main sections: custody, parenting schedule, parenting provisions and financial considerations.

The custody section is short and sweet. Shared legal custody, shared physical custody specifying 50/50.

Parenting schedule I'm pretty solid with, I had to be specific on a lot of stuff because of how contentious this separation has been. I talked about holidays, vacations, birthdays, pd days, child illnesses, who gets to chose what when how to ask for a deviation from the schedule and so forth.

Parenting provisions I'm ok except a couple sections. I want to specify how and when each of us would be able to attend at each others residence ie with permission, for exchanges, emergency situations etc. but am not sure how to word it. I also want to set out a process for introducing new partners to the kids. This is what I have for those sections:


CONTACT BETWEEN PARENTS

A. Primary contact between the parents shall be through email or text message.
B. Phone communication will be used in emergency situations or if there is a time sensitive issue that needs to be discussed.
C. There shall be no unnecessary communication between the parents while one or the other is at work/school.
D. The parties agree that neither shall attend the other’s residence unless:
i. It is for the purpose of dropping off or picking up the children;
ii.There is an emergency situation regarding one or more of the children, or the other parent; or
iii. They have the expressed permission and invitation of the other parent.

Schedule and Method for Introducing New Partners

The Applicant and Respondent acknowledge that it is important for the children to be afforded an opportunity to adjust to their separation, their new homes and the parenting schedule to which has been agreed.

They both acknowledge the importance of new partners being introduced to the children in a healthy way and when the children are emotionally ready and able to accept a new partner for either or both parents.

Accordingly the parties agree to the following:
A. No new partner will be introduced to the children unless the relationship is stable and one which is considered as potentially long term.
B. New partners will be initially introduced to the children in a neutral location (e.g. Dinner out, concert, movie etc.).
C. Neither parent will permit any new partner to sleep over at his/her home while having custody of the children until at least one month (30 days) after initial introduction to the children and the new partner has had 4 prolonged interactions with the children.
D. The parents agree to notify each other if they plan to start cohabitating with a new partner.
E. Neither parent will introduce a new partner to the children within 6 months of the signing of this document.
F. Each parent will ultimately have final decision making authority in relation to the introduction of new partners to the children.


I'm having the most trouble with the financial section as I want to make some lump sum payments and don't wasn't the amounts revisited, and I wanted to make sure when cs
ended. Here is what I have so far:

CHILD SUPPORT

A. The Applicant agrees to pay the Respondent child support in accordance with the Ontario child support tables.
B. The Respondent agrees to pay the Applicant child support in accordance with the Ontario child support tables.
C. The parties will use an offset calculation to determine the net amount of child support to be paid each month.
D. The amount of child support will be based on their reported incomes on line 150 of their Federal Income Tax returns, but shall also include any Government subsidies received, that are not reported on a Federal Income Tax return, that reduce the basic costs of living (ex. rent-geared-to-income).
E. Calculated child support amounts will be paid on a July though June basis.
The parties shall disclose all financial documentation to each other no later than June 15th of each year.
F. The parties will declare all income sources on their Federal Income Tax returns.
Child support requirements will cease at 12:01 am the day each child reaches the age of majority, but shall not affect the amount of any support payment required to be made the first day of the month in which they reach the age of majority.
G. The parties agree to support the children, as necessary, after they reach the age of majority but it will be done individually and not in association with the Ontario child support tables.
H. Should the expected income for either parent change by more than 10% of the amount on line 150 of their Federal income tax return from the previous year, it will be disclosed to the other parent and the child support payment will be adjusted accordingly.
I. The parties agree to not involve the Family Responsibility Office (FRO) for the payment and receiving of child support at this time.
J. Either parent may decide to involve the FRO at any time for any reason.

SPOUSAL SUPPORT

The Applicant agrees to a Spousal Support Release, and further the parties agree to a lump sum payment from the Respondent to the Applicant in the amount of $ xxxxxx to settle the spousal support issue. This represents the net benefit with respect to Applicant’s requested monthly spousal support made in the amended application. The parties agree that this will be the only spousal support payment made by either party and that no further claim can be made by either parent.


Division of property

The Respondent agrees to pay the Applicant a transfer payment of $xxxxxxx as a final and binding amount for the division of any and all remaining joint items, assets, and liabilities including but not limited to, any remaining joint items remaining in the former joint residence, the Respondent’s pension, and any debts accrued during the marriage.