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  • hopefully a little help!

    Hello everyone First of all, I am glad I found this forum as I have already learned alot reading posts.
    I have a little bit of a long winded story, but it is very complex.
    I met my wife, or soon to be ex wife, a little over 5 years ago, and got married almost 3 years ago. When we met, I was not working and dealing with severe depression issues. She was employed, and still is, as a police officer. After a couple of months, I moved into her house and sold mine which was in another city. I then got a full time position in the service industry that I had previously done for 20 years. After 2 years, I transfered to another company, doing the same type of work, and still full time.Also, during this time, I have experienced severe back issues causing alot of pain. After about a year and a half at that job, with the advise of my doctor and the full support and encouragement of my wife, I left the full time position for a part time position with the Ontario government. This was a big opportunity to get my foot in the door there, and she is the one that had the contacts to get me the job. In the same timeframe, we bought a new house together. It is in her name for credit reasons, but it is our matrimonial home.
    Finances became alot tighter with my part time employment, but I feel I compensated that by doing all the household chores and yard maintenance. She constantly was on me about getting another job, but I have so many Dr's limitations, that finding employment at my age(42)is basically impossible. Last summer I decided to sell our motorcycles to try to get some money. They sold, and she kept the money. Even though I am still paying a line of credit for 1 of them. We had times where she wanted to seperate as she said she could no longer take care of me, but we would always work it out.
    Then came Jan 1st of this year. She told me that she wanted me out. And until I find a place, I was to pay her $600.00 a month to stay here. I told her that I was not going to pay to live in my house! She has since, disconnected my tv, internet, telephone. I am stuck living in a bedroom in the basement. She has put locks on doors in the house, locking my possessions away from me. She has hidden food away, and when I bought coffee for myself, she took the coffee maker!
    She is trying everything she can do to bully me out of the house, or worse, give one of her buddies a reason to arrest me for something! I cannot afford a lawyer, but she has apparently hired one of the most expensive lawyers in town. I made approx $18000.00 last year and she made over $90000.00. I know right now using the basic guidelines, I am entitled to approx $450.00 a month for 2-3 years, but I had one lawyer tell me, that since my doctor has put me on lifelong restrictions, filed with CPP, that basically makes full time employment impossibe, she could end up paying alot more for longer.
    I guess where I am concerned right now is, I am paying about $1000.00 a month right now on loans and credit from our marriage, so that doesn't leave much for alternate housing. She doesn't care if I have to live in a shelter, and I don't think that is fair or right!
    Anyways, any opinions would be appreciated, and sorry this post is so long!

  • #2
    Personal recorded on you at all times when your in the house with her. That should protect you from any "he beats me" stories. Plus I enjoy listening to mine to remind me just how better off I am. Long time reader, just starting the process of it all, so can't offer much advice. These people are awsome though and I'm sure will give you way more then I can. Don't leave the house.

    Good Luck!


    • #3
      there is no doubt in my mind that your situation is very difficult specially given that your wife is a crook, sorry i meant a cop.

      if i were in your situation i would take above advice, while finding

      1- a mutually agreeable friend who can mediate or marriage counseling, since it looks like you guys were able to put differences aside a few times i have no doubt that a skillful counselor can fix this marriage. Also soften up the tension and try to alter the physical living conditions with her agreement and consent, i.e move couches around, change location of decorations, this is known to bring couples together. Also take some time off each other. hopefully things will work out.

      2- another residence asap (in case things dont work out). meanwhile softening up and trying to get her to a separation agreement, if she dosnt agree, well, qualify yourself for legal aid and then another sad breakup story starts.


      • #4
        What do you want?


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