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  • Support Payments

    I am cuurently in the process of filing for divorce. I have four children and I do have a good job, and my ex-wife to be and myself have agreed upon an amount for the children each month that I give her and it is below the federal support guidelines. But in the same sentence, I have agreed that I give her more as she needs it and right now I already give her more and sometimes just what we agreed on. My question is, if both parents agreed to the amount each month, can the court turn around and tell me that I must give the required amount according to the guidelines even though that it was agreed upon during the filing for divorce documnets.

    Thanks for any info.

  • #2
    Things can change

    The guidelines are set for a reason based on your salary. Let's say you pay $2,000 per month...that only works out to be $4 per child per meal per day. (Take the amount divide by 30 days, divide again by 4 children and finally divide by 4 meals per day.) Most people are surprized at how very little this works out for the daily care of each child.

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    • #3
      Hi Person and welcome to the divorce forums!

      You didn’t state your location, but what I’m saying applies across Canada. When a divorce is requested, the Divorce Act specifically requires a judge to ensure that "reasonable" child support arrangements have been made. In determining what’s reasonable, a judge is specifically required to compare the amount of child support being paid with the guidelines. Normally, a judge will refuse to grant a divorce unless the guidelines amount of child support is being paid.

      There are specific circumstances in which you can pay less child support than the guideline amount - for details, see:
      http://www.ottawadivorce.com/pay_less_child_support.htm


      If your case is not in court, I suppose you could agree to pretty much anything you want. But you always run the risk of your ex taking the matter to court, and she would pretty much automatically get the guideline amount if she did so.

      Also, I note that you’re giving her extra amounts on an ad hoc basis. You should be sure to keep a paper trail for all amounts you pay.

      Yes, child support amounts are high. For 4 children, the guidelines amount is very high. However, the cost of raising children is very high too. I don’t think most single parents could afford to raise 4 children without some financial assistance.
      Ottawa Divorce

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      • #4
        Hi reborn and welcome!

        Yes, I agree with you. Certainly for child support based on most middle class incomes, the support doesn't go far. However, there several areas of the guidelines where there are problems. And raising children is expensive, regardless. I never thought of doing the math that way - that's quite a good way of showing things.
        Ottawa Divorce

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        • #5
          When I divorced, went off my our income from a couple of years earlier durring seperation stage. Not a big difference and all financial info on both sides was disclosed. Then I got a big raise and once she heard came screaming after me, looking for a few months retro. Nothing is written in our divorce to automatically make cost-of-living changes,Knowing that if it went to court the full table amount would be made by the judge, I talked to her and agreed to raise the amount, effective the date she questioned me, with no retro. This saved us both legal fees and accomplished everything for both sides.
          My girlfriends divorce was different. They agreed on the amount and the judge would not sign as he was worried she was not getting enough. They had to go back and re-work the custody issue just so the judge would agree to the lesser amount.
          It seems that if it's agreed and reasonable (as was my case) it may be agreed, but if a judge has to decide...it's automatically to the tables.

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          • #6
            I had a similar set up as Person's in that my support payments were less than the guidelines when it came into play (my support was initially pre-Federal Guideline) but I paid for everything else, most clothing, skates, bikes, hair cuts, dentist ... which would have, if you added that to what I did pay in support, place me above what the guidelines later did set out. The problem came more recently when she did order me to pay according to the guidelines, and I was still bound by the practise of my paying for what I mentioned above. Utilize a lawyer. Handshake agreements have a habit of changing.

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            • #7
              Thank you all for your info, I am glad that there is a place where i can info about divorce, this is great, even a little hepls. My Ex to be and myself have no problem getting along together right now, we get along better now than when we were together, which is fairly odd but thats the way it goes sometimes. I know that what I have told her and what she has told me, on everything that was agreed upon between us cannot be changed between us unless she is not capable of caring for the children, she is taking care of the kids and I can see them pretty much whenever i want. We do not want to courts to decide what happens with our children as this will only hurt my ex and I and more so the children. We have both agreed that the kids stay with the mother, but if she wants the courts to decide, then its shared custody and she loses and lose and so do the kids.

              Our agreement on a handshake is working right now, but once its in the divorce documents, then is that set in stone??? I know I would not have a problem with the support payments set out in the guidelines, but the job I have right now is because I promised her 10 years ago I would find a job at home and not roam around in the type of job I have. And now, I can change jobs at the blink of an eye if I really wanted to. But choose not too under the current situation, as I know this would look bad on me during the divorce. If I change jobs now, I would be giving myself a 40% to 20% pay cut and away from home alot longer. Thats why I have agreed on a set amount with her below the support guidelines. The job I do at present is a very easy job that pays very well, but I get bored and bored in this job is not good. And i have always told myself, I will find a new job when I get bored, I am getting bored now. there are also a ton of contract jobs out there that range from making 30,000 over 4 months to 50000 for six months, but thats it for the year. I live in Ontario by the way.

              Very long story, but wanted you to know the reasons why my ex and I have made an agreement to a lower amount than what the guidelines have to say, I only hope the judge signing the divorce agrees to my situation, my ex certainly knows how it is in my career of choice.
              Last edited by Person; 10-11-2005, 06:45 PM.

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              • #8
                Things have changed

                Now she wants every little detail in a court order . Now I told her that I agreed to everything that has been discussed about the care of the children over the last year of our separation. Now she wants that changed. So I told her ok, Joint custody is want I will settle for and nothing less. So my question is, what must i do to get this rolling. I know this will take my divorce much longer than three months now. Any help will be extremely great.

                Thank you.

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                • #9
                  Sorry to hear things didn't work out as planned, Person.
                  Do yourself a favour and read as much as possible on this site and Jeff site. It will help you understand the process. Like Jeff said earlier, keep track of all the financial assistance you have provided so far. Save your pennies for legal advice and prepare ahead of time to save on those pennies.
                  I would wait for her to take things to court and she will have to pay the cost to start the process while you save for legal fees for now. Work out the Access to your kids now. Start a routine of visits and make child support payment via cheques that can be tracked.
                  Collect all the information for a financial statement, your last 3 years Notice of Assessments on your income tax, copy of your marriage certificate and get ready to provide information to a lawyer. The more prepared you are, the less time spent paying for the documents to be prepared by the legal offices. Just saves you a bit!
                  Secondly prepare yourself to understand the difference between Joint Custody and Access...a lot of parents, misunderstand the facts. What you really want to get secured is Access to your children and the time spent with them. Joint Custody really doesn't mean a lot in the grand scheme of things...but Access does. So educate yourself on those differences before you go spending a ton of money to fight for Joint Custody.
                  I would also start paying her the guidelines amount because if it gets ugly you will be required to pay retro anyway. Judges like to see that child support is paid right from the right...shows you are responsible.
                  That is a little bit of my advice for you...good luck!

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