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  • Proof

    My ex has filed a court application and our case conference is coming up in March. He makes some crazy accusations in his application. My question is - does he need to show some kind of proof of these accusations?

  • #2
    in court no matter if its family, small claims or criminal court you always need proof to back up allegations.

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    • #3
      I'd like to say that's true but it certainly didn't seem to matter in my case. Ex lied right out of the gate. About everything. He had nothing to back up his bullshit. How could he? It was bullshit. In the midst of it I realized that it seemed I, as the truthful party had to set out the facts, disprove his bs and this went on for awhile. I soon realized the Court really didn't care what was being said. He literally could have said he was next in line to the British throne, and nobody would've batted an eye.

      Stick to the facts. IE: these are the undisputed facts: x, y, z. Provide documentation for your statements wherever possible. Don't call him a liar (even though he is) - keep your cool and stick to the truth. On the first documents I rec'd from ex during the beginning of litigation - (I was the Applicant) - I rec'd 3-4 pages of "reply/answer" or whatever it's called. It was all lies except for his name, address and date of birth. Stunning isn't it? That bs kept me in Court for 3 years.

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      • #4
        Do you mind giving some examples of the "crazy accusations?"

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        • #5
          Originally posted by hadenough View Post
          Do you mind giving some examples of the "crazy accusations?"
          Two examples:
          1. He accuses me of 'refusing to co-parent" because I refuse to talk to him on the phone - I insist on communicating over email in order to have things in writing.
          2. He accuses me of refusing to supply the children with needed items in order to force him to purchase them. HUGE load of BS and super frustrating since he's the one who does this to me constantly.

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          • #6
            does he have a lawyer because I can't see a lawyer putting that down. It's kind of petty stuff that has no relevance. I use e-mail to correspond with my ex a lot. I send him weekly updates, videos, doctors appointments etc because I feel that when we talk on the phone or in person we get WAY off track and it's always an argument. Also the supplying things...why doesn't he get his own stuff? I am suprised a lawyer wouldn't tell him to. I always provide everything, bottles, clothes, diapers, food, and it always comes back unwashed..sometimes food has no lid on and it's all over the bag. If I were not primary care giver I think I would want to have all of the necessities for my child at my house too. I would have everything crib, clothes etc.

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            • #7
              1) When dealing w/a chronic story-teller, the only smart way to communicate is through email.
              2) My ex did same. Said I didn't supply sunscreen/bug spray/enough clothes etc etc. It was total bullshit. It really didn't make any difference that he said that.

              When a wknd came where such items were necessary, I packed them and sent an email stating "I have packed a, b, c for "child." Any normal person would have these items on hand - and I'm sure he did (he has 2 young children w/his wife) but I packed it anyway. He once sent me a long drawn out email claiming that while they were at a cottage for the wknd, "child" had NO sunscreen or bugspray etc" What a MORON. He went on to say "no one could believe it, that you are such a horrible mother that you didn't pack these items" "everyone said you were crazy, and felt sorry for 'child'"
              He even included "child was terrified that he had mosquito bites b/c he was afraid of how angry you would be with him." (For getting bit by mosquitoes??!)

              What a PSYCHO. It was a pathetic attempt to set me up I guess. The email did turn up in the trial brief. As did my response to it. Pure Pathetic, and by the time he'd lied 15x in court (pre-trial and at trial) he simply looked and sounded like an idiot. Remember: when someone's got nothing (no truth/facts) they make shit up. As do the lawyers that represent them. Keep communicating by email and send a little "list" of what you have included with your child's access visit/weekend.

              How old is your child? I was fortunate in that my son was/is old enough to know that dad is full of crap. There is NOTHING you can put past someone like this. Do you have a lawyer?

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              • #8
                True: like JaneD said - why DOESN'T he get his own stuff??

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by janedoe99 View Post
                  does he have a lawyer because I can't see a lawyer putting that down. It's kind of petty stuff that has no relevance. I use e-mail to correspond with my ex a lot. I send him weekly updates, videos, doctors appointments etc because I feel that when we talk on the phone or in person we get WAY off track and it's always an argument. Also the supplying things...why doesn't he get his own stuff? I am suprised a lawyer wouldn't tell him to. I always provide everything, bottles, clothes, diapers, food, and it always comes back unwashed..sometimes food has no lid on and it's all over the bag. If I were not primary care giver I think I would want to have all of the necessities for my child at my house too. I would have everything crib, clothes etc.
                  He doesn't currently have a lawyer. Someone is giving him advice but it isn't good advice .

                  He's going for sole custody and is using the above as part of his argument as to why he should have it.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                    True: like JaneD said - why DOESN'T he get his own stuff??
                    He does have some stuff - I'm not sure exactly what he's referring to because I've never actually done what he's accusing me of but there are some things that we need to 'share', like outerwear. It doesn't make sense to have separate snow suits for example.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It is terrible advice that he is being given. If those are his arguments, they will nip him in the butt and actually make him look immature.
                      Hadenough sounds like your ex and mine should be friends. Arguing for the sake of argument. I mean, my ex will send me a text exactly on the hour if I am not there at the visit at 4:00pm he will send a message at 4pm telling me that he is noting that I am late. Yet many many times, I've been told to come later because she's sleeping. It's just a fight for the sake of fighting and people like this are very transparent. I am sure the judges are very familiar with this type of behaviour, it seems common. I think the worst thing that people have mentioned is not to act that way back to him. Mention relevant things and nothing petty.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                        He went on to say "no one could believe it, that you are such a horrible mother that you didn't pack these items" "everyone said you were crazy, and felt sorry for 'child'"
                        He even included "child was terrified that he had mosquito bites b/c he was afraid of how angry you would be with him."
                        OMG - that sounds EXACTLY like the kind of retarded crap my ex would spew.
                        He once got pissed at me because the children forgot their mitts at school. I told him he should think about having his own stash as kids are always losing/forgetting mitts. We share custody - you'd think he'd buy them mitts. But no, apparently I was supposed to supply all of them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My ex's lame ass lawyer brought up several pathetic examples in court. Why? Like I said - because they had NOTHING. Just looked at an old paper from before trial (long before). Here's the breakdown:

                          A) what you consider the undisputed facts.

                          ie: -the applicant is xx years old.
                          -the respondent is xx years old.
                          - there is 1 child of the relationship (child's name, d.o.b.)
                          ETC ETC

                          B) the theory of your case on the DISPUTED issues.

                          ie: the respondent is intentionally under employing himself in order to avoid his support obligations.

                          C) a brief summary of the evidence you plan to present at trial: evidence at trial.

                          ie: the applicant will testify to the respondent's character, his abuse towards her over the course of the relationship and his general lack of interest in raising or caring for his child over the course of the relationship and since separation.

                          D). the orders you are asking the Judge to make.

                          ie; orders requested. Order for child support in amt of $xxx/month and SS at $xxx/month. An order for costs on a substantial indemnity basis inclusive of disbursements and hst.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It's incredible - the similarities w/these FREAKS. I am thankful every single day that I got away from him and that my son is getting older now and I don't need to worry about his mind being poisoned by a morally bankrupt individual.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                              It's incredible - the similarities w/these FREAKS. I am thankful every single day that I got away from him and that my son is getting older now and I don't need to worry about his mind being poisoned by a morally bankrupt individual.
                              I wish I didn't have that worry. At least they get and example of how people are supposed to act 50% of the time.

                              Comment

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