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I have been separated for 5 years but have never pursued anything legal. I have felt too guilty. Lately I feel I am ready to finalize this whole thing. But I'm afraid. I am afraid that my ex will not cope well with it (huge denial issues) and that he will break down in some way and then my children will suffer as a result. My intelligent side knows that I shouldn't run my life based on the fear of what might happen...and yet, I can't seem to take that step. Again I feel guilty for wanting a divorce and even guiltier for wanting my 1/2 of the money that is in the 'matrimonial home' that is still occupied by my ex. I know that if I get divorced he will be uprooted as the house will need to be sold....even though I think that would be a wonderful new beginning for him, I still feel guilty and scared.
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Let him begin to handle his own life. It's time for you to begin your new life. You are entitled to what belongs to you and if he has to find a new home, that's ok. Why have you waited for 5 years?? You can divorce and still be friends, you know. -
Just my opinion.....
Interesting after reading your post, I concluded you had already decided what you were going to do based on fear.
That first step is not an easy one. BUT it never will happen by using excuses why you haven't or feel you can't either.
You will never be able to control how another person reacts to any situation.
It is a responsible decision to put truth in your life by making the choice you know that needs to be made.
You will be a happier you when you empower yourself with the decisions that
you know will make a healthier you. Including your childrens health and your ex husbands. Everyone deserves to live with integrity. Time to MOVE on.
Ask yourself how much hurt he is feeling after being seperated for 5 yrs?
It will not be anymore than once you are divorced. Not making a decison after 5 yrs is a denial in itself I think.
Finality may be what you both need in order to move on and live honestly, with out each others denials.
Best of Luck to YOU.Comment
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Sounds like you really need to do this to move on.
I say go for it.. its been 5 years - more than enough time.
I wish you the best of luck and please report back here if you can
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