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  • What to do???

    I orginally sent this to Jeff the Moderator! I tought that I should share my case with you guys!


    I am in the middle of a separation. My wife wants me out asap. I will not leave, I don't want to leave my daughter. She wants to keep everything but can't afford it (house, our daughter, boat etc). It is the 2nd time she is doing that. Last year, I stayed in the loft for 8 months. I am back up there! If I leave, I know it will be the biggest mistake. She wants me to agree to visitation only so she can do other things. I found an apartment close to school and day care etc. suitable for me and my daughter. I have not sign yet. We are both professional and we both work in the same building!!!! She says that she is doing 90% of the parenting so she should get full custody of our daughter. I am always at home doing things like laundry, floors, house cleaning. I spend a lot of time with my daughter, playing, reading stories etc. My wife cooks meals and get her ready in the morning. This is the way our relationship worked. Now, she wants to use that against me to get custody. Enough said. I saw a lawyer last week. She saw one in August. She was well prepared!!! I don't want to give up my daughter under false assumption that I am not a good father. She wants to settle this using collaborative approach. Money and our daughter are the main issues here. What arguments can I use to make my point in order to get 50/50? She is ahead in the game as she is totally devoted to our daughter so I am left behind CLEANING after her. Don't get me wrong, I always spend quality time with my daughter but only when my wife does not have a PLANNED activity for our daughter or when she goes exercising, shopping etc. She want to use my time with Alex like she would hire a babysitter. Help!!!

  • #2
    I am not sure how things work where you live. But in my area I was told it is hard to get an actual 50/50 custody arrangement between parents. However, it even here it is not impossible.

    If you live in an area that would make this possible and convenient I would certainly fight for that if it is what you think is best. The court will look at what they feel is in the best interests of your daughter. Will it make it better or worse for her to be with you 1/2 the time and her mother the other 1/2.

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    • #3
      Thanks for the advice!

      I agreed yesterday with my wife for joint custody with frequent visitation and weekend. Not exactly what I wanted but it is better than losing my daughter all together. We will reevaluate when our daughter is older. She is 4 and just started school. I will be moving out at the end of the month. Next, the money situation!@#$%^&*()

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