moving vs staying in a temporary place

[billiechic]

I have been given notice that my landlord will move into the home himself, and I need to move out.

My new partner and I would like to buy a home, but we cannot afford to buy in the area where we are renting (we got a great deal on a short term rental, it was supposed to be until fall 2012). We will never be able to buy in Vaughan

Our final order states that my child will go to school in Vaughan.
Her father currently lives in Ajax, has 50% time and drives her to kindergarten 2-3 days a week.
He says he plans to move to Vaughan this summer, but has failed to keep that promise before.

If we move approximately 40 kms away we can afford to buy a home (if not now then within the next year or 2), and that will put us within 15 kms of my partner's daughter, with whom he only has EOW and Wednesday nights. This would allow an opportunity for them to see each other more.

We are currently in court due to a motion to change CS. I dont know if this is the time to address this, as my ex has agreed to mediation and is likely to agree to several of the other changes I am requesting. However they are all minor changes or clarifications that I think the court is likely to agree with.

I am unemployed currently, but likely to be employed in Vaughan again very soon. I have no problem driving my daughter to school in the short term, but this kind of commuting should not be a permanent solution.

I just dont know what I can do about this. Its a crapshoot.
Will he move to Vaughan?
If he does will the court give him more time or permanent residence because I am not in the area and must drive her?
Will they see a step sister, step father and a permanent home as a bigger benefit to my daughter?
Should I propose he move north as well, to continue the 50/50?
I need to just suck it up and rent the rest of my life?

if any of you can provide advice, feedback it would really help. I know moving is an issue, but I dont really see living in a basement apartment forever as a good choice either.

[Berner_Faith]

If your court order states where the child has to attend school, your choice to move, be it because you can't afford to live in the area or not, is not his fault.. you can't request him to move to accommodate what you want/need... I feel for you and not being able to afford in a certain area, but unfortunately that is not his issue. If you wish to continue 50/50 access you need to make all arrangements (and may be responsible for extra transportation costs) to exercise your 50/50 access.

There are tons of parents who rent vs own a home. Unless you think your ex is willing to agree to the move and relocation of the child you have a very uphill battle... it will be on you to prove WHY it is in the best interest of the child to move away from their familiar place of residence, WHY an active parent would either lose some access time or be responsible for transportation costs...there will be a lot on your shoulders to facilitate this move.

EDIT: Just want to say again, I do feel for you as my bf and I are in the same situation...buying in another town because we can't afford the prices in this town... but it won't be easy switching the status quo

[NBDad]

You already know the answer to this one...how easy is it to move away from an equal/involved parent when that parent doesn't agree?

Would your propose move impact the 50-50 that you currently have setup?

If yes, what is your proposed solution to ensure that the daughter receives the maximum time with her father in lieu of the status quo. Now, list the reasons why it's NOT good for YOU to have what you just offered up.

You have a final order in place stating the child must attend school in Vaughn. Therefore, ONE of you must live in the school zone. If it's NOT you, and he moves there, then yes, he has a real chance at arguing for a custody flip based on the new material change.

Also, because you are the one moving you are agreeable to doing ALL the driving caused by the move right? So the ex doesn't need to drive any further than he currently does? Yes, it means you now have potentially a significant amount of extra scheduling to work into things.

Your best bet is to get the ex to agree that the child would be able to attend school at your new proposed residence as well as to the move itself. If he doesn't, personally *I* wouldn't move, since in your ex's shoes I can think of a number of ways to obtain primary residence if not outright sole custody.

You need to show cause why the move would be in the child's best interest.
The greater potential for a permanent home is one point. The increased relationship with the step-sibling is another.

Now, what are the schools like in that area? Significantly better? Prove it.
Are there other activities that the child can partake in that are not as available or affordable in the area? Does it place you closer to family at all?

What is better about the new area as opposed to the old?

You are arguing to break status quo, to remove the child from her friends and school, and potentially disrupt status quo with the other parent. You have a HUGE battle on your hands if the ex doesn't agree. You better have a HUGE ASS list of reasons why it's better, and even then...50-50...total crapshoot.

[Tayken]

if any of you can provide advice, feedback it would really help. I know moving is an issue, but I dont really see living in a basement apartment forever as a good choice either.

R.S. v. D.S., 2010 ONSC 2941 (CanLII). Paragraph 197:

In my view the travel time between the Father’s home and J.S. ’s school is a factor I must consider. Although no one challenged the Father’s evidence that the travel time is 40 minutes, it can clearly be longer with construction and traffic, given the Father will be travelling with J.S. in rush hour. This is a more significant factor on days when the Father has to drive J.S. to school as it will mean that he has to get up much earlier than he does now. I note this was a concern of the trial judge in Rogerson v. Tessaro, [7] relying on an opinion of an assessor who opined that an equal residence schedule was no longer workable as it was unreasonable for the children to commute for 35 minutes per day.

Hope this helps shed some light on the judicial perspective.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[dinkyface]

Would you be able to afford buying a Vaughan house that had a rental unit? Rental income can go a long way towards mortgage payments. And you get to use a portion (up to 50%) of your insurance, mortgage interest, property tax, and any 'repair/maintenance' -type reno costs to reduce the taxable amount of rental income. As long as you don't claim any 'improvement-type' reno costs, any capital gains are still completely tax-free when/if you sell the house (no change).

Cons: Tenants can be a pain in the ass, and you have basically no protection against damages they may cause (collecting a damage deposit is illegal in ontario, and we all know how effective courts are!).

[billiechic]

Thank you for your excellent responses.

More facts to help:
child has been commuting for over 3 years. I only moved to Vaughan in July.
Final order on consent.
OCL recommendations for both parents to move to Vaughan. I did, he didnt.

So right now I can show that I have put her interests first, and he hasn't.

At this point I think I will not challenge it. Ex has been off work for a year and has finally started training for a new job in construction. I am seriously in doubt of his ability to drive her from Ajax to Vaughan for school and still make it to work on time while working construction (dont they start at like 7 am?)

I am going to wait and see what the track record shows from this new schooling and future employment. And of course whether he actually moves to Vaughan. Let him screw it up and he will build my case for me.

I could go to court now and argue all of these things to obtain more time with her, but that just isnt right either. yes, his decision to move away sucks for her, and I know it would suck even more if she had to start commuting with me again too.

It would be best if we rent for another year, as we dont have enough for a downpayment anyway.

I just don't want to end up in court consistently until she is a teenager. thats why we went with 50/50 in the first place, and still it doesnt seem to work. My intention is not to take her away from her dad, and there IS a good chance he may agree to move towards the new community. I just want the ability to move on with my life and make a home for the blended family we are creating. In fact, it is now the twqo girls who are calling us a"family" and it couldn't make me happier to know that they feel this is a good thing too.

[tugofwar]

Billie,
Is it possible for you two to pick a different and mutually agreed upon place where both you can find suitable jobs and housing?
Oh wait, I forget, if you had a different ex, that might be possible...

[billiechic]

hahahaha.. right
Actually, the community I am considering moving to has a large population with the same nationality as my ex, and it so happens to be a place he actually planned on moving to at one time. So there is a slim chance he might agree.

But I will of course have to let HIM come up with the idea, or it will be an absolute NO!

[May_May]

What about moving to Ajax or Whitby or Oshawa. The homes are far more affordable there, than in Vaughan. Talk to your ex and ask him if he has any real plans to move to Vaughan...If he'd prefer to stay in Ajax could you move out that way ?

[billiechic]

No, that is not reasonable. The travel time from those areas is about an hour and a half in rush hour, and that would move my bf further away from his child. One child is not more important than the other here.

But problem is solved for now. We found a nice house to rent that is still within 20km of my daughter's school, and are signing a year lease. By the time we have to make the next decision we will know whether her dad is moving (or has moved) and how he manages to get her to school every day)