Tweet
Hi all, first post, hopefully you can share some insight...
My situation (sorry it’s lengthy):
-My ex-wife (referred to as EW) and I got together in 2007, I became an instant father figure to her 2 children (6 and 3), their father her ex husband of 2 years (referred as EH) was less than supportive. After several months of dating and began to have doubts and attempted to leave. EW held the children I had grown to love as a tether to keep me around.
-We lived in separate houses
-Early 2008 my EW got pregnant (unplanned), after the initial shock we were both very excited (having twins).
-We bought a house together (help from my father for down payment and start up costs)
-I became sole income, EW stayed at home with children.
-Old fashion values, I proposed, we planned our wedding for mid 2009.
-Relationship was not perfect, had our arguments, money, child care (access and support EH)
-Twins were born; things were good for a number of months
-Wedding got closer, stress level rose and relationship went back to rollercoaster of arguments/happiness/arguments, etc
-Wedding…shortly after my mother asked my EW why she married me...rift between my parents, EW and I...EW and I went to counseling which my EW thought was waste of time (3 sessions).
-2010 - EW began “at home babysitting” and “photography business”, bought 'needed' laptop with 'joint money' I was still main income and was main transportation for photography business
-Over the course of 2010 I began to second guess my role in the family, sole income, sole 'parent' (would have to discipline children from work over phone since EW could not handle them), growing stress concerning relations with EW and EH (EH’s had new girlfriend who my EW did not like...however VERY positive for children)
-Increased stress placed on step kids from EW - witness arguments between her and EH, children used as leverage by EW...
-Winter 2010 - relations with step children at all time low, behavioral issues, I was not supported in parent role, and all disciplinary choices were undermined
-I was awarded a transfer for work, entire family planned to relocate to North Bay area.
-Found out EW was having online affair with boyfriend.
-Feb 2011 - EW booked trip, I had suspicious on destination, EW failed to advice babysitting clients of her vacation,
-Day before EW’s trip, EH advised that he believe our home is not positive environment for the old children (my step kids), EH advised he will not return after current access.
-EW takes trip and (to my suspicion) went to visit boyfriend, I learn from EH that the EW current boyfriend is the same man that EW left previous marriage for.
-I called off marriage and moved out of residence with twins (went to parents).
-Continued with planned relocation to North Bay area, twins remained with my parents in Ottawa area and I commuted every 4 days to my parents to continue father role.
-Consulted legal advise, I did not have the capital to begin separation process.
-Had very little communication with EW, all conversations were one sided arguments, EW returned from vacation and relocated to city of Ottawa.
-May 2011 I'm pleased to announce that EW and I attempted reconciliation. Relations went badly when I realized that I was being forced to make all the compromises and my EW was not willing to cooperate. When I advised her of my feelings, she ended up calling police on me. Domestic situation in front of twins, I left the location with the twins to reduce negative contact. EW claimed she was assaulted; police did not act on her claims. Police suggested EW has dangerous mental health issues and urged me to have no further communication. CAS investigated and found that I acted in best interested of children.
-I received a transfer back to the Ottawa area, the twins and I moved back into the matrimonial home (I had been carrying all expenses although residence was empty).
-I have been primary care giver to the twins since August. My parents have assisted with babysitting (among other paid services) during my work hours.
-Over the course of the past year, EW has had no contact with my step kids since Feb 2011, missed 3 birthdays.
-EW has had limited contact with twins (now 3 ½) since May. She has not made ANY effort to see the children. She has tested and called me since August, with a high frequency over Christmas and into January 2012. Her demeanor in text messages and voicemails has been belligerent, aggressive and uncooperative.
-Twins refer to EW as “mommy bad, yelled at my daddy” I want the twins to have a positive memory/relationship with their mother therefore they are told that “mommy loves you,” I know from past experience that she can be manipulative and selfish compared to the need of nurturing children.
I have researched procedures and have found that I can file for separation/divorce privately. I am very concerned about custody and access. For the well being of the children I hope to retain full custody. I am not against providing access, but am wondering how I may be able to show that supervised access would be in the best interests of the children. I have suspicions that EW has a dangerous undiagnosed mental illness (bipolar, sociopath, personality disorder, etc), and I know that EW would not hesitate to undermine my relationship with the twins (witnessed the same thing between EW and my step kids concerning EH).
Any advice on what I should include in my affidavit? I live in Leeds/Grenville and am attempting to juggle my schedule to attend a pro-bono Family Court session for free legal advice. Are mental-health concerns considered or investigated by Family Court prior to custody/access judgment?
Property related – how long does EW have to live separate from the matrimonial home before I’m granted uncontested sole title?
I hope that others have not experience the same situation, but if there is any input…I won’t turn anything away
My situation (sorry it’s lengthy):
-My ex-wife (referred to as EW) and I got together in 2007, I became an instant father figure to her 2 children (6 and 3), their father her ex husband of 2 years (referred as EH) was less than supportive. After several months of dating and began to have doubts and attempted to leave. EW held the children I had grown to love as a tether to keep me around.
-We lived in separate houses
-Early 2008 my EW got pregnant (unplanned), after the initial shock we were both very excited (having twins).
-We bought a house together (help from my father for down payment and start up costs)
-I became sole income, EW stayed at home with children.
-Old fashion values, I proposed, we planned our wedding for mid 2009.
-Relationship was not perfect, had our arguments, money, child care (access and support EH)
-Twins were born; things were good for a number of months
-Wedding got closer, stress level rose and relationship went back to rollercoaster of arguments/happiness/arguments, etc
-Wedding…shortly after my mother asked my EW why she married me...rift between my parents, EW and I...EW and I went to counseling which my EW thought was waste of time (3 sessions).
-2010 - EW began “at home babysitting” and “photography business”, bought 'needed' laptop with 'joint money' I was still main income and was main transportation for photography business
-Over the course of 2010 I began to second guess my role in the family, sole income, sole 'parent' (would have to discipline children from work over phone since EW could not handle them), growing stress concerning relations with EW and EH (EH’s had new girlfriend who my EW did not like...however VERY positive for children)
-Increased stress placed on step kids from EW - witness arguments between her and EH, children used as leverage by EW...
-Winter 2010 - relations with step children at all time low, behavioral issues, I was not supported in parent role, and all disciplinary choices were undermined
-I was awarded a transfer for work, entire family planned to relocate to North Bay area.
-Found out EW was having online affair with boyfriend.
-Feb 2011 - EW booked trip, I had suspicious on destination, EW failed to advice babysitting clients of her vacation,
-Day before EW’s trip, EH advised that he believe our home is not positive environment for the old children (my step kids), EH advised he will not return after current access.
-EW takes trip and (to my suspicion) went to visit boyfriend, I learn from EH that the EW current boyfriend is the same man that EW left previous marriage for.
-I called off marriage and moved out of residence with twins (went to parents).
-Continued with planned relocation to North Bay area, twins remained with my parents in Ottawa area and I commuted every 4 days to my parents to continue father role.
-Consulted legal advise, I did not have the capital to begin separation process.
-Had very little communication with EW, all conversations were one sided arguments, EW returned from vacation and relocated to city of Ottawa.
-May 2011 I'm pleased to announce that EW and I attempted reconciliation. Relations went badly when I realized that I was being forced to make all the compromises and my EW was not willing to cooperate. When I advised her of my feelings, she ended up calling police on me. Domestic situation in front of twins, I left the location with the twins to reduce negative contact. EW claimed she was assaulted; police did not act on her claims. Police suggested EW has dangerous mental health issues and urged me to have no further communication. CAS investigated and found that I acted in best interested of children.
-I received a transfer back to the Ottawa area, the twins and I moved back into the matrimonial home (I had been carrying all expenses although residence was empty).
-I have been primary care giver to the twins since August. My parents have assisted with babysitting (among other paid services) during my work hours.
-Over the course of the past year, EW has had no contact with my step kids since Feb 2011, missed 3 birthdays.
-EW has had limited contact with twins (now 3 ½) since May. She has not made ANY effort to see the children. She has tested and called me since August, with a high frequency over Christmas and into January 2012. Her demeanor in text messages and voicemails has been belligerent, aggressive and uncooperative.
-Twins refer to EW as “mommy bad, yelled at my daddy” I want the twins to have a positive memory/relationship with their mother therefore they are told that “mommy loves you,” I know from past experience that she can be manipulative and selfish compared to the need of nurturing children.
I have researched procedures and have found that I can file for separation/divorce privately. I am very concerned about custody and access. For the well being of the children I hope to retain full custody. I am not against providing access, but am wondering how I may be able to show that supervised access would be in the best interests of the children. I have suspicions that EW has a dangerous undiagnosed mental illness (bipolar, sociopath, personality disorder, etc), and I know that EW would not hesitate to undermine my relationship with the twins (witnessed the same thing between EW and my step kids concerning EH).
Any advice on what I should include in my affidavit? I live in Leeds/Grenville and am attempting to juggle my schedule to attend a pro-bono Family Court session for free legal advice. Are mental-health concerns considered or investigated by Family Court prior to custody/access judgment?
Property related – how long does EW have to live separate from the matrimonial home before I’m granted uncontested sole title?
I hope that others have not experience the same situation, but if there is any input…I won’t turn anything away
Comment