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  #1  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:02 AM
beltane beltane is offline
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Divorcemanagement.com wrote:
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I believe the issue of free money has been talked to death at this point. As you mentioned, we are all entitled to our opinions and we all perceive information presented to us in the way we choose to perceive it. As the thread has moved beyond the issue of child support to that of spousal support, I am going to close the thread.
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Sean Cummings
I must say, I am feeling quite censored.

If this is an open forum for those of us who are dealing with the daily ins and outs of divorce... why is an active thread with a lively discussion suddenly being "closed"? Shouldn't that just naturally happen? Nobody was calling anyone names... nobody was hurling slurs... from what I can see we were discussing the frustration some women feel about common misconceptions of what spousal support is, or should be.

If the thread quietens down, then it will fall to the bottom of the list as always happens in this forum. Why the sudden need to "close" it?

Am I imagining this? Any thoughts?
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Old 05-02-2006, 12:15 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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In fact hadn't jeff complimented the way the thread was being handled as well??

I am P*ssed about all of this, I think the moderator in question overstepped his authority. Closing off a forum because we call him on what we see as his bias is shameful. Had Jeff or one of the other mods done this - it might have been okay. Even the threads that have been closed in the past have only been closed to allow people time to cool off( and yes i was one of those people)

DM - I suggest you run around and close all the threads that took on a life of their own- that should keep you busy for the rest of the week. Start with Dad's will help dad's with words of wisdom like
"""I will try to help any father I can. Sorry mom, you have enough help already. BTW, I am not against mom's - just the system and people (mom's) who use it to be vindictive.""

Funny I don't see that happening ughhhhh ....
  #3  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:23 AM
Grace Grace is offline
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I also started a new thread about this on the Political Thread. Yes, ladies are voices are being squashed and this is turning into a Men's Rights Forum. And the sad part about it is that we were supporting the Dad's on this forum. I dont think Jeff intended this to be. Hats off to Jeff, LV & Lindsay that are the moderators with a voice of reason. I hope they can correct this.
  #4  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:09 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny
Start with Dad's will help dad's with words of wisdom like
"""I will try to help any father I can. Sorry mom, you have enough help already. BTW, I am not against mom's - just the system and people (mom's) who use it to be vindictive.""
Funny I don't see that happening ughhhhh ....
No one is forced to read or comment on my personal introduction. Yet it has taken on a life of its own. Such is the way of the internet. I can also take healthy debate, flame wars, and more since it is the way of the net. You can always choose not to read it. Even flame wars can be an interesting read. But they don't bother me as they usually burn themselves out.

From what I have seen over the last few months is one post out of eight is a question requiring an answer. And that type of question usually gets a good informative response. Sometimes with a little sarcasm or slight in it, but an answer none-the-less.

The rest are subjective opinions which lead to debates, other opinions, rants, personal attacks or flame-wars. BTW, I do not like harsh personal attacks. But people can call me whatever they want. I got big shoulders.

I am just getting a feeling it is a case of "I don't like this... so I'm taking my toys and going home".
  #5  
Old 05-02-2006, 12:20 PM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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I could have picked a better thread to illustrate my point that there are threads that take on a life of there own and are NOT being closed. 50 50 and going broke would be a better choice. Actually almost all threads that go on of any length end up being off the original topic at some point.

Funny I used the sandbox- toys - going home to Sean in describing his closing the thread.... Again to clarify if the thread had been closed by another moderator and NOT the one who was being questioned I think most of us wouldn't have been as upset. Not that that would have happened as the thread has actually been reopened by Jeff with the position that threads won't be closed except in flame wars etc...

I for one am glad about this. I don't like the discussion being cut off and all we are left with is the question/answer posts and no debate. I don't even thing Sean wants that.
  #6  
Old 05-02-2006, 01:16 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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Jenny,

yeah... pick on someone else will yah!

Another thing I have noticed is the number of posts and topics are increasing steadily. I don't have the stats, but I guess they are. Either way, I can't keep track (nor do I want to) of all the issues, threads and the issues about threads on this forum. So I missed all this thread closing. darn.

But everyone is allowed some adjustment time and get the feel for the forum. I'm glad the thread was re-opened. Sounds like it was interesting.

I guess I am just getting my head around "What do people want (or expect) from this forum". The easy answer would be information. And plenty of people, myself included, post good answers. Sometimes replies strike a nerve both to the reader or the poster and some hurtful digs get added in the mix. Most digs should be in little "thought balloons". But we can't type how we think.

Otherwise to me, most forums are about debates. And anyone can bow out when they want. Ignore posts. Roll their eyes. PM other posters about so and so. But these debates will happen. I am perplexed why people are so thrown off by these discussions.

BTW, threads and discussions, since the dawn of time, will always take on a life of their own. It just happens.

With so much passionate debate and horror story after horror story, why are these laws not changed? Everyone would benefit from firm rules. And expections to the rules would be that, exceptions. Courts are backed up for years. SCC is hearing Family Law case after case. There must be a reason.
  #7  
Old 05-03-2006, 03:35 AM
Tim Tim is offline
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Im not a fan of threads being closed, but it really comes down to what the owners of the forum wish for the forum to achieve..
  #8  
Old 05-03-2006, 08:24 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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I should offer that I am a relative newbie when it comes to acting in a moderator role. I closed the thread in question because it was initially about child support and evolved into a thread about spousal support and concerns that I am insensitive to the value of stay-at-home parents and/or recipients of spousal support.

So I am learning as I go. I probably should have started a new thread and redirected that thread to the new one - perhaps under the title using the term that apparently offended a few people. The thread is open again, that's Jeff's call as he is the administrator. Ironically, nobody is posting to that thread anymore (which I kind of expected) but it has stimulated a good deal of debate and that is always a positive thing.

My thanks to those who have sent me private messages in support - I appreciate and value your opinon. My thanks to those who have sent me private messages in objection to my closing the thread in question - I appreciate and value your opinion as well.

If Jeff would prefer that I no longer act as a moderator, then I will defer to his wisdom.
  #9  
Old 05-03-2006, 11:17 AM
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Lindsay Lindsay is offline
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Hi Sean,

I'm still learning as I go, and I'm a "super" moderator! We're glad to have you on the team.

Lindsay
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