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Old 09-29-2010, 01:25 PM
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Epona Epona is offline
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Default I'm new here...

And navigating the Family Court System for the second time within two years. Two years ago my ex commenced court action to change access -- I really had no problem with most of his requests except his proposed return time was too late for the youngest child. Nine months later the Judge agreed with me. Changes were made but not having a lawyer I overlooked some wording and now the kids are no longer entitled to time with me for special occasions if they fall on their father's weekend. If the special occasions fall on my time, he's entitled to special time. So I either try to have him file a "Motion to Change" or mediation etc.
After the access case was over, ex decided to stop paying S.7 expenses. I've trying to communicate with him etc., in desperation I registered with FRO (mistake as it turns out). FRO only seeks the amount from the agreement when it was filed in 2002. Ex is happy with that because it means he pays over $300 less and doesn't pay S.7 expenses. In desperation, I commenced court action in February. Turns out he is (was) recently unemployed, but didn't tell me. I tried mediation over a year ago and he refused. He didn't refuse when a Judge threatened to dismiss the case when our first case conference was scheduled. So, a couple of months later, we have mediation. We miraculously arrive at an agreement!

Exes lawyer sends me an Offer to Settle. Ex and his lawyer rewrote the mediated agreement, claiming there were numerous typos etc. It also omitted his income from his new job.

Anyway, now we go for a Settlement Hearing at the beginning of November. I have to say, it's very difficult to remain composed in court when all you hear are lies from the opposing parties lawyer. Outside the courtroom, the lawyer acted badly. I tried to show him how much arrears was still unpaid, when he crumpled up a piece of yellow paper and exclaimed, "You've wasted my morning!". I was feeling a bit miffed and said back, "Well, you've wasted my time too".

So that's my story of self-representing -- oh and did I mention that his lawyer refuses to allow his employees to accept service from me? As in they won't acknowledge papers served by "Special Service"? They haven't filed all the papers they should have. Me, the self-represented one, was better prepared for the case than they were.

Been divorced about 6 1/2 years, mother of two boys, one a teen and the other in elementary school. Presently unemployed and finder it much harder than I thought to find employment.
Old 09-29-2010, 02:40 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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Epona please remember a few things. Lawyers llike to get you in a tizzy. Dont becomes pointless. Let the opposing party and his/her lawyer say what they want, can they prove it do they evidence. Make sure if youre claiming that they are "lieing" you can "prove" otherwise. Document Document Document. I am now reccomending to everyone if you are in a Family Court process go to your local zellars wal mart whatever get yourself a planner solely to Document occurences, you can turn it in as evidence, keep track of dates times receipts, phone calls access times, when the party is late/early, everything. I know it sounds maniacal in a way but I will tell you I wished I wouldve started doing it when my divorce started and when my now current husbands becomes like gold
Old 09-29-2010, 03:51 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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I think of a lawyer as an actor whose job it is to paint a picture of the circumstances as they want the judge to see it. A big way of painting this picture is to act, in every manner, to all people, as if this picture is reality.

It's all mind games, hoping to make you shrink back.

Be sure of yourself - YOU KNOW what the reality is - ignore the charades.

BUT if you can prove lies, and these lies are actually relevant to your case (and not just vague character defamation), then by all means, point this out.
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