Hi everyone,
I'm going to see a lawyer about this next week but I'm quite anxious and I would appreciate your opinions on my situation.
I have two children (daughter, 12 and son, 6) from two relationships; my son's father and I separated in 2009. Prior to that the four of us lived together for 5 years (my kids, myself, and my son's dad). Both dads and I live in the same city.
The relationship with my son's dad was abusive, I left him and stayed in the shelter for a few months before finding a place with community housing, and this is where my kids and I have lived since. There is no documentation whatsoever on custody and access arrangements, amounts of child support etc., everyone agreed verbally and no one bothered to go through the system. I'm the kids' primary caregiver and decision maker, the dads have access to them whenever they want, and they pay me some child support. I figured it would be better for me not to start a war by dragging them through courts.
Now here is the problem. I'm a student, and I have an internship coming up as a part of my program. The internship is 1 year long and it can be anywhere in Ontario (determined by a lottery). I have talked to the dads about my possible relocation and they are NOT OK with me bringing the kids along, because their access to them will be severely limited if we relocate (one of the dads cannot drive due to a medical condition). They want the kids to stay. Now, if the kids stay with their dads and I go by myself, it isn't ideal either, because:
- the fathers don't have proper accommodations for them (one is living with his mom/friends; the other one has a tiny bachelor)
- the children would have to be separated from each other and me, the primary caregiver
- if I move away for a year, I have to give up my community housing spot which means I will be homeless when I come back, there is no way I can afford market rent being a student and a single mom of two
- if I leave them with their dads, I feel like the dads can just go and get a custody behind my back, or use the fact that I left against me if there is a custody dispute in the future.
So it looks like it is in everyone's best interest if I stay where I am and do not relocate.
Now, the questions:
1. What will happen if I bring the kids with me against their dads' will? Would I be breaking the law? (not that I want to do that, I just want to know)
2. If I leave the kids with their dads, would it jeopardize me getting sole custody in the future if I decide to?
3. My program's director told me that they could potentially make an exception if there is a custody arrangement involved which prohibits me to leave the current city of residence. They would have to see a legal document(s) proving that I cannot move anywhere. What kind of document would that be? How do I get it?
4. Does my program have to accommodate me based on this document or is it up to them?
5. Would this document come back to bite me in the butt later on, if I do want to move? Can this document describe a temporary arrangement? For example, 'So and so cannot leave the city X until the end of her program'? (that's another 2.5 years).
Thank you so very much for reading. I'm sort of new to this and worried sick.
I'm going to see a lawyer about this next week but I'm quite anxious and I would appreciate your opinions on my situation.
I have two children (daughter, 12 and son, 6) from two relationships; my son's father and I separated in 2009. Prior to that the four of us lived together for 5 years (my kids, myself, and my son's dad). Both dads and I live in the same city.
The relationship with my son's dad was abusive, I left him and stayed in the shelter for a few months before finding a place with community housing, and this is where my kids and I have lived since. There is no documentation whatsoever on custody and access arrangements, amounts of child support etc., everyone agreed verbally and no one bothered to go through the system. I'm the kids' primary caregiver and decision maker, the dads have access to them whenever they want, and they pay me some child support. I figured it would be better for me not to start a war by dragging them through courts.
Now here is the problem. I'm a student, and I have an internship coming up as a part of my program. The internship is 1 year long and it can be anywhere in Ontario (determined by a lottery). I have talked to the dads about my possible relocation and they are NOT OK with me bringing the kids along, because their access to them will be severely limited if we relocate (one of the dads cannot drive due to a medical condition). They want the kids to stay. Now, if the kids stay with their dads and I go by myself, it isn't ideal either, because:
- the fathers don't have proper accommodations for them (one is living with his mom/friends; the other one has a tiny bachelor)
- the children would have to be separated from each other and me, the primary caregiver
- if I move away for a year, I have to give up my community housing spot which means I will be homeless when I come back, there is no way I can afford market rent being a student and a single mom of two
- if I leave them with their dads, I feel like the dads can just go and get a custody behind my back, or use the fact that I left against me if there is a custody dispute in the future.
So it looks like it is in everyone's best interest if I stay where I am and do not relocate.
Now, the questions:
1. What will happen if I bring the kids with me against their dads' will? Would I be breaking the law? (not that I want to do that, I just want to know)
2. If I leave the kids with their dads, would it jeopardize me getting sole custody in the future if I decide to?
3. My program's director told me that they could potentially make an exception if there is a custody arrangement involved which prohibits me to leave the current city of residence. They would have to see a legal document(s) proving that I cannot move anywhere. What kind of document would that be? How do I get it?
4. Does my program have to accommodate me based on this document or is it up to them?
5. Would this document come back to bite me in the butt later on, if I do want to move? Can this document describe a temporary arrangement? For example, 'So and so cannot leave the city X until the end of her program'? (that's another 2.5 years).
Thank you so very much for reading. I'm sort of new to this and worried sick.
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