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  • Mediator-Arbitrator

    Does anyone have suggestions or experiences with mediators and arbitrators in the Toronto area.
    We have basically proven all that we need to with financial disclosure and has been suggested to go this route as opposed to the courts.
    I would appreciate feed back as to experiences and names of different professionals. I like the Judge Judy style--someone who is fair and gets to the guts of the issues.
    Thanks

  • #2
    Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
    Does anyone have suggestions or experiences with mediators and arbitrators in the Toronto area.
    We have basically proven all that we need to with financial disclosure and has been suggested to go this route as opposed to the courts.
    I would appreciate feed back as to experiences and names of different professionals. I like the Judge Judy style--someone who is fair and gets to the guts of the issues.
    Thanks
    It all depends on what you want to spend. If it is just money, there are some arbitrators out there who are CAs. They tend to stick to the reality of the numbers, the law and equalization.

    Good Luck!
    Tayken

    Comment


    • #3
      one thing you can do is go to or call your local family law courthouse. They will have a list of the "approved" mediators. you can normally see a mediator as an interview before you start out. If you do not like the vibes or what style they use (open vs closed mediation for example) then you can interview another. That first meeting will also spell out expectations, fees and what not.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
        Frustrated,

        Can there be a cap on the amoung of time spent with the mediator before it goes to arbitration. I dont want to spend days wasting time and money...... and it was suggested to me that the mediator and arbitrator be the same person. Do you have any suggestions??? Can you say who your mediator---arbitrator is?
        I was told of a high profile Family Lawyer who does a lot of this work and highly respected.

        I copied this from another thread.

        We are using a highly respected Family Lawyer who is both mediator and arbitrator. I thought my ex can't be the only difficult person they have seen. I also thought my ex and I were close on issues and there was not a lot left to settle. I thought we would present his income, my income, get the numbers on the table, and then talk.

        What I was not prepared for was the detailed financial discussion we ended up having. This frustrated my ex, however, information came out that neither one of us anticipated. He wasn't hiding anything, just the chain of monies after separation, (in Alberta this matters), was enlightening. At least 4, 3 hour sessions to get this information. Ex talks a lot and is very detailed in his explanations. Mediator tried to keep this to a minimum.

        Then we started to discuss incomes. The mediator thought this would progress better because we had come so far in our ability to talk to each other. What surprised everyone was what stbx was proposing. He is a respected individual in his profession, is very intelligent, and from my experience, nobody sees crazy coming. By the time everyone has figured out that what he is saying doesn't make any sense, 3 or more hours had gone by.

        Keep in mind he had made a formal offer to me before this mediation that had us very close on all issues. I had accepted most of what he offered. In my mind we were not starting from the beginning. I thought I knew his position going into this.

        I was/ am very frustrated by this. I just want some numbers on the table so we can have a discussion. This has not happened.

        The mediator had us list the 4 things we need to move forward with discussions. We were told to go and think about what the other person has asked for, and if we can work with these requests, and this week we will meet again, and the mediator will decide if we move to arbitration.

        Both my ex and I are represented by lawyers during these mediation meetings. For me this was important, to have a lawyer participate in the mediation, however, stbx did request his lawyer not to attend some of the financial meetings.

        Originally posted by Tayken View Post
        Yes. You can put that into the mediation-arbitration agreement. There are clauses for the time spent on mediating something (an issue) and then after a point it goes to arbitration.

        Again, both parties have to sign the mediation-arbitration agreement. This can take weeks if not months to negotiate some times. It all ends up costing money if one of the parties is high-conflict.

        Good Luck!
        Tayken
        Very important to know if you are high conflict before going into mediation.

        Comment


        • #5
          thanks so much for all the info. I have already discussed with my lawyer that I insist on open mediation as I feel if it isnt we are just wasting money and time, as 100% for sure he is high conflict as we have seen in his past behaviour---basically doubling his income, using up close to 200k of professional costs just to prove what I had said 3 years ago.
          Frustrated---it seems that we have very similar stories,, highly intelligent, successful sick sick x's.
          I will as for time limitations also.
          My lawyer wants to prepare for mediation as though we were heading for arbitration to have all the facts and documentation ready for our claims.
          Wish me luck!!! I hope this system works.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
            thanks so much for all the info. I have already discussed with my lawyer that I insist on open mediation as I feel if it isnt we are just wasting money and time, as 100% for sure he is high conflict as we have seen in his past behaviour---basically doubling his income, using up close to 200k of professional costs just to prove what I had said 3 years ago.
            Frustrated---it seems that we have very similar stories,, highly intelligent, successful sick sick x's.
            I will as for time limitations also.
            My lawyer wants to prepare for mediation as though we were heading for arbitration to have all the facts and documentation ready for our claims.
            Wish me luck!!! I hope this system works.
            Best of luck. I hope that things go well for you and that it gets resolved. All that I can share is that during out last court hearing in October, the judge recommended we see the mediator that works out of the Brampton courthouse. We booked mediation for December, they said that the first two hours was free, any remaining time was billed on income on a sliding scale. I was shocked but very pleased when the mediator brought us to resolution in 45 minutes.

            Rick

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Ontario_Dad_41162 View Post
              I was shocked but very pleased when the mediator brought us to resolution in 45 minutes.

              Rick
              My hat is off to you and your ex - please consider this a standing ovation.

              Cheers!

              Gary

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks - it was a huge relief to me. I was sure we'd be heading to trial - she showed no willingness to negotiate. Give the credit to the mediator - I still don't know how she did it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I recommend closed mediation. Do not do arbitration.

                  My experience in mediation was odd because the mediator was not entirely paying attention to our discussions. It seemed like she was just going through the motions. The problem this created was that her summaries of our sessions were inaccurate. My ex- and I were both a bit confused but we managed to work it out. My point is that if your ran into a similar situation but your ex- was not civil, you might end up being worse off if open mediation. Open mediation means the minutes from your sessions can by used in court. Closed mediation means everything is kept private between the couple and the mediator.



                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  It all depends on what you want to spend. If it is just money, there are some arbitrators out there who are CAs. They tend to stick to the reality of the numbers, the law and equalization.
                  Great idea.

                  Comment

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