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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 12-22-2017, 11:46 AM
DivorceSucksCanada DivorceSucksCanada is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paris View Post
Who has custody of the kids? If you do, his CS is 25k per year. That makes your incomes the same.
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
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  #12  
Old 12-22-2017, 11:48 AM
DivorceSucksCanada DivorceSucksCanada is offline
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Also, was hoping for some SS to offset counseling and some other medical expenses that I won't get any coverage for so it would be beneficial in that regards.
I just want to be informed of any/all potential options that may be available to me as I start to navigate through this process and try to minimize change to my children.
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  #13  
Old 12-22-2017, 12:33 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
oh wow this is why some men believe women are parasites. All you are worried about is the $$$$.

You have a good income, even with 50/50 he will most likely be paying you offset CS. You may have to downsize like he will probably have to also.

Forget about SS and work on a parenting plan with your ex for 50/50.
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  #14  
Old 12-22-2017, 01:33 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.

Wow

Its good to know youíre more worried about your standard of living versus best interest of the children.

You are an insult to fathers and mothers who make do on 1/4 of your income and donít complain.

Counseling for the kids is covered as s7. Counseling for you can be covered through your employee EAP.
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  #15  
Old 12-22-2017, 02:46 PM
DivorceSucksCanada DivorceSucksCanada is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
oh wow this is why some men believe women are parasites. All you are worried about is the $$$$.

You have a good income, even with 50/50 he will most likely be paying you offset CS. You may have to downsize like he will probably have to also.

Forget about SS and work on a parenting plan with your ex for 50/50.
I wouldn't care about additional income of getting the kids full time. They are my top priority and I worry every minute about not having them with me and the pain that they will endure when they are told what is happening (and for the record, I do not want a divorce and would do anything in my power to not have it be this way).

I would like to keep the house to not disrupt their lives at this point and give them some stability when all this comes out. That was my main purpose of trying to stay in it. If I can't work the numbers then so be it and we will make a new home wherever we end up.

Sadly, I won't be able to explain to them why we are divorcing under the circumstances.
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  #16  
Old 12-22-2017, 02:50 PM
DivorceSucksCanada DivorceSucksCanada is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Wow

Its good to know youíre more worried about your standard of living versus best interest of the children.

You are an insult to fathers and mothers who make do on 1/4 of your income and donít complain.

Counseling for the kids is covered as s7. Counseling for you can be covered through your employee EAP.
I don't need much - I would be happy in many different places. I am trying to keep the stability for the kids to not disrupt them if I can at all do that to help them adjust. If I can't, then I will pack them up and move them.

For the record, I do not want the divorce at all and am heartbroken about this. My kids are going to be crushed when this is told to them and I can't explain it and why it is happening.

My EAP is useless and limited. I have already tried it unfortunately and basically got nothing out of it and asked for some additional help or referrals and was told that was it.

Thank you for the information about counseling for the kids as covered. I will be sure to have that included as that is of paramount importance to me for their future and how to best work through this with them as things unfold.
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  #17  
Old 12-22-2017, 03:45 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
No, it will be 50/50 for custody so I won't be getting 25K a year from him. I would gladly take full custody if I could have it.
I think the wording of this comment was misinterpreted. It does initially come across as if you are saying you would gladly take full custody if you could get $25K from him. But I believe what you were actually saying is you would gladly have the kids all of the time if you could, not necessarily related to getting more money out of it.
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  #18  
Old 12-22-2017, 04:06 PM
DivorceSucksCanada DivorceSucksCanada is offline
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I think the wording of this comment was misinterpreted. It does initially come across as if you are saying you would gladly take full custody if you could get $25K from him. But I believe what you were actually saying is you would gladly have the kids all of the time if you could, not necessarily related to getting more money out of it.
Yes, I would die for my kids and can't imagine even not seeing them for a day. I have been through hell with all of this and there is much background I can't get into here. I just want to try to protect them going forward any way I can to try to make things okay for them as this will be devastating for them and myself. I imagined nothing other than growing old with my spouse and spoiling grandkids in retirement and traveling and enjoying life as we aged. Never did I see this happening.
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  #19  
Old 12-22-2017, 06:00 PM
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You might want to carefully examine and compare your two health/dental plans carefully. Nothing like expensive orthodontics for children to send your budget awry. People end up on court over things like day/care and babysitter stuff... extracurricular expenses/hobbies they may want to participate in the future. Lessons can be very expensive. Travel for kid's interests as well as travel for school can also be a big deal in the future.

Moving to a new place can be hugely beneficial.. a new beginning of sorts. Don't become house-poor just because you want to stay in the home. Sometimes it's best to get house unloaded before lawyers get their pinkies involved.

Probably the best way to maintain financial sanity is for you to be able to communicate with your STBX and start drafting up agreements. If the two of you can come to agreement you will both save a ton of money as you will "instruct" your respective lawyers as opposed to being encouraged to fight in court... only winners when that happens are the lawyers.

Yes divorce sucks. However, now that you have made your decision you put one foot in front of the other and start planning for future... a better life...
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  #20  
Old 12-22-2017, 08:40 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Divorce and separation is difficult on children. I feel for you and the kids. Being a single parent is more difficult than I realized. I wished I had the 50/50 from the get go, yes it would be a hard adjustment for everyone at the beginning but in the end, I think it would be worth it.

Im guessing you havent told the children yet, and maybe waiting until after Christmas, best to tell them soon after while they have some time to wrap their brains around it, before going back to school.
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