Unfair

[Baffled_Dad]

As it looks, considering my last years income of 110K
And the ex's at 27K b/c she took the summer off.
I'll be paying approx. $1500 in CS and $1500
For Alimony =$3000/ month. I'm not even making what
I have in the past. I'm not working overtime. I'm just
Working my 40 hrs/week. I'm slated to make about 85K.
How in gods name do I live on $450/ week with a mortgage,
Gas for a truck, bills, food, etc? Some weeks it's less.
She's getting 2/3 of my income plus her paycheck.
She's raking in $5200/ month while I barely get $1600.
One son is billeting out of town for Jr. Hockey 8 months of the year. I can't
Even afford to go see him play b/c I can't afford the gas.
Hey! I'm not looking for sympathy here but some fairness. There
Isn't a court order to pay yet. I've been paying since day one over a yr and
A half on an agreement we done but now I'm getting screwed for being a
Nice guy. On Friday, my account went into overdraft for the 1st time ever
Unknowingly, so her payment did not go in. I got some Nasty texts and 2 very rude phone messages that I kept. Basically I'm a deadbeat whose not paying. Currently she's getting $550/week. I had to borrow it from my girlfriend in which I did not have to. She never even said sorry or thank you. I did it do it don't come back to haunt me. Ungrateful bloodsucker! I have an appt. To see another lawyer for another opinion. I'm thinking of firing my-current lawyer. Im not comfortable with her. Anyway! There's no way I'm going to live the way I am while she lives high on the hog. Something is not right. I'll be in arrears every week all year. Is there a motion for financial duress?

[standing on the sidelines]

first off do you live with your gf?? If you do and try to claim financial hardship her income will come into play,

I think it may be time to look at your budget and see where you can save some money. I own a house and car etc, make mortgage payments on just about 100 bucks more a month then you do. I got rid of my home phone and kept my cell. Cable is just the basic and the internet is just one step up above that.

The child support you have to pay but why in the hell are you paying SS when there is not order for it???? Stop paying the SS until you have 2

[NBDad]

And the ex's at 27K b/c she took the summer off.

Her taking the summer off is a choice and not something you should be accountable for. What is her income over the last three years?

Stop paying spousal support unless you have a court order. It doesn't do you any good (you can't claim it on your taxes without an order or the ex's agreement).

Second, how old is your child? You mentioned he's away at Hockey 8 months a year? Is he getting paid for his participation in this? If so, and he's over 18, I would argue he's self sufficient and no longer a child of the marraige, ergo NO CS for him.

[Baffled_Dad]

Yeah, I'm living with my girlfriend. I don't like asking for anything. She contributes quite a bit. She also has a 5 year old too. They are going off our original agreement. No there hasnt been a court order yet. I was told just to keep paying that if it goes to court it looks good in front of a judge. I also don't want to be thousands in arrears. Revenue Canada already recognizes that I pay so getting my returns before FRO gets them is better for me. I'm falling into arrears monthly starting this January $600/ month based on an interim support payments. I'm just looking for some fairness but that seems like a far fetched dream. My income will drop this year about 20K-25K. That should get my payments reduced. I'm just hoping they can reduce the payment so I don't have to go back to court and Cost me stupid money I don't have. That seems inevitable. I've watch co workers go thru this over the years too. It sucks because she's turned my two sons against me. She's got them believing she pays for everything and don't fo nothing. Oh well! Life goes on!

[Baffled_Dad]

My boys are 17 & 20. The youngest is away playing hockey.

[Baffled_Dad]

I should say my girlfriend lives with me. It's my house.

[standing on the sidelines]

maybe you should go back to working the overtime and gradually cut back on it so you dont get so far behind?? Each year do less so the hit you take is not so drastic.

[Baffled_Dad]

I've cut working OT all together. I've been working steady midnights for quite sometime and with a the added stress since just before the separation has taken a bit of a toll on my health. I started to suffer with PVC's premature ventricular contractions. I suffer more with them from excess fatigue which us usually the weekends. I usually regain my rest being off and just doing 40 hr work weeks. I'm under the care of a heart specialist and he recommends getting off midnights. I earn a shift premium of 10% on mids too. If my payments get reduced to 85K from 110K I can live on that and actually have more take home pay. No man is obligated to work his life away. 40 hour work weeks are sufficient enough. I'm done overtime. Both my grandfathers died of massive coronaries as well as my father with a triple bypass in which he was lucky. I'm not dropping dead if I can help it. I have no problem helping my boys either. Right now they have distance themselves from me. Hopefully they figure it all out.

[Clean]

That's the problem with how the law has been slated. We're slaves to our ex's.

The not so funny thing is, is how are we to retire?

[Berner_Faith]

My boys are 17 & 20. The youngest is away playing hockey.

Is the 20 year old in school? If he isn't then he is no longer considered a child of the marriage therefore no CS for him.

[dinkyface]

Personal opinion ... I'd think you have grounds to have CS reduced to match your income. Especially given that it was based on OT, and you have some heart issues coming up, and family history of heart disease.

After support and tax/ei/cpp ...
- If you make 85k: You have 2650/month to live on vs she has 4490/month to live on (she has 1840 more).
- If you make 110k: -> 3930 vs 4490 (she has 560 more)

But that CS decrease would only be about 300/month -> 2950 vs 4190 (she has 1240 more).

[gettingtakenforaride]

Baffled,
I thought i was reading a post that I had just written myself, The only thing I can say is this is the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life.