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Can we legally end child support payments?

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  • Can we legally end child support payments?

    Hello,

    Hope you can help us.

    My common-law husband has three children. The two girls are 16 and 17 years of age. His son is 14. None of them go to school. His ex-wife does not work, but claims to be home-schooling the kids. (She is also married to someone else and the kids use her new husband's last name, even though he has not adopted them.)

    Unfortunately, all three kids stopped communicating with their biological father two years ago and his ex ignores all his messages and gifts to the kids, etc. They live hundreds of miles away and it is impossible to visit or have the children come here, without making arrangements far in advance.

    But his ex has refused to allow his children to come to Toronto, nor will she allow us to visit them in northern Ontario, despite the divorce agreement stating otherwise.

    We do not believe they are actually being educated by his ex, as the last communications from his kids described how they were "cleaning the house", "baking" and going to weird fundamentalist "youth camps" in the United States to hear "preaching". Not to mention their levels of literacy -- communication skills of eight-year-olds, not teens.

    My question is this: Can their father cut off child support to the two kids who are now 16 and 17 years of age, since they are not in school?

    He pays directly through the Family Responsibility Office and communicating with his ex is impossible.

    Thanks for your help.

    FedUp in Toronto

  • #2
    Hi FedUp and welcome to the forums!

    I sympathise with the situation your common law husband is in. It's tough not to see your children!

    There's a discussion about when child support ends here:
    http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=84

    Assuming that there was a divorce, you'd be dealing with the Divorce Act. The situation is a bit different under the Divorce Act, but I think that thread gives you the basic idea.

    I think your common law husband is going to have a hard time ending child support, because his ex will claim to be home schooling the children. Only if you can prove that's not true, then you might get somewhere. But given your distance and the state of the relationship with the children, that may be hard to do.

    Given the children's ages, they can pretty much decide where they want to live and when to spend time with each parent. The attitude of the courts is to support the children's wishes when they're that age. (As an aside, I'm not sure I agree with this, because when I was 14 or even 16 I sure didn't know always choose what was in my best interests - and courts are supposed to be concerned with what's in the children's best interests).

    Your common law husband could force the issue of access by going to court and requesting the Children's Lawyer or better yet a private assessment to investigate the situation, canvass the children's views, and determine whether there has been parental alienation. If you go down that route, you need to be prepared for a recommendation for the status quo. But if your common law husband really wants to see his children, it may be worthwhile. Also, there may be recommendations that the children attend counseling to work on re-establishing their relationship with your common law husband, and that may be helpful as well.
    Ottawa Divorce

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    • #3
      Yeah unfortunately you can't withhold payment to get action. As Jeff gave excellent advice. Not much more to add. Just have him pursue it through the proper channels. I think there are bigger issues than presented. The children's welfare is potentially at stake if they are being neglected.

      Comment


      • #4
        I would try to get the Office of the Children's Lawyers involved, at least to do an assement and make sure these children are been properly schooled. An education is the best gift you can give your children.

        Comment


        • #5
          Home schooling

          A few years back they discovered in Ontario that the children were not being educated to world standards and were actually behind a few years. This is when they brought in grade 3, 6, 9, 12 provincial standards testing.

          I would have concerns if my child was home schooled that they would be receiving the proper guidance and being taught everything they need to know. Teaching children is a special talent and it does come to mind what qualifications does the mother have to provide this to the children.
          Has anyone ever tested the children academically to see where they stand.

          Think about this when filling out a resume

          schooling - home school or graduated grade 12 OSSGD DIPLOMA

          I think you have grounds to have the children enrolled in a proper school because in the end when the children are adults employers are going to want to know what the children's education is. If they continue to be home schooled, it will be detrimental to the rest of their life.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank You

            Hello everyone,

            Thanks so much for your advice, suggestions and support. I'll let you know what happens.

            Kind Regards,

            "FedUp"

            Comment


            • #7
              I have never been a fan of homeschooling. I think it potentially retards a child's social growth in a very significant way. Often times the children who are home-schooled are the one's who actually need that away from home environment and interaction the most. I think there are a very small percentage of cases where the right parents and environment exist to make homeschooling a better choice of formal learning institutions.. But for the average child, it just doesn't make sense to me. Even beyond the learning aspect, the social aspects are even more important.

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              • #8
                I think you might want to think about another court date or seek an attorneys advice on the situation.. if there was an agreement setforth by the court then both parties must adhere to them.... They possibly could be held liable for now allowing you to get them when you are supposed to.. I personally would not stop paying unless a judge says so.. i would not let them have their cake and eat it too though....

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by logicalvelocity
                  Home schooling

                  A few years back they discovered in Ontario that the children were not being educated to world standards and were actually behind a few years. This is when they brought in grade 3, 6, 9, 12 provincial standards testing.
                  As a homeschooling parent, I'd just like to say I homeschooled all 5 of my children and they are all amazing. One is in university, one went to college (on a FULL scholarship!) and 2 others are working full-time, and my youngest isn't ready for university yet. All are intelligent, happy, well-rounded citizens.

                  The standardized testing brought in for Ontario was because the PUBLIC SCHOOLS were lacking, it had nothing to do with homeschooled children and no homeschooled children were part of the testing process which led to the conclusion that brought about provincial standards testing.

                  As is the case with my children, homeschooled children on average actually test at a much higher grade level than their traditional-schooled peers.

                  Certainly there needs to be an environment in the home which encourages a love of learning.

                  Homeschooling can be a very positive experience for the child and benefit him/her immensely... I thought I would offer another point of view on homeschooling.

                  It worked for my kids.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Homeschooling Debate

                    Originally posted by beltane
                    As a homeschooling parent, I'd just like to say I homeschooled all 5 of my children and they are all amazing. One is in university, one went to college (on a FULL scholarship!) and 2 others are working full-time, and my youngest isn't ready for university yet. All are intelligent, happy, well-rounded citizens.

                    The standardized testing brought in for Ontario was because the PUBLIC SCHOOLS were lacking, it had nothing to do with homeschooled children and no homeschooled children were part of the testing process which led to the conclusion that brought about provincial standards testing.

                    As is the case with my children, homeschooled children on average actually test at a much higher grade level than their traditional-schooled peers.

                    Certainly there needs to be an environment in the home which encourages a love of learning.

                    Homeschooling can be a very positive experience for the child and benefit him/her immensely... I thought I would offer another point of view on homeschooling.

                    It worked for my kids.
                    Thanks for your input, beltane.

                    Clearly you are an articulate individual who has encouraged his/her children to learn and do their best. It's nice to hear a success story.

                    Unfortunately, my c/l husband's ex-wife is neither articulate, nor intelligent enough to be teaching others. She hides behind the "homeschool excuse" to avoid leaving the house herself - and the children are victims of her insecurities and fear of the "outside world." The kids appear to be uneducated and are most certainly being encouraged to avoid their biological father. A sad situation indeed.

                    Comment

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